would you stay with someone how was controling

February 23, 2009 2:28pm CST
i have a friend who is having a hard time with her boyfriend at the moment. she told me she can not do anything with out telling him. she feels cut of from her friend. if she does go out he calles and calles untill she picks up, he checks up on her, even when she has told him were she is. she is not happy but feels trap into the relationship. any ides what to tell her am at a lost of things to say to her.
2 responses
• United States
24 Feb 09
I have so much experience with that type of relationship. I don't know how old she is but if she is grown, you need to remind her that the only people she needs to let have any say in what she does is her parents and her god. It starts off controlling and the guy will always say something like 'I love you and I only want the best for you' then the next thing you know he is putting his hands on her. She needs to know that he is not the right kind of guy she needs to be bothered with. You can also tell her that there are more guys in the world who will let her have a thought on her own. He is going to try to stop her from seeing her friends and family and once he does that next comes the mental abuse. She has to leave him and you as her friend have to help her.
24 Feb 09
yes that is the thing he is very charming and knows the rigth words to say to her. i think she whats that from someone, to feel loved. he knows this and thinks he can control her. one day i think he will put his hand to her.
• United States
25 Feb 09
I swear I had the same problem. I would put up with all types of controlling, possessive behavior from my ex and accepted the things he would say. You need to make sure she realizes that he is just saying those things so she won't leave him. She needs to understand that she does not need a man to feel loved. She has family (I hope) and friends and a life so she does not have to take that crap from him. I hate to say it, but the physical abuse is next on the agenda for him unless you all get together and get rid of him..she is in my prayers...
@rmuxagirl (7569)
• United States
23 Feb 09
She should get out as soon as she can. She doesnt need to be in a relationship like that. I ended a relationship that was controlling because I couldn't stand not being able to live my life and be able to go out with my friends.
23 Feb 09
i know she should but what can i say. i know i use to be with someone who did not like my friends. but i think am a strong woman who dones not take stuff like that from anyone