friend or crush

@aztcgirl (267)
United States
February 23, 2009 2:07pm CST
i have this guy who is 59 and im only 31 im married and he married but i m happily married and i wouldnt do anything to ruin my marriage, this guy is like bugging me and it calling me all the time and i try not to answer it andif i dont answer he shows up at my daughter school and my husband doesnt know anything about this. he keep saying he cares for me a lot and is in love with me i dont know how you can fall in love with someone who doesnt have the same feeling . it getting to the point where i had my friend take me to pick up my daughter at school. i might have to tell him to stop calling me also. im about to have my friend tell him to lemave me alone one of my friend works for the county and i can have her do soemthing regarding him on my behalf.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@hanasays (212)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Two words: Restraining Order. Him going to your daughter's school is going WAY too far. If someone did that, I'd get EXTREMELY angry (and worried about my admittedly imaginary daughter, as I have no kids). You need to tell your husband about this guy, too. Especially if this guy is scaring you.
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
24 Feb 09
i think i put a stop to it if it persist then ill get the police in vovlved and ill tell his wife and i could go further but im not going to jail
@hanasays (212)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I don't see how you'd go to jail for requesting a restraining order against the guy. It seems like you've got pretty good grounds for it. Hopefully he'll leave you alone, though.
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
26 Feb 09
i mean by having something happene to him not legally. he stopped calling but now he iming me and wanting to talk all the time and im tring to advoid him. i talk to soemone who said i can get the police invovlved without my husband knowing, but my husband works for the governmnet so i nned to watch what i do with this guy. and wanting to talk in person and when i do see him he doesnt say anything . yeah i think he stalking me and an i dnthink he is realizing what he is doing and one thing about me is you dont threaten me to get me to talk that will make me do soemthing that isnt legal.
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
23 Feb 09
Wow, how did it all go off the rails and get out of hand so fast? I think you need to tell your husband about it so he is aware of what is going on. If he finds out from someone else or is not aware of the complete situation, that might start more problems for you. Like what is stopping this guy from sending flowers to your house or something and what would your husband do/say if that happened? You don't want your husband to think you are having an affair. I would definitely talk to the guy and say "this stops now, or I WILL talk to your wife about it" or something along those lines. He sounds like a bit of a stalker. Why should he make you feel this way, like you can't even go alone to pick up your daughter? You need to nip this in the bud right away before it gets out of hand!
• India
23 Feb 09
yup....
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
23 Feb 09
honestly i really dont know, he started by leaving a note on my car while i was at a assembly for my daughter. i didnt know he felkt like that toward me until later. he called me two time fri and then when i didnt answer that when he shows up at my daughter school to see if im ok. we went out for lunch once or twice of course im not going to turn down a free lunch but then he jsut wanted to see me all the time and i tried backing off and it started to get worse and i would turn down invutes for lunch and try to leave from place like i was in a hurry. he say he wont do anythign but im about to tell his broyhther and find out more in fo about him i tried to look up his criminmal record but i didnt see anything.
• India
23 Feb 09
well.. u can hav a cup of coffee wid him and judge by his talks wht he is upto?? some times it cud b a love at first sight or may b infatuation .. or u can call him for coffee and get him busted with cops or ur frndzz.. choice is urs.. i ll suggest u tak to him once..
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
23 Feb 09
That is a bad idea my friend. He will definitely get the wrong idea if she has coffee with him. She wants his unwanted attention to stop, not to encourage him!
• India
23 Feb 09
then follow the later idea.. get him beat.. i bet he wont come bck lukin for her ..???
@koalatbs (2230)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Hi aztcgirl - Oh my goodness, that must be kinda scary & creepy for you to deal with this guy. He obviously is a little obsessed with you. I'd definitely tell him to stop or have your friend tell him if you don't feel like you can approach him. It must be really scary because of your daughter too. I think you should tell your husband too because if this guy ever said anything to your husband then he might make you look guilty of having an affair with him. If you tell your husband now and make him aware of the situation then he will know you aren't trying to hide anything from him. I know it is awkward and frustrating not knowing exactly what you should do but hopefully if you let this guy know straight up that you are not interested then maybe he'll back off. I hope so. Good luck and be careful. Let us know what happens, ok? I hope you are having a good day! Oh, I just noticed that you posted this discussion about a month ago. So, has anything happened? Is he leaving you alone now? Jill
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
26 Mar 09
yeah it was, it got to the point where i told one of my friend sand he was going to the school with me and having uncoverpoilce going to the school too,to this day they still do, last thurs the guy came by the school leaning really hard on my car door and deep in side it kinda scared me and he said he would leave me alone and then turns around and calls me 3 times after i had told him not to call me. so first he not listening to what im telling him, so in response he not respeccting me. he try to threaten me saying he was going to tell my hsuband and i told him you domt threaten me with b.s that will get you hurt or killed and he keept tring to kiss my butt and that wasnt working then i could of swore i saw his car in my neighborhood an started to get a bad feeling so i was tring to back away, so after last thurs and calling me 3 time the next fri i had had it. i called the police and they told him not to contact me or go to my residence or be at the school he has no reason to be there and if he dont then additional criminal charges will be brought upon him. so right now i think he keeping low but i dont know how long that will last. im watching out and so are my friends, and so im just waiting for him to slip up. and hopefully he got the hint to leave me alone.
• United States
24 Feb 09
Sounds like this guy is a little crazy. I would suggest getting a restraining order against him but tht might make him even more persistent maybe even scary. Whta you should do is sit down with him and explain that you are not interested in oursueing any kind of relationship with him.
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
24 Feb 09
i had a discussion with him today and told him to stop calling me and i guess the way i said it he took it the wrong way and threaten to tell my husband and i thought i had mislead him nd he said no but he siad because we had soem thing i nn common he thought there was aconnection and he know that im not interested in him . i told him not to call any more because of my husband and ill see what happen after this and see if he still show up at my daughter school to see me and if he does ill have my friend put him in check because i cant do a restarining order because of my hsuband security clearance. i told him to back off and let me have my space and told him also that i m not the type to be telling my feeling if soemthing is bothering me let it be dont push me to find out what it is. he started to cry on the phone i was like omg but if this perstisit i will tell his wife and have the school fire him from his job if he wants to play. i dont ahve a job so i cant get fired
@rmuxagirl (7561)
• United States
23 Feb 09
oh my gosh he sounds like a stalker! Tell him to stop calling you, that you are happily married and dont feel the same way towards him. He shoud by no means be going to your daughter;s school. If he keeps it up after youtelling him to leave you be, then have something more drastic done, like restraining order.
@aztcgirl (267)
• United States
23 Feb 09
i told him to stop before and he stopped for a while then started up again and i didnt respond to any of it i just kept saying thanks.. but i ended having one of my friend go with me to pick up my daughter and she a big girl and she scared him off he took off and my friend said he sounds like a stalker too. he used to pick up his grandson at my daughter school the year prior and he know i have no feelings for him and i tell him m like it is. he say he respect my marriage but right now i m not thiking he does because he gave me flowers for valentines day which i threw out. i have told him to back off he back off for a while then starts up again so i might just have to tell my husband i told him i was being watched and i have to watch what im doing.
@heehaw78 (566)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 09
just tell him that you are not interested in any relationship with him but only friends.If still does not listen, maybe you need to tell you husband about it. you need to protect your marriage and your family.
@manleyjoe (1599)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Don't walk, run to the police and report this. It is stalking and it is illegal! Get him off the street before he kills you or someone else he might think of stalking.
• United States
24 Feb 09
I wouldn't let it get to much further, he's stalking you! Not someone you want showing up at your daughters school either. I would let your husband know whats going on, he needs to know in case this guys gets to out of control! I would cut all communication with him, change your phone or cell number and make it clear to him he is no longer welcome.
23 Feb 09
wow that is not love it is a crush gone wrong. and now he whats to ruin your life does he really think he is going to get anywere acting like that. dont say you migth have to tell him to stop. tell him and make sure he knows you dont what to take to him or have anything to do with him. he is out of order and you did to tell you husband about this rigth away. i mean it will be better if he knows and you can get help. also what if he finds out this has been happening behind his back. how would you feel if it was the otheir way round and he did not tell you