The Coughing Is Going To Drive Me Off In Time

@wolfie34 (26881)
United Kingdom
February 22, 2009 5:12pm CST
Do you live with anyone who coughs morning, noon and night? Or do you know anyone who coughs all day long? Whether non stop or off and on throughout the day Does it drive you to distraction? Does it get on your nerves or do you grow to accept it and it doesn't bother you? My father smokes heavily, a pipe and he coughs all day long, it's a horrid deep cough and sometimes he will even spit into the bin the phlegm, it's disgusting and you can understand why I refuse to eat food when I am in his presence. I know I shouldn't castigate him but he was told by the doctor to either cut smoking in half or cut out altogther, his attitude is, he won't listen to them. I think he is very selfish as the smoke gets everywhere, I can't prove anything but I am sure the smoke or the passive smoking is affecting my mum and myself, but he won't stop. But it's his hacking cough day in day out that is driving me cuckoo, I desperately want to leave but it's being able to afford a place, I need a job, I don't care what it is, as long as it's enough to support even just a room So have you had to deal with someone who coughs morning, noon and night? And how have you dealt with it? Has it caused you to leave your partner? I can't really say much because he did take me in when I had to escape the ex, trouble is if I sound him off about it he will take it out on mum, it's a lose, lose situation. He refuses to stop smoking, even when I tell him that after being diagnozed with mild asthma it could be related to the smoke! I don't think I can put up with his infernal, constant coughing for much longer and it's not very nice either. It sometimes wakes me up, it goes right through me and the health implications not just for mum and I but for him too? There is no easy solution, well apart from leaving and my friends know how badly I want my freedom and independence.
5 people like this
12 responses
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 09
Well Sweetheart you could not live with me then Mind you Night time I am not to bad unless my Lungs are really bad like infections or in a bad way, with this Illness I do cough quite a bit in the Day though because my Lungs are so weak they need to clear it out if not I am in trouble lol It is not a Smokers CCough anymore thank god since I have cut down so much on that one But my Cough is just a cough to clear and it is not all Day long it is only worse when I have Lung infections which with this Illness I am very prone to But if your Dad is coughing that bad he needs to either stop or at least cut down Love you Sweetheart xxxxx
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
He'll never cut it out my dear friend, it's like a pacifier to him, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep it's in his mouth, sad, really. Hugs to you and my bessie me Gissi x
2 people like this
• India
23 Feb 09
Oh dear, that sounds really terrible! A pity your Dad doesn't listen to listen. I guess he loves the TV too?? Well, Wolfie, isn't it about time to pack up? Start by making a resume and hunting for jobs. Tough yeah, but you will get a great place soon. Cheers and happy Mylotting
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
You got that right, from the moment he gets up he'll watch tv until he goes to bed, what a sad life, but it's his life not mine, the smoke is affecting my health but it's his house, so I have to make the choice to move.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
23 Feb 09
This is coming from the viewpoint of a nearly lifelong smoker, wolfie, but most of us will fight tooth and nail rather than give up our smokes.I fully understand your situation and I wish I knew of something you could say to convince your father to slack up on the smoking. I have been coughing myself lately but I think it is due to a bad head cold. I am going to make a sincere effort to give them up soon but the idea fills me with terror because they have been a part of my life for so long. Luckily I live alone so my coughing does not bother anyone.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
There is only one answer my dear friend, I need to move out! I crave my independence and I need it desperately otherwise I'll go cuckoo!
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I have to confess that I was one of those who coughed like you say your dad does. Mine was caused from smoking also. I did quit smoking Dec. 27th 2007 cold turkey. No one smokes in the house any longer either, they smoke on the back patio or when it is too cold in the garage. I did not tell them to but am thankful they do. I quit when I was taken to the hospital very sick with double pneumonia and didn't even realize how sick I was. I also have some asthma. I can also tell you that it probably wouldn't do any good to start in on your dad about his smoking, he won't quit until he is good and ready. I did quit a few times but always started back but have never gone this long being a non smoker and I love it and will not go back. I just wish I had done it sooner. I can say that it is so nice now to no longer cough.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
I think it's become his pacifier anyhow! A baby has a dummy, my father has a pipe, same meaning, he'll never change and sad to say I don't think he'll make old bones, he's 64, be a miracle if he reaches his 70s, but it's his life not mine, it just affects mine and my health, mums too, that kind of makes me angry at his selfishness, sad but true, dear friend.
1 person likes this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I do not live with anyone who coughs morning, noon and night but I live below someone who does. I live in a two family house and one of the ones that lives upstairs sounds as if she is coughing up a lung or other organs all day and night long. Her coughing not only drive me to distraction, it is so bad and loud that she has woken me many times. It does get on my nerves because if she would at least cut down on how much she smokes it would not be so bad. It the winter she always ends up getting bronchitis because she has to go outside to smoke. So her cough gets even worse. I have time and again asked her if she has seen a doctor about it and each time she tells me no I don't need to it is just a cough. When my dad was still a doctor he would bring me sample cough medicines to give to her in hopes that she would get the hint. It never worked though. There isn't anything else that I can do,she isn't a friend of family member. I wish you luck Wolfie because you are right there is no easy solution *hugs*
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 09
Sometimes my tolerance levels are low and I just want to scream, but it's very difficult, the gym is a great escape, for getting out the house and getting rid of my frustration, anger and boosting my tolerance levels back up, the gym is my miracle cure without it I'd have gone cuckoo years ago LOL Hugs returned, needed yours xx
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
4 Mar 09
A buff and tough Wolfie all because he needs to get out frustration..... Hmmmm
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Mar 09
You certainly can't change your father's habits if he isn't willing to change them. But you can probably do some things to help yourself, like getting out of there during waking hours, using earplugs or some kind of sleep aid at night. I use earplugs myself due to my husband's snoring since he doesn't seem to be willing or able to do anything about it.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 09
That is why I currently spend much of my time at the gym to escape! I have the earplugs too. I am working on helping myself I just have to be patient and that sadly is not one of my strengths.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4662)
• Australia
3 Mar 09
I empathise with you, Wolfie - my husband is a smoker, and he has this horrid cough which is getting worse and more noticeable by the day. He doesn't smoke in the house (I'd move out!), but he smokes on the back verandah, which is where we have our morning coffee and read the papers. The smoke drifting across the table makes me gag, and I find myself getting more and more annoyed as the years go by. There's no way he'll give up - in fact, he's smoking closer to two packets a day now than one - so it's just something I have to tolerate. If you ever find a solution for your Dad, PLEASE let me know!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 09
Even some solutions are impossible to find! My dad has the pipe in his mouth from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, and I for one find that very very sad!
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
24 Feb 09
Hello dear wolfie. I am so sorry for the current situation you have to face with. It is really so bad to have to live with someone who smokes a lot. Well, I don't smoke and hate it. I usually try to stay myself away from a smoker if I could. I think that your father could follow the doctor's advice, which is both to him and to you and your mom as well. Good luck to you finding a new job that could afford you to pay for the rent of an apartment.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
He says doctors are a waste of time, thank you my friend, I hope you are well.
2 people like this
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
22 Feb 09
Would having a machine to help the air help? An Ionizer or one of those air machines? Keeping a vent fan running may help! It is difficult because pipe smoke is strong. I know you can not open windows when it is cold. My other thought is fan to run helping cut the smoke? Best wish's my friend, because it is a difficult situation.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
22 Feb 09
Fortunately I spend most of my time in my bedroom but smoke has a habit of drifting and making everything smell, my mum always goes out, that is part of the reason why I plan to move out this year my friend!
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
25 Feb 09
Hello Son It is very frustrating to watch someone distroy themselves and others in the process...It is hard to change someone's mind when they have a certain thing in their head. Try to be calm and spend as much time as possible away from him and bottom line remember you love him. oxxoxoxoxox
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1578)
• United States
1 Mar 09
I guess I just don't understand people who smoke so bad that they can't stop coughing anymore yet they won't stop smoking. Something has got to motivate you to stop smoking at some point. That's too bad that he just isn't getting the hint about it. At the very least he can go into the bathroom and spit up in the toilet. Not in public around people like that. I find nothing manly about anyone who spits on the sidewalk or gutter while walking. Yuck!! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 09
Spitting in public or at home is totally unacceptable but that's just my viewpoint, there is no need, if you need to spit something out do it out of sight, into a tissue but not on the street and certainly not when others are trying to eat!
@hiddenwing (3721)
• China
25 Feb 09
Why not come to China, Japan or south Korea? As you know, they are in dire need of some awesome English teachers like you! First, they will pay you a lot! Also, many ansian girls like the British guys! I guess lots of young ansian woman would like to date a guy like you there! Then, it is a proud thing to be a superhero or something like that, isn't it? What's more, don't you think Ansian history is a mistery? It is cool to enrich the mind in another place, which is quite different! You just email some public school or language training school and send your resume! I am so sure they will realize that you are qualifed! If you are willing to take the chance, the view in another country is spectacular To be honesty, I am kind of familar with the United states while I know few about British culture! So, if I said something wrong, I wish you will never mind!