A moral foundation

@TLChimes (4842)
United States
February 17, 2009 7:27pm CST
How do we lay a good moral foundation or base for our kids? What is a good moral base? What if they stray from the path that you would expect them to follow? Is it your fault? Does the moral base well laid, mean a guarantee for a good adult? Does life interfere with what we taught them? Here's my thoughts but I really am wondering about yours. Teaching our kids right from wrong begins at birth. We lay moral code over moral code all through their childhood and into the teen years. They hear our lessons all their life. BUT at some point they think for themselves. They take what they will and leave the rest. No matter what you've taught them they can stray. I've seen great kids come from bad homes and bad kids come from great homes. I don't think the parents are to blame as long as they did the best they knew how to teach the basic moral code and lived by it.
4 people like this
6 responses
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
18 Feb 09
we as parents try to show our kids the proper to act or be by our actions. if they see us yelling in handling things, then they learned from that. but often our kids will drift away from their learning. and often time it's not always our fault as parents, there is often they get influance by others, but it's up to us to snag them back
3 people like this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
18 Feb 09
By the collar or ear? With my oldest it was his other parents stupid bad path he picked to follow. It wasn't until his late teens. And it took him fast. I think he'll come back around, soon I hope. I took him by the wrist. When the police asked where he was... I told them.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Feb 09
i am a true beliver in tough love. i look at it ok i can turn in my own kid or they will get them either way and it might be a chance they could get hurt if they put up a fight. we do what we got to do. for our kids sikes,
3 people like this
• India
18 Feb 09
well my thoughts are somewhat akin to yours. As parents we are basically guide for children who are the future citizens. We try to shape them into worthy individuals so that society is benefited from them and they can lead a happy, fruitful and peaceful life. However, there are two things that matter here…one is how we, as parents, behave with and in front of our children. To me it is of vital importance that I follow the same rules which I expect my child to follow. If I expect my child not to watch TV, then I don’t watch it too. Secondly, we must remember that every child is also an individual, they are never mirror images of their parents. So they are bound to have individual traits which can never be completely anticipated at childhood. So parents are not to be completely blamed, but yes, they cannot escape the responsibility either, of a completely errant individual.
3 people like this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I have the same rules for myself as them because it would be hypocritical of me to do otherwise. But I am concerned about what happens that isn't what we laid down for them but what life and the world adds to it. Outside influences.
2 people like this
@skysuccess (8881)
• Singapore
18 Feb 09
TLChimes, IMHO, we should always lead by example in this area. Many times, a lot of us adults have actually forgotten this very basic and oblivious their conduct in public and worst in their humble abode. In the words of Confucius: "To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness." IMHO, virtues observed would be the very basis of moral foundation and all of us will need to be exemplary to the younger generations. Have a nice day.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Your Humble opion is very good indeed. It seems that people agree that children live what they learn... let's hope we are teaching what we should.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Leading by example is a very good idea. Children learn a lot from adults especially the parents. Kids can really have a way of emulating their elders and it is up to us to show them the values they need to get through in the world. Teaching a child to treat others in a good way and to share in the world is something of one of the most important values.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
18 Feb 09
As a mother I find that I wonder about these things from time to time. I just know that I want my son to grow up with the background of knowing he was loved and had the attention he deserved. It is a shame that our children can go astray no matter how we tried to lead them down the right path. I just want to teach my son the proper values and know that I did my best.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I agree... I think you and RowanTree are right that truly bad kids can't come from truly good homes. Thanks for all your comments here!
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
20 Feb 09
You have to decide on a plan with your partner and stick to it I reckon. You have to set a good example, lead with strength and love, set limits and be consistent I was not allowed to read newspapers or watch the news or tv after 8:30 even when I was 16. We went to church and had goodness bashed into us. My life's lessons were a contradiction and my parents were hypocrites and I was very naive. My two older sisters and younger brother coped ok and are leading successful lives with stable families and relationships...somehow, I lucked out I was a mess as a single parent raising 2 girls. I failed with them and they left home at 12 and 13. One has turned out very successful and competent and the other...well she always lands on her feet but she has made a mess of things. I know how things should be but putting them into practice is a different story.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
20 Feb 09
(see...I told you that you added good things) I have to give you a major credit- you admit to your mistakes. That is hard for a parent to do and rare for them to do out where others can hear it. My mother was like that... she messed up but blamed it all on the stuff life handed her. So I learned to admit to my mess ups. I openly talked to the 16 year old about it and he said "Mom, you did what you knew how and the best you could do" If you did the best you knew how... then you did what you could.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
20 Feb 09
I did my best with what I knew but my best was carp. I stuffed up too. I don't think 1 person can raise kids. You need help. You need ongoing support and you need back up. You need to have someone to turn to or someone to turn up when you are not coping. Even a family with 2 parents sometimes need help and it's when there is help available...things don't seem so bad...not to the parent/s or the children.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
18 Feb 09
Parents will be successful as long as they practice what they preach. Kids learn by example and repitition........but as you say, at some point they become their own individual and will go their own way. But hang in there. When they get to middle age, they'll REALLY show you what they learned from you.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Yep... I loved the day my teen son came home from school all mad. I asked what was up. After a bit he told me that he had a horrid day at school. I got all concerned and asked him why. "All I could hear was you voice in my head" It seems he was asked to take a bit of time out of class to um..... talk, to this girl. He didn't do it. I laughed my back end off for weeks with that one.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
19 Feb 09
LOL When I was a teen I used to hear my Dad's voice in my head all the time........"Stop that! You'll have to go to confession now!" Drove me nuts and screwed up my sexuality big time for awhile! LOL But it wasn't until my late 30's that I heard my Mom's voice coming out of my mouth! THAT was scary! Made me realize though just how much I learned from them both.............
1 person likes this