Are you insulted when your husband does the dishes?

@Jellen (1852)
United States
February 17, 2009 4:29pm CST
Is he doing it because he is inclined to help? Is he doing it because he is a stay-at-home dad? Is he doing it because you've got your hands full or because that's how you've split up the household chores? Or... Is he doing it because you are NOT doing it soon enough to suit him? Knowing the motivation behind his actions can keep you from feeling insulted or it can verify that you're being insulted. So which is it, an insult or a blessing?
7 responses
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
Hey, if I can get my husband to help with anything around the house, I don't knock it!! Usually he picks up the kids after work from daycare and then he gets home first, so he makes dinner for them. I usually end up doing dishes, but that's okay. He makes the coffee so it's ready for brewing in the morning, he starts a fire in the fireplace and he stocks up the wood for the fire. Sometimes he gets out a broom and sweeps the floor. I am not insulted by any of this, he is on my team and we help each other out whenever possible. That's part of being partners for life!
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Great answer. I wish I never felt insulted, but I must admit, I have before. My husband is an ultra-perfectionist who has been known to redo the way I stack dishes in the dishwasher. So I'm never quite sure if he is "helping us" or doing things his way on his time schedule. I know...I know...it's my problem...
@zim1fW (286)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
The insult you feel apparent results from lack of enough communication between you and your husband. He will not be telling you why he helps if you will not ask him. So ask him.
• United States
17 Feb 09
I try never to do the dishes, I don't want my wife to know I know how!
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Of course, that made me smile. But I'm guessing you find other ways to help out around the house?
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 09
That is true, I stay out of her way when she is vacuuming and doing laundry, not to mention cooking!
1 person likes this
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I wonder, does she hide when the grass needs mowing?
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 09
Heck no. I love it. Mine will do the dishes and even cook dinner sometimes (he is actually a better cook than me). I do most of the house work because I am the one home with the kids all day. But he does help out some.
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Great that you know the motivation and great that you have the help. You are a lucky woman, and you can tell the hubby I said so.
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
Mine, is doing not too much to help around the house. I wish he would, I really, really wish! I even told him to do something to help me. He was on a holiday for 2 weeks, while I had to work. I told him"would'n it be so nice to come home, just once, and find a nice dinner or dishes washed"? Pay attention that I did not ask for both: a dinner AND washed dishes. Do you think I got either of them? No, sir.Nothing. He had to recharge his batteries....
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I'm sorry for your misery. Makes me wonder if his father did anything around the home or was an absent father. If his mother did it all, he most likely expects the same from you. What would happen if you just didn't do the dishes and you ran out of clean ones? Could you use paper and just ignore the stacks for a day or two? Maybe it's time for you to take a holiday...away from home perhaps? Or better yet, invite his mother over when you are away, and see if she cleans up after him or gives him what's for...
@qamarep (4448)
• Pakistan
20 Feb 10
i am a man an i am not insulted for doing the dishes so why would the woman be insulted for this
@daliaj (5686)
• India
7 Jul 09
I will be so happy if my husband helps me with doing dishes. He is not a house husband, he is also working. I would appreciate him for the time he spends for helping me cleaning dishes. My husband does most of the house cleaning (bathroom and sweeping, I am not good at that)and I do cleaning dishes.
@caver1 (1765)
• United States
5 Jul 09
I'm not insulted at all. He is only trying to be helpful. Sometimes it's because he knows I'm busy others because he knows I'm not feeling well. It is a blessing when he helps or in some cases simply takes over.