Is my friend being taken for granted??
February 25, 2009 3:52pm CST
My daughter dances at an academy in the next town to where I live. There are several of us who live in the same town but not near each however my friend always brings my daughter home on Wednesday & Friday nights as her daughter dances too. I always offer to take or bring the girls back to give her a break but she always refuses. She also picks up & drops off another girl, her mother works days & her father nights and they share 1 car. Despite this they could easily drop & pick up their daughter themselves however make out this is too difficult hence why my friend picks/drops her off, this started approximately 3 years ago. The 3 girls have all been lucky enough to appear in semi professional panto for the last couple of years and the story is the same for the other girl. Her mother stating she can't drop her off etc etc. Her mother however did the matroning for the girls during panto and made my friend wait outside until she was finished. In addtion to this the girls also have one off workshops where they will have someone come in to teach them about something about another style of dance etc. They had one last week while we were away & again the mother of the other child stated she couldn't do the pick/drop. My friend agreed to collect and return the girl. She collected her in the morning and confirmed the afternoon arrangements with her father. Upon collecting her daughter and the girl, her daughter came out and 15 minutes later she was still waiting for the other girl. My friend went in and asked to speak with the girl who stated she was going to someone elses house and did not need to be returned. No one had told my friend and she asked the parents who got really angry. My friend was more worried about something happening to the girl and her being responsible as she was supposed to have the girl in her care. The girls mother has been quite nasty treating my friend like she is their daughters driver and not a friend. My friend got upset over it at my house and was in floods of tears. I hate seeing her like this as she is a very caring and giving person, she would give you her last penny if you asked for it x I think this woman is taking full advantage of my friends kindess! I know I've waffled a little bit but it's really upset me!! Have you ever experienced something similar yourself or has your friend?? If so what advice would you give?? Thanks MrsL x
• United States
25 Feb 09
Yeah, unfortunatly I have had issues with such things. It hurts and bothers me. I go out of my way to do something nice because I want to, and then when something changes I am the last to know about it, but when I make a deal out of it, I am in the wrong. I think in your friends case, since the parents got angry over her being caring and worrysome, then that would be the end of her genersosity of picking up the girl, looking after her and caring for her. She didn't' over step, she showed that she cared for the well being of this child, and she should have been informed one way or another by the parent that this girl was going else where and wouldn't be needing a ride. This girl could have been taken by someone else and then the blame would of been on your friend. If the parents can see she was doing what she needed to do, then it's time for them to step up and start managing the girls ride to and from dance. I can understand your friend feeling bad about it but just encourage her she did the right thing. She was the adult. Good for her!
25 Feb 09
What you described in the first part of your response is almost exactly what my friend said to me tonight! I have tried to encourage her but she is under pressure with other things and doesn't need the confrontation the other woman is trying on. I think she felt responsible for what could of happened x Thanks for the response, it is very much appreciated MrsL x
• United States
26 Feb 09
It seems to me that your friend is being taken advatage of. If I were in her shoes, I'd probably have to stop taking the other girl for a while so her parents could see how much it takes to be the transport for the child. Running a child to and from an activity takes lots of time and in all honesty is a hassle. It seems that your friend is undervalued by the other parent. I think she is lucky to have a friend who cares as much for her as you do. All you can really do is stand by her and help her get through this situation. I wish her the best. She's in a tough spot, I think she should stand up for herself, but in situations like this, it's hard to do and say the right things.