Do you like a "Hey" ?

@krajibg (11923)
Guwahati, India
February 16, 2009 1:19am CST
Though sounds trivial, it is serious for it reflects our deportments, nature, and mostly the sense of courtesy. I mean many of the honoured members here address with words like "HEY" while posting a new topic or responding any topic. It feels too casual as if we have lost the semantic of what respect is meant. There are so many members here who are above 60 and some are in their 70s and if a person of 20s addresses like "Hey" does not it feel discomforting and sort of humiliation. I personally do not like this kind of address. What is your take?
6 people like this
19 responses
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Feb 09
In the real world and more to Asian culture this word is considered rude. But I am used to seeing it here in mylot and am getting immune to get that kind of remarks from our cyber friends in mylot. Sometimes we need to accommodate the ways of others in their style of addressing be it junior or senior . To them it is very normal and friendly.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
Hi Zandi! you seem to have perceived it on the right note. This is more of West Asian Way of hailing. They just don mind it and therefore go on generalizing this. I too am from Asia but personally while addressing in a formal situation I always abstain from using this particular word
3 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Feb 09
let us put it this way, we uphold our strong Asian values and am not surprise that we are able to see clearly certain rude words commonly used here are alien to us and think it is unbecoming of a person to say it especially to older citizen of mylot. This is the place where we learn to accept the flaws of other cultures.
3 people like this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
Thats a fine suggestion. Learning our the flaws we can probably make some rectification as well I guess.
2 people like this
@sharay (2769)
• India
16 Feb 09
I personally dont adress with the word "hey" unless i know that person closely and around my age, i tend to go to the subject directly.... but generally speaking, i dont thing that is a big crime, its just a way of adressing thats all, it depends on each person on how they take it
2 people like this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
That is true. I too use that word when I am addressing some one who is too close to me or say my son. thanks a lot for responding Sharay.
3 people like this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
17 Feb 09
I think this is the first time I've ever seen the word deportment listed in a sentence. Sorry, but I see nothing wrong with casual. We aren't trying to accomplish an english major in some college here. Its myLot for goodness sakes. And if the time ever comes that I have to address my comments such as Dear Madam or Sir, I'll be one of the first ones headed for the door.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Seems to me its you being confrontational with your response. I simply gave my opinion. Isn't that what a discussion is for? As for mylot being my bedroom, that is just weird. As for a warning? I have no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps you'd like to throw the dictionary around a bit more to clear it up?
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Well any thing wrong with the word "Deportment"? And why do you think that all would accept you with your ever casual attitude. And do you think that mylot is your bedroom that you do whatsoever you wish? You might have already experienced the warning you got when you were with some 'words'. Not like the ones of 'deportment'. Why taking a confrontational posture dear...
2 people like this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
18 Feb 09
Well, if it is not confrontation what would the dictionary meaning the word 'confront'? Ok accepted myself a dullard and know not the appropriate usage of certain words. And now I seek your apology if I really meant to hurt your person. No more confrontation. Have a nice day....
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Hi krajibg! I will tell you that I am guilty of using the work "hey" most of the time! I do not mean any disrespect by using this word! I have never even given it any thought! I just like to address the person that is starting the discussion by using their name instead of getting right into it. It just means hello or hi! I don't think anyone else took it as an insult. If they do I aplogize! I have been doing it since I got here 8 months ago! I wouldn never greet someone on the street that way. Like I said, it just means hello!
1 person likes this
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
Well, Opal, All I have to say, is you get my vote for being completely honest. I quickly skimmed my recent activity to see if I too was guilty. Luckily, I was not ths time! But I could have been! I would never greet someone out there on the street that way either but on here, I do struggle with a way to start. I think most of the people using "Hey" are not being disrespectful, it is just a cultural difference. But... you win my vote simply for honesty and integrity, I don'y much care what a person does or does not do as long as they are willing to admit it and stand behind their opinions. I just had to add that!
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Hi Opal please do not tell like that. You are not guilty of ant thing if anything wrond goes there it is the practice in the surrounding you live. I feel rather proud to have a friend like you who easily accepts his faults(?). Thanks you friend. My point was that it would be netter if we could manage not to use that word in all occasions. Thanks dear.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Same as you friend I hate to hear someone would address "Hey" to anybody. For me it would be unethical unless you're mad at someone you're talking with. Or it would just be considerable if you would be calling too far from you...thnks
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
Yes..but I would rather say "hello, excuse me....
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
My point is that if you are not familiar with me you should not address me as 'Hey' for this sounds a derogatory terms for me. I might get offended. So why not you better take care of your tongue? I appreciate your view point.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I apologize for using it myself. I by no means mean for it to be disrespectful and hate that I have made anyone feel that way by that greeting. It really is just a casual way to greet a close friend. At least where I'm from. I really must be more careful as there are so many people from so many different places that things can certainly be mistaken. I'm not in my twenties but have used that greeting before. Sorry again for giving the impression of disrespect. I will be more careful in the future.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
Please , please do not apologize, friends do not do so. and you have made it clear that you do so only with your friends which even me and others are also doing. My point was when you launch a new topic you are not sure who would respond there and if a"HEY" is there some people might feel bad and hold back. thats what was the thing and when you respond you probably know the person and use that word and you do not know use the alternatives. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Thanks. I am in a position at work where I am formal all the time. Mylot has become to me a very comfortable place where friends share questions and opinions in a relaxed environment.I never thought of hey being a disrespectful greeting. It may very well be a regional greeting but where I'm from when your friends visit they are home. There is the heyand then there is the hey.When I use it,it is by no means meant as disrespectful.I do thank you for bringing this to my attention though. I learn something new here from my friends everyday. I think we all can grow from learning from one another.Tolerence and understanding will be our prize.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Dear JenIn please do not feel bad. The most important thing is that we should learn if anything has gone wrong. Now I salute you for your humility that without showing any arrogance you have accepted that that was unknown mistake. I hope this way we would be able to make this s Earth a better living place. Thanks a lot for your positive gesture.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36449)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Personally it is something I think should not be used in here as well, as we are people from all walks of life, age, etc. and if you cannot show some respect in here to others than what are you like in person? Yes, we meet a lot of different types of people here, and sometimes even become close friends with a couple of them as well, but this does not mean we need to use slang here. If it is your Best friend in person than maybe it would be OK, but if not, personally the Social Networking scene is not the right type of place to use this for sure.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Exactly. That was what was my concern. As we all are educated lots here and even after knowing the what is what we just go in with our whim surely the respect content would suffer. You or me would not ask any one to respect us personally but we have to be cautious at least for them who really deserve a polite salutation. To keep the engine of life oiled thee are the small exchanges only. What say?
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
16 Feb 09
i don't like people to call me "hey" at all... to me, it is really rude and annoying... if people call me "hey", i will just ignore the person and walk away. my hubby likes to call me "hey" when he is angry with me and i tell him off... i have a name and if you can't call me by my proper name, then don't even bother to talk to me at all... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Hi! not only you there are many a soul who feel rather humiliated if some one addressed them like that. Now the problem is that are here with different culture and values, some people do not feel that it could hurt them. I do not say they are innocent for they should have had a prior knowledge of the usage of the words.
2 people like this
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
16 Feb 09
I am in my 30s and I hear the word "hey" sometimes in discussions in my normal life and on My Lot. I don't mind hearing it but I respect that it might not be appropriate for some of the My Lot members that are much older than me. Some the same age as me or younger might dislike it. I understand that many My Lot members are writing in a language that is not their own mother tongue language. I am learning Spanish at the moment and so know when making sentences it is not always easy. A similar word in Spanish is spelled "Hay" and it is pronounced "I".
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
You are correct. As English is not the first language for most people here it is likely that some members address in not so likeable way. Considering this factor only we do not pick up a quarrel or whatsoever. But once I know the correct usage of this why I not use it to be in the stream. In case the person you are going to respond it is different. But when I pick up a new topic and make it public I should try to be on the right way. What say? thanks a lot for responding.
2 people like this
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
Hi there Krajibg, Well, I had never considered the issue before, but I do know that when I first started posting here I had a hard time deciding how I should start a discussion or a response. Now, I actually had to go and look to see if I was guilty of using the word "hey". As you correctly point out many of the newer members to Mylot are from other countries and English is not their first language. I am not sure, if you and others are aware that this forumm used to be primarily North American users (From the United States and Canada) and because paypal recently added other contries to their list of where they will send money. Since paypal has expanded their payments to many more contries. Many more people from other places are free to join, participate and earn on Mylot. Personally, I think this is wonderful and greatly enhances my experience of the site, as I like to hear the different cultural influences. Now, that I have given you a bit of the background that I am aware of, I can say that I have checked my responses and I haven't used the word, but, I understand the feeling and the impression it gives you. For us, in North America, it is indeed a widely accepted greeting. I admit it is probably not the best use of the English language, but that is a whole other topic. It really bothers me when others use chat room short forms in their postings. I am occasionally guilty of using shortforms or chat slang, but, for the most part, I write full and complete sentences. Thanks you for posting this discussion and giving me a chance to think about how another may view my actions, even when I think it s something that is fully acceptable to me, it may not me to someone else. Until next time, Happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
Hello Wheel416, You said the right and actual thing which I might have had forgotten to include here. The history my mylot was an additional information and the coinage 'hey' came to stay ever since. The entire thing that you put was so absorbing and informative and you have described the reason as to for wht reason some people use such language. Thanks a lot for responding.
2 people like this
@twinklee (894)
• India
17 Feb 09
hey!!!!....has become quite common word when we need to catch the attention of some other person......i prefer to say to ma friends & yes it is an casual form of an alert...u can say tat....
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
You are right man, This is better when we use for our friend but when it comes on to a formal occasion I think the alternatives are better. Have nice time.
2 people like this
@tudors (1556)
• China
24 Feb 09
yeah, "hey" is a little bit rude, but between friends, it's ok. American teachers always tell their pupils "hey " is for horses!" to prevent young students to say hey , see? hey shares the same pronounciation of "hay". An american friend of mine told me this. His teacher used to say this to ban them from saying hey which is a little bit rude.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
24 Feb 09
Yes Tudor, you are correct. In such forum we better be without it while posting a new topic. Thanks a lot for responding
2 people like this
@maezee (42003)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Oh boy. I think I'm in trouble.. Lol. I definitely say "Hey", but only because it's a more casual version of "Hello" (which sounds oddly constrained) and "Hi". I also sometimes say "Hey there!" or "Hi there!", because it seems a lot more friendly than the run-of-the-mill "Hello". It's also part of my personality, too, to be more friendly and casual and less professional about things (sad, but true). I think the people who say "Hey" aren't trying to disrespect anyone (including me!), it's just the casual language they are used to using.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
No offence! as people have opined here that as we differ linguistically from each other and as in most of the cases English is not first language, so it could be accepted. My point was if we know its application and the effect upon the native speaker why not better use the rather other forms of this instead of a 'hey'. I know this is a casual address,limited within the more closer ones and friend circle but if we happen to address a public where people of all age group are there and most of them are not your known faces, we avoid this. Thanks for sharing.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Feb 09
I honestly dont think its a big deal but yea some people to get offended by it but thats just the way it is. In my opinion people should not get offended by every little thing that is said. I mean cmon getting upset about a 3 letter word im sure the is way more disrespectful things to say here. Or how about this the next time someone addresses u with "Hey" You just don't answer them simple as that.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
No, like that, even me do not mind that either if people address me like this for I know this has been done in ignorance. Besides I am not that old that would really offend me. The most important thing how many of them have participated here. Thanks a lot for your response.
2 people like this
@Sreekala (34314)
• India
16 Feb 09
Hi krajibg, I never use a salutation like 'hey' instead I am using 'Hi'. I agree with you as I also feel bad to use the word 'hey' because I thought it is a disrespectful word. But I never blame those who use the same word, I know that people are respecting their friends and if somebody uses the word according to them the word is a respectful one. If somebody calls me like that it will disturbed to some extent but I never tell anything to them because of the above mentioned reason. But if it is in a private talk definitely I will tell my dislike politely to the person who addressed me with a word ‘hey’. Thanks and have an excellent day.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
Hi Sreekala! Very well explained. This is usually an west Asian and African style like using the creole. They are blissfully unaware that it hurt some people. But with such discussion here it could be conveyed to them, if at all want to be conveyed. ha ha ha.Thanks a lot for your rresponse
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
16 Feb 09
That's just the way people speak. I don't like it much either but I put up with it. My youngest son will call me and the first word he says is "hey". I always feel like saying "what?" but I don't, that's just how he is. We don't have to say it, we can set a good example to the young people--although it's not limited to them. My ex husband used that expression when I met him 24 years ago! I would prefer a higher level of articulation but all our societies have been "dumbed down" so much that I'm afraid I'll just have to put up with it!
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
16 Feb 09
You have put up the right thing I guess. Most of we do not like that as it sounds rather offensive when use in a public forum. But what to do when some people who do not intent to humiliate any one but just a way to express theirs. It could be the possibly the Yanki style that gone to them through various media. Thanks a lot for the response.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Feb 09
hi krajibg...i often say, "hey" for "hi." i'm in america and i've never heard anyone say anything negative about it. so i'm surprised to read that you and some others consider it disrespectful or humiliating. btw i'm 53. i talk to people older than myself and they never say anything about it. i guess different people have different views.
• United States
17 Feb 09
hi krajibg...it is definitely a culture thing. i've heard before about things that we should keep in mind if we go to another country. some hand gestures here that are positive have a negative meaning in other countries. here in the U.S. to say hey means nothing. it is friendly. but should we leave the U.S. and go to other countries we should study up on words that are not taken the way we mean them. so with myLot we are all thrown together. all the different cultures and countries. that will bring some cultural differences and misunderstanding. it's interesting how things that we consider friendly and positive in america are taken the wrong way in other countries. i definitely mean no disrespect towards you. i will try to keep your view in mind should we talk again. but if i am not thinking say hey please consider it as a friendly american. we mean no disrespect. have a good day and best wishes.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
18 Feb 09
Hi GGT! Please do not mind this address as your username is too long! Yes I must admit you have described things all in detail. As this place is a home for all culture and all values and all nations, dissimilarity is not unexpected. I appreciate your logic that as I am an American I should not expect that all would be happy with my approach and attitude. Hence it would be better if we pay a lill attention to this side of the thing too. Thanks a lot for this contribution.
2 people like this
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
I used to start greeting my friends with "hey" as in "hey what's up or hey what's happening?" it's oly now I realize it can be disrespectful to others. For me, it's like an slip of the tongue or an expression to greet especially online friends. I do appreciate much your post touching on this, at least we are being reminded otherwise I'll be continuously addressing my friends with "Hey", thinking it's just a casual greeting like Hi and Hello. My apology to mylotters if ever I might have used "hey" in addressing them to any of my comments, I don't mean to be inpolite. Without knowing I might be offending others. To be sure I would avoid using "hey" in calling one's attention.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
17 Feb 09
How nice is this dear Bing to confess and accept if anything had gone because of you. Now people are there to defend their cause. But you turned our to be different. This sis all whoa you are. Thanks a lot my friend.
2 people like this
@UK_Shree (3603)
24 Feb 09
I really think it depends on who you are addressing. I wouldn't say hey to my parents or those relatives that are older than me, but I do say hey to friends. I don't think it is rude to say hey, but it is casual and informal and you cannot say it to everyone or in every situation