Are you proud of the direction of your life?

United States
February 19, 2009 10:58am CST
As I'm writing this I'm realizing that I may not make perfect sense. I'm still quite sick and my brain isn't functioning to 100% capacity, but bear with me! Over the past couple of days my husband and I have made some decisions that are drastically going to change our lives for the better. (I'm going to explain this as if nobody has any background information, because some of you don't know all of it!). For 3 years we've been living in a home owned by hubby's parents. It's been a nightmare since day 1. The house is falling apart, it needs loads of work, and we've had plumbing and electrical issues the whole time as well. My in laws don't want to put any money into fixing the house for us, so we're basically forced to deal with these horrible issues. Add to that the fact that they feel as if they can control us just because they own the house. They've been making our lives a living H-E-L-L for years now. We haven't done anything about the situation until now for many reasons. We have horrible credit and figured we wouldn't be approved for any other type of home. We also have to worry about whether pets are allowed at whatever home we get because I will not give up my cats, and we had to worry about whether we could afford the move and the new home. We can't afford much more than we're already paying, and unfortunatly most places want quite a bit for rent. But recently our situation has deteriorated, and it's become imperitive that we move out as quickly as possible. So we've found a smaller, but affordable home that we should be moving into within a few weeks. We're also taking other steps to free ourselves of the in laws. Our vehicle insurance has been under their name for many years, and we're finally getting our own insurance as well. Hubby's car has been in his parents name for over 5 years, and now we're buying him his own vehicle that his parents have no control over! We're also taking steps to fix our credit. We have an appointment next Wednesday to begin the process of filing for bankruptcy. This will wipe out all of our bad credit and we'll be able to start fresh. We've gotten an account at a credit union, which will give us a secured credit card without any fees attatched, so that we can begin to build up our good credit, for probably the first time ever, which we'll do after we've completed the bankruptcy process. So, for the first time in a very long time I finally feel like we're on the right path. Although it appears we're taking some backwards steps (like moving from a large home into a small trailer, and declaring bankruptcy) in actuality we're moving forward by doing these things. For the first time in a long time I'm feeling very hopeful for the future, and feel like in a matter of a couple years, we'll have the life we've always wanted. I don't feel so stuck anymore, there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel. It's still a rather long tunnel, but now I can finally see the light instead of as before I was still looking for even a shimmer! I'm sorry this has gotten so long, and I apologize if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, or if I've repeated things I've already said in previous discussions. This is just such a wonderful feeling that I just have to share it! Are you happy with the current direction in your life? Has there ever been a time you've felt hopeless and couldn't begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Have you made it out of that tunnel yet, or are you still following the light?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@GreenMoo (11842)
28 Feb 09
Congratulations! Sounds like your taking back the power to control your own lives, and that'll make you feel so much more positive. When I'm feeling 'stuck', just doing something, anything is a good start towards making me feel brighter. The most depressing thing is to feel that someone else holds all the cards and you're just a puppet. Good luck! Just keep on slowly moving forward. Sometimes you take a few steps back again, but so long as there's more forward movement than back then you'll know you're doing the right thing.
@GreenMoo (11842)
28 Feb 09
Ooops, I forgot to answer your question!!! I guess I'm pleased with the direction my life has taken, and proud that I've managed it. It's been a long haul to get this far with my 'big plan', and even further till it's operational!!
• India
20 Feb 09
Let me first say you your posts exudes your happiness and hope and how I support all the moves you have taken to rid yourselves of a very uncomfortable situation. We all love our parents but its not worth using any of their things if they are not treating you as their child and rubbing in the debt real hard! Leave it to them, move out on your own…having pride and belief in self is sometimes the only source of sustenance you need to move forward in difficult times. The trailer is definitely small but its your own and that is all that should matter…I wish you and your family all the best and since you have taken this very bold step in the right direction, I am certain that things can only improve from here on.
• United States
20 Feb 09
Thank you so much, you're so right. Doing this makes us feel so great, we are proud of ourselves for the choices we're making now, and we know things will be so much better in the near future.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
20 Feb 09
I am so happy for you and your family. I can see you are taking positive steps to improve your lives. As you say you have a little way to go but at least you are heading in the right direction! Sometimes we get into a rut and although we can see things should be different it's hard to motivate ourselves to get out of it. My life is a bit like that at the moment! Good luck to you, hope you enjoy your new found independence!
• United States
20 Feb 09
Thanks for your kind response and best of luck to you in your endeavors!
@xParanoiax (7006)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I escaped my dark tunnel officially a year ago now. I am truly happy with the direction my life's going...even if it is totally and utterly unpredictable. So many NEW experiences for me, so much learning I'm doing. I can't regret anything. I'm glad you're starting to see the end of your own tunnel ahead, dearie! All the luck in your travel to the light itself, and may everything you do work out for the best.
• United States
20 Feb 09
That's great news that you're out of your tunnel. Keep up the great work!
@sid556 (31029)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Yes, I've been in a few tunnels myself. It can be so tough but they key is to recognize it and work at getting out. It looks as if that is just what you are doing. It'll be rough going for a bit but in the end, I think it will be well worth it for you. I think it is amazing that you and your husband have managed to work together on this and not let his parents come between you! I'm sure it's been a strain and I can only imagine that getting out from under their control will only strengthen your relationship. That in itself is worth everything! As for my direction in life...I'm good with it. I still do a lot of tunnel crawling but with experience my tunnels have become much shorter. I think I've mastered the technique!
• United States
20 Feb 09
That's great for you! We're getting there. We are actually going through many tunnels right now, and the ends to some are closer than the ends to others, but at least at this point there is an end in sight for every tunnel we're in. I know one tunnel just leads to another, but I hope the future tunnels will be shorter and easier to navigate as yours are. Are my metaphores as confusing to you as they are to me? LOL
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Hi kats! I think that you have done the best thing that you could possibly do for you and your family! I have been following your posts for awhile now and know the agony that you have been going through and also know that this was not an easy decision for you or your hubby! I know that this is the only way out for you both! You will finally be free of his over bearing miserable parents for good! And that alone is worth everything that you have to go through even if it means taking a few steps backwards! I think that this is wonderful and that you and your family will benefit in the end! I am very happy for you that you have made this decision! I think that it is definitely the right choice! Sometimes in life we have to go backwards to go forwards! I have done this myself! You and your family will be so much happier and better off! I'm so sure of this and I want to wish you all the very best of luck! You did the right thing!
• United States
20 Feb 09
Thanks Opal. It is very exciting, and even more exciting now that we know we have a place to go, and plans are being etched in stone here, and we know our future will be brighter. It is like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and I can feel the stress just melting away. I have hope for the future, which is something that's been escaping me for years. It feels so good! Now I'm anxious to see how the in laws react to our news, but we don't plan on telling them yet unless we have to. We want to wait until we're already moved before we tell them we're gone.
• China
19 Feb 09
I am a college student,I will graduate this year.Now I am in serious pressure of finding job and future life,you know,finding job is difficult this year for the global financial crisis?Buying a house is very difficult for me even I can find a good job.A house costs about at least there hundred of thousand yuan(in Chinese money) in the city I live,but I only have thirty yuan salary one month and I have no money in bank now.I also have to save money for my wedding,for I am 26 years old now. Use your words,I am in a tunnel that there is no light at the end of which.I don't know how to deal with my future life ,I have no confidence.
• United States
19 Feb 09
Good luck with all that you have to accomplish in your future.
@ravinskye (8247)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I'm so happy for you! I'm still looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Every time I think I see it I blink and it is gone. We get caught up on our bills with our tax refund each year but then we end up back in the hole within a few months. Daycare is so expensive and it is difficult to get help paying for it. Though when I hear about how bad your situation was it makes me feel a little bit better lol. I hope that we can start taking steps to make our credit and our lives better soon.
• United States
19 Feb 09
We were in that rut for years too. Last year our entire tax return went directly to our power bill!!! Actually this is the first time in years our taxes have not been used to pay bills and get caught up. I did pay our power bill with it, but we've been doing good about staying on top of that lately, so it was only for this month, and I only paid it to get it out of my hair and relax for the rest of the month. I know how you feel about the daycare too, that's why I'm a stay at home mom. I can't even hope to pay for daycare for all these kids. I don't plan on even attempting to work until my youngest is in school.
@lilybug (21183)
• United States
21 Feb 09
Things have gotten a lot better for me recently, but things could still be so much better too. I can't expect it all to happen at once though. It is going in the right direction at least. I think it is great that things are looking up for your family and things are finally going right for you guys.