Parents and excuses

United States
February 19, 2009 11:39am CST
My older daughter goes to gymnastics and my baby girl comes with us so she runs around and plays with the other babies. Well this one little girl who is younger then her is always mean to her. She will take things out of her hand or pull on her clothes. She does this to all the babies there. The moms excuse is she has an older brother. What kind of excuse is that? Are you not the parent? Shouldn't you correct it before it gets any worse? Do you know parents like that? What kind of excuses have you heard?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@riyasam (16578)
• India
6 Apr 09
i dont know why some parents behave so irresponsibly.i think it is the duty of the mother to correct them both ,kids are now in the impressionable age and they lesrn faster.you shouldnot let your child anywhere near her.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 09
This past week the little girl left 2 scratches on my babys face so now I am going to call and check for a different class to put my little girl into so I don't have to deal with them anymore.
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I have dealt with anything like that. When my son snatches i correct him. It sounds more like she was saying as a younger child that her brother is her influence. You know if the big brother snatches from her and pulls on her clothes she is more likely to take that i do it to others. I am not saying its okay. I am saying the mom should correct it with both children and not just one.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 09
I agree, I think the mom should be correcting it on both parts. Some parents are just so lazy and think "Well, they'll grow out of it, or they'll learn on their own" That's not true. They don't learn unless the parents tell them it's wrong!
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@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Running a daycare, I have heard all of the excuses in the book. I love it! I agree. The parent should be nipping this in the bud right away. I had a boy who use to spit and it was because his uncle spat in front of him one weekend. That was the moms excuse. I told her that it was not appropriate and she would have to talk to him about it because that is not going to be happening here. I had to start putting him in time out and talking to him about how nasty it is to spit. It took a while, but he finally stopped. I also have the boy who is 3 and uses a binky. Not here! Only at nap time. His mom says he loves it too much so he can have it as much as he wants at home. Crazy.
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@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
19 Feb 09
My mom works at a daycare as well. The worst thing she says that she ever had to deal with is There was a four year old and three year old still on the bottles. NOt kidding. THey said they wouldn't allow it while they were at daycare but when they confronted the mom she would say oh it comforts them. I dont know if it still goes on but my mom says once the mom leaves them in the morning they put those bottles up and the two toddlers do fine without them.
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@oyenkai (4398)
• Philippines
5 Apr 09
I've heard parents say "well, they're just kids" and think that kids actually grow out of being mean. I think they're just trying to avoid having to BECOME parents and they'd rather not teach their kids what right or wrong is because it takes a lot of time, a lot of patience, and a lot of sacrifices to be THAT kind of parent. Thanks for the response on my discussion!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 09
I have heard one that is a doozie, "I cannot make him mind" For gods sake he is only three! The last time I saw the mother the kid was a drop out and the older brother was 21 living at home doing nothing. She would also come to my house and expect me to discipline her kids she would say "It is your house you discipline them" So one night I asked them to leave because it was my kids dinner time and they would not leave. So I got real nasty and told them to "Leave now or they would never be able to come back ever again." I worked nights and slept during the day we had one neighbor who's kids would ring my door bell all day long to ask if my kids could come out and play. I asked the mom to keep her kids away from my door bell till at least 2pm. She said "I cannot watch them when they are outside I do not know what they are doing." so I said "OK then the next time they ring my door bell before 2pm then I will be ringing your doorbell at all hours of the night when I am awake. He kids then minded my rules.
• India
20 Feb 09
There is no dirth of such parents who do not check their children for their bad behavior. They take pride in their child being a bully. They will repent later in life when the child starts bullying the parents. i have come across many parents who support their child in all wrong things the child does and then then repent later.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Feb 09
well parents should take care of the children and they should not leave it lightly else it will give bad effect to the child only
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@zhuuraan (967)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I can't think of any off the top of my head, but no that is most definitely not an excuse! That mother should then be teaching both the daughter and her brother how to share nicely. I can't stand parents like that! They are not parents if you ask me. It's so stupid!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 09
It's always hard to broach parenting with another parent, but sometimes it needs to be done. I'd approach her the next time you are there and say that you and the other mothers are concerned for her daughter's behavior. Explain, lovingly, that you understand that she has an older brother but that her behavior is not acceptable with the other children. You'd like to see her either work with her daughter or not bring her. I've heard all sorts of excuses for parenting mistakes. It seems some parents always want to deflect their problems on someone else, be it school, another child, etc. It takes the responsibility off their shoulders. Good luck to you though. Anora
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@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I have an 18 month old daughter who is mean as heck, but she get's punished when she does something wrong. She is always beating up so to speak her 6 year old brother. I do feel the parent should correct this before it does get way out of hand. It's better to start early than regret it later.
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@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I have heard many excuses from parents. "She's just tired", or "It's been a long day for her", "Her brothers pick on her, so she picks on others". es, they are annoying. I have kids of my own, and I do not hesitate to correct them when they do wrong. I don't hit them or put them down, but I am quick to let them know that the behavior is unacceptable. Fr example, my daughter used to throw a fit in the store to get her way, it didn't help her at all, it only made her have to leave the store all together, no matter what we had in the cart. After taking her out of the tore a few times and telling her that throwing a fit is not good behavior, she stopped doing it. If paretns don't correct their kids, their kids will continue the bad behavior.
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@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I guess some parents just don't take responsibility for kids behavior. Or maybe she is actually afraid to "parent". If my daughter (who is 5) were to misbehave we either make her apologize, or remove her from the situation, or both. We also explain why she should. I agree she should correct it before it escalates.
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@dlr297 (5418)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Yes to many parents these days do not correct their kids, And they do come up with all kinds of excuses. I am just out spoken enough that i would have looked at that mother and politely said are you going to continue to let your child do that. If the mother did nothing i would have gone over and gently gotten the toy back for my child. and told the other child that that is not a good thing. I do not have any children left at home they are all grown up and on their own. And i think that i did a pretty good job, because they have turned in to good adults.. I have noticed that a lot of kids do not have respect for any thing, and they think that they are owed something, not all of them but enough to notice.
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@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Um... wow. She really didn't teach the older child manners so it doesn't surprise me that the younger one isn't getting taught. Learning begins at birth. You don't really have to "teach" a child something if it's already part of their day to day life. Manners don't have to be taught if they are introduced from the start. If you treat baby well then baby learns to teach others well. If you let big brother treat baby wrong you are teaching baby to do wrong. Kind of simple to figure out who's at fault. There is no excuse for that kind of parenting. Why even try? If you are making an excuse then YOU know something is wrong and needs to be fixed. There are kids with issues like Autism that can be behaviorally hard to guide but I still don't let mine hit or harm others.
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@poohgal (6848)
• Singapore
20 Apr 09
Hmm.. that parent is just giving excuses for her child's lack of discipline. You can just ignore such people. By right, kids with siblings should be more understanding towards other kids. Usually kids with no siblings are the ones who are more spoiled.