Controversial Topics

@worldwise1 (14890)
United States
February 23, 2009 3:10pm CST
I will no longer be responding to discussions dealing with controversial topics! It seems that my response to one of these loaded discussions has unleashed a barrage of follow-up comments which I have been receiving for several days in my email. I don't know why it is that some people can't move on once they've said what they wanted to say, but it seems that some cannot. I mean, why beat a dead horse? These things will eventually take on a life of their own. I'm not going to change my views and I know that the others involved in the discussion are not likely to change their views so I give up. Has this ever happened to you when you participated in a discussion here on myLot?
8 people like this
22 responses
@wolfie34 (26877)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 09
I steer clear of them my friend, they are just not worth the hassle, aggravation, abuse and the follow up responses! They are just red rag to a bull, why put yourself through all that abuse, it's just not worth it, it's like people are looking for a fight with others, and if they don't agree with you it gives them the perfect opportunity to attack. I only responded to one or two controversial subjects in the past and I got my fingers burnt and I swore never again, why put yourself in the firing line?
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Absolutely, wolfie! Suffice it to say that I won't be going down that slippery slope again.
2 people like this
@cupkitties (6808)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I have not yet received any inbox messages about things like that. I've seen mine in the form of someone rating me down because the gods forbid that I'm not some machine lacking an view all my own or someone can't handle the truth.
4 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I had that happen to me one time since I've been here on myLot, cupkitties, and it wasn't a nice feeling at all.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25006)
• Australia
26 Feb 09
What a shame ww. I saw a discussion full of vitriol this morning. It was disgraceful how this responder was attacked and a new user as well. I could not believe how more and more members came along to lambaste this person. Someone even invented something to accuse him of...so ridiculous. I must say, it's the same people I see doing this all the time and they are usually doing to that user what they are accusing them off. How on earth did folk get hold of your email address...has someone been handing it round? Oh dear. I don't blame you for being upset but I would simply ignore these idiots. There is no way you can be abused for your part on this site. You are always civilised and even gentle in your approach to things ...a real lady if you don't mind me saying.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ms Tickle!I get notified by email whenever there is follow-up to a comment that I've made. Usually it's a positive thing, but not in this case.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25006)
• Australia
28 Feb 09
Thank you for best response my friend.
@xParanoiax (7005)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I've mostly decided to stick to controversial topics only for so long until my point is obvious to the casual reader. I don't really care that some troll hates my -- and everyone else's -- guts and wants to insult me and ignore my points, but I do care about being coherant and understandable, sometimes about the words themselves since they express my sincerest beliefs. I always hope to resolve an argument or conflict, but long have I accepted that this is not always possible and I should take my graceful exit once the opportunity arrives. I still do controversial topics, because I'm not terribly interested in all of the regular topics. A debate can be fun. I just know when to leave and when it's time to hide from mylot for a few days, xD
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
How sneaky of you, xParanoiax!I think that I will have to follow your example from now on because I also like a really good debate.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 09
lol, thanks. Glad I could be helpful, worldwise!
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
24 Feb 09
No I usually escape it somehow. But I don't respond to a lot of controversial ones that are not posted by my good friends so maybe thats why I escape.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
It really gets to me, Aurone, that these people live to use inflammatory words that can hurt someone. They do this knowing full well that they are going to get a rise out of you, so it is best to end it as soon as you suspect something like this.
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I agree.
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
hell!o! It is really hard when things heat ups. You are here to enjoy posting and sharing your opinions, thoughts, and views. Sometimes there are just people who want more than that. even to the point of starting a flame. Anyway, your decision is good. to just go and leave and let them believe what they want. take care
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
It can be hard to walk away, amethyst, when you know the person is just trying to bait you, but it is the best thing to do in such a situation.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
yes, but just control the emotions. take care
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I don't blame you. I tend to avoid controversial topics as I've seen people get ugly in these kind of discussions before. There's usually name calling and whatnot. It's not necessary for these rude an ugly comments, but it doesn't stop some people from posting them. It's okay to disagree with people, but we should do it in a civilized manner, especially when it's out there for everyone to see.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
It's too bad, sacmom, when people don't know how to disagree in a civilized way. Name calling is so unfair.
2 people like this
@winterose (39929)
• Canada
24 Feb 09
yes one person who ended up being a troll and that is it though, I stopped responding and they stopped except my troll who every now and then follows me around.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Well, I have learned my lesson, winterose, and I will be more careful to avoid being drawn into the situation in the future.
1 person likes this
@mariposaman (2968)
• Canada
24 Feb 09
It is unfortunate that there are these conflicts which make people avoid controversial topics. The way things are going if everyone avoids controversial topics, there will only be bland ones left. You are not the first one to express this experience and sentiment. I am lucky so far I have not been attacked (well only once a while back and I let that go). I think the only way to deal with those kind of people is to ignore them instead of starting a flame war.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Yopu are right, mariposaman, and I refuse to stoop to their level.
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1485)
• United States
24 Feb 09
It has happened to me a few times. When people are asking for advice, you offer how you would handle it, or make references to a similar experience and they take your words out of context and then bombard you with harsh words. It bothers me because this is a discussion group, you have the right to your own opinion, and you may be the only one that doesn't agree with the fellow posters, and for that you're in the wrong. My husband is on here as well, and he's been verbally attacked by alot of posters for making a very truthful statement with what facts/details were posted in a discussion, but everyone thought he was being insenstive and harsh with his words, but he wasn't. Even after he read threw all the other post, others said the same thing but people felt they needed to jump his case because he was the only man who voiced an opinion. As the discussion progressed, he finally stated he wasn't appologing for his words, but appologized to the orginally poster of the discussion for how things got out of hand, and still they are attacking him, and he's just left it alone, but they want him to come back and start more crap by still calling him harsh words, and so on. It's wrong, I like mylot, and have had fun with it, but when it comes to stuff like that, it's childish, so what if your opinion differs, accept that everyone has their own view, move on and get over it. The ones I have encountered were ones that can dish out harsh words, but when you call them out on it, they wanna get all their friends to gang up on you because they can't handle it themselves. If people can't take the heat then they don't need to be posting discussions that's gonna draw controversial statements. Simple as that. Everyday we encounter people that don't agree with us, but when your standing face to face with someone most will just say ok, i don't agree, and leave it at that and move on, but when your hiding behind a computer it's so easy to just speak harsh words because you don't have to face this person. I for the most part have stayed away from these topics, especially ones that are posted in politics.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Misery obviously does love company, Jae, and I agree with your point that they will draw their friends into the discussion so that they can gang up on you.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
23 Feb 09
Yes it has in the past and that is part of the reason. I respond but not as much as I once did. I got tired of a discussion I started. As a matter of fact I don't think I have started to many discussions since that one.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Some members just don't know when to give it a rest, shaun.
• United States
23 Feb 09
that is totally understandable I have been in that situation many times myself its best to just avoid controversy but I have to ask what exactly is considered controversial topics anymore i have been in discussions that seem safe and had them turn real ugly real quick it seems that no topic is safe from controversy what are we to do when nothing is safe anymore?
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I totally agree, wonttakelong! I once posted a discussion on my local weather and one responder was so rude that I felt I had to report them. I never knew anyone could get so bent out of shape over weather!
• United States
27 Feb 09
It is a sad thing but it happens often. I have a very good friend and he was visciously attacked because he had a different opinion than that of his attacker. She basically tried to rip into him and not only that but she asked other people to rate him negatively. That's when it really bothered me, it's wrong to attack someone on a personal level just because they don't agree with you, but it's so much worse to try to get people to gang up on them because you don't agree with them. I actually posted under her last lambasting and explained how I felt it was wrong to attack "newbies" just because they aren't kissing your butt and going along with everything you say just because you have more posts than they do. Then I reported her for abuse, I don't know if it helped but I felt compelled to stand up to a cyber bully. I figure I'm not a child anymore and I'm not going to take a bunch of crap off a bully
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25006)
• Australia
28 Feb 09
The weird thing is April...these people don't think they are doing anything wrong. If asked, they will assure you in no uncertain terms that they are not doing anything wrong and always follow the Guidelines.
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
24 Feb 09
Yes, it did happen to me. I responded to a discussion about irresponsible dog owners and ended up being called one myself. I really didn't need that, just because the stupid dog lives with me, I had no choice in getting the dog, it was one of those things, my husband "had to have it". Anyway, I ended up feeling a little bit disgruntled about the whole thing, but I let that person have their say and unload some nastiness on me and then I chose not to respond and to instead let them have their "gratification" for unloading on me.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
You probably did the right thing, daneg, because the back-and-forth only serves to demean you.
1 person likes this
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
24 Feb 09
That's why I pick and choose the discussions to respond to. If I do participate in a controversial one, I select my words very carefully. Many people get angry when you express an opinion different from theirs. I don't really pay attention, but it would upset me if I received nasty comments all based on the fact that someone has a different opinion. We are all entitled to have one last time I checked.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I believe, di, that certain people begin these discussions with one specific goal in mind - to elicit a response from those who disagree with them, thereby starting a flaming war. Yes, we are all entitled to our opinions.
1 person likes this
@sampotle (36)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I love controversial topics! I love arguing with people; pointing out flaws in their logic, scrutinizing their motivations and philosophies, it puts me in such a good mood. I made some great points (in my opinion anyway) in a thread on the topic of parenting and i am getting no rebuttals! I wish people would respond and argue, its an exercise in thinking and i love to tell ignorant people when they are wrong.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
The thing here, sampotle, is you must be dealing with intelligent people. Most often these people have very little intelligence and become really irate so they can justify stooping to name-calling, etc.
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
I've had my fair share of that in here. I remember that I started a thread then there is this member who keep on bugging me. Eventually we decided to end it up as we don't agree on anything so it just stop but it is annoying that a simple post would make this person so intensely attached to it.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I suppose, rsa, that what it all boils down to is that someone has to use some common sense in situations like this.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I watch what I say unless I feel very strongly. I have seen so many raked over the coals. If I feel it isn't worth it, I just go past them.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I am not fond of getting into these disputes, Thoroughrob, but some things I cannot stand by and let go unanswered.
@mathss1 (1182)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Participation in such discussions is really important i wrote 500comments on them Lol Njoy
2 people like this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
24 Feb 09
worldwise1, I am just wondering when was there a discussion which is not controversial. I think all being fair every discussion will be multifaceted and there will be many POV. Just don't be intimidated to air yours. I would never doubt a single member that has never has had this experience of a barrage of comments and responses, even I myself am not spared. However, I am just surprised that yours is even more vindictive to the extent that they actually go all the way to emailing you. This is just really unethical and outright rude. I would really encourage you here not to give up and remind yourself that everyone is entitled to express and speak their mind out. Just put the unpleasant experience aside and remain active. Don't let these misdemeanors be a deterrent to your good works and words as in the words of Jessamyn West: "Writing is a solitary occupation. Family, friends, and society are the natural enemies of the writer. He/She must be alone, uninterrupted, and slightly savage if he/she is to sustain and complete an undertaking." Take care.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Thanks for the positive thoughts, skysuccess!
1 person likes this