Are Boys allowed to Cry?

Australia
February 25, 2009 5:45pm CST
What is your opinion on this? A few parents I know shout, tease or punish their boys if they are so much as wanting to cry ... It seems that some parents still believe the old saying "boys should be tough, boys dont cry" etc.. But is this right? I dont quite agree with it. Sure parents need to teach their kids not to cry easily as that will make them spoilt and will not shape up their character for later years. But those children who were taught like this would usually ended up being a bit un sensitive, so parents needs to be able to balance things in this. Since I dont have kids yet, I would love to hear your opinion on this, especially parents :)
6 people like this
34 responses
• China
26 Feb 09
Are human being allowed to cry? I thimk the answer is yes! So boys or even men are allowd to cry. As a song sang by Andy Lau "?????????".Human being has flesh and blood. Why the cry is the patent of girels? Sometimes a man will be more charming when his eyes are full of tears. Of couse I don't mean boys are alowed to cry freely:) Man is man. Man does not easily shed tears.
• China
26 Feb 09
The song's name is "Man, Don't feel guilty for crying"
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I have always told my boys that it is okay to cry whe they are hurt, sad, or just need to let it out. My husband feels that boys shouldn't cry. In my opinion, a well-rounded self-secure male is not only able to handle difficult situations, but also to show emotion up to and including crying. I would rather see my husband cry because he is hurt than for him to hol dit all in. I think that it takes more of a man to cry than it does to hold it all in. My boys cry, but when they are crying just because I told them they have a chore to do, or they cna't go play yet, something like that, then, o do tell them that I don't feel it is a good reason to cry. I want them to grow up knowing when it is okay to cry, and when it is not appropriate. A common phrase in my house is, "You won't get what you want through tears."
1 person likes this
• Australia
26 Feb 09
Hi Lyn thanks for sharing with us :) I agree with you...a guy who are able to cry and get in touch with their sensitive side are more man than a guy who are afraid to show emotions :)
• Australia
26 Feb 09
Hi luckydolphin98!!! Well, everyone has their share of pain and hardships in life... even as a little kid... we cry if our parents shouts at us... or even if we didn't get what kind of candy we want, right? As mature individuals.... in my opinion, men are allowed to cry. I am a guy myself. I cry to let out some emotions that i don't want to keep inside of me. Instead of being mad and it may lead to a destructive attitude... I tend to cry in my own room and let it out... then after that... i am myself again. As a kid i was also told by my dad not be a cry baby... since i was the only boy in the family.. my dad taught me to be tough... as i grow older and i talk to my dad, he told me that men are ok to cry. that assurance from a father gave me the freedom to let it out...
• Australia
26 Feb 09
Hi kobe thanks for the response :) Thank God youve got that assurance from your dad...
@rin888 (75)
• Australia
26 Feb 09
i do think boys are allowed to cry, i also think if they are taught from a young age not to cry they will grow up into men that can not show there emotions, and what kind of married life would that be for them? i have a young son and i wont ever tease him for crying, and if someone else did, well lets just say i wouldn't take it very nicely
1 person likes this
• Australia
26 Feb 09
Thanks rin888 Im sure your boy would grow up to be a nice adult :)
• Mexico
26 Feb 09
I think we are still too far from undertanding that men and women although feel different, they still have feelings and if women are allowed to express them, why shouldn't men also be capable of doing the same!!
• Australia
26 Feb 09
But in reality, many still feel that the way women and man express their feelings are different isnt it? Like for man to express feeling is to act all tough and macho and stuff... whereas woman express her feelings by well... talking, crying.. etc2 ?
• United States
25 Feb 09
well everyone cries, I think that Crying for a reason and temper tantrums are a bit different and should be treated as such. So crying is OK in certain situations. take care, Francisco
1 person likes this
• Australia
26 Feb 09
thanks francisco ... yes I agree there are difference between crying because you are compassionate... or just crying because of your temper :)
• China
2 Mar 09
If I am a father I wish my son is a strong-minded man.He can cry ,but I don't want him to cry anymore. I think every perent wish their chidren to be the cream pf the crop, but not ever child can become what they wish to do ....
1 person likes this
@diansinta (7551)
• Indonesia
1 Mar 09
Hi there luckydolphin98, I don't think it's fair. Adult mind doesn't measured by cry or not the boy is, but by how this boy dealing with problem and realized whats right and wrong. Too much teasing will caused lack of self confidence in this boy future.
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Feb 09
What's wrong with boys crying? Really, it's better for them to cry than to bottle up their emotions.
1 person likes this
@reanne (83)
26 Feb 09
well, i do believe that everyone has their own freedom.. boys who cry doesn't necessarily mean that they are weak or something.. it's juz the way they express their emotions...
• United States
26 Feb 09
if i had a son, i would teach him that it's okay to cry. my father did that to my little brother, he would tell him to sattle up and be a soilder, my brother was four... i don't understamd why men or boys are expected not to cry, and why it's such femenin thing to do, i think it's perfectlly fine and healthy.
@riskysim (34)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Yes boys should be allowed to cry! Crying is nothing to be ashamed of, it just shows how sensative a boy is! Any child who tries to bottle up there fealings only winds up lashing out at the one's they love over time. Never scald a boy for crying, allow them to, support them, understand whats wrong and try to help!
1 person likes this
@delkar (1716)
• Romania
26 Feb 09
well, i`m a boy, and i`m having 21 right now. When i was younger, i was crying easily, but not, i must find a really good reason to cry, but it`s quite a good thing. Parents should talk to their kids, and they would let their kids to play with others . I think that would solve all the problems with your child.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
26 Feb 09
A few parents I know shout, tease or punish their boys if they are so much as wanting to cry My kids dad was HORRIBLE for this sort of thing..to the point that it actually caused damage (mentally and emotionally) to our son and he didnt want to go see his father any more..I even had to go as far as get a lawyer....My brother is also SOMEWHAT like that..he has it in his head things like boys wear blue, play with trucks, fight, and dont cry and girls cry all the time, should be barefoot and pregnant and never fight or do "mans work" as he puts it.... I personally have ZERO tolerance for that sort of mindset..
1 person likes this
@ddfreedie (690)
• India
26 Feb 09
u know crying is just the extreme step of sadness...one who is crying is said to be in the last stage of sorrow...even men do have sorrows which they cannot digest...so who ever it might be...cry aloud..itll make u free...
1 person likes this
@martinha (631)
• Portugal
26 Feb 09
Of course they are. They are allowed and they should cry whenever they feel they need to do it. They are like other people and it's stupid to assume they won't cry and show their fragilities just because they are boys. Why should boys be tought? They are normal people, with problems like everyone else, they suffer like other people so it's normal that they need to cry. I wouldn't like a friend of mine to avoid crying just because the society says he shouldn't cry. I would prefer if he cried or not because it's how he feels and not because it's what people say it's right or wrong.
1 person likes this
26 Feb 09
I bring my boys up that showing emotion is good. If they need a good cry I comfort rather than tell them off. In society they learn that crying is not allowed for boys and they have adopted the atitude that they will maintain a "stiff upper lip" in public but in their own home they express themselves freely!
1 person likes this
• China
26 Feb 09
Boys should be allow to cry, it is their right and it should not be blamed about.Boys are human, they have emotion either, sometimes the emotion of boys even more exquisite than that of girls. Crying does not prove that a boy is not man enough. There must be some emotion that need to be teared out when someone want to cry, so just let it to be expressed naturally.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Feb 09
Hi luckydolphin98, I do agree that boys should be tough enough but that itself wont be the reason to tell that boys shouldn't cry. I do oppose the people or parents who beat there childrens when they cry. We too are humanbeings & we too will be having feelings in our life where our heart get heavy filled with one or other pain & which makes us to cry. I am not a parent for any child but as a humanbeing & i am still bacholer & i am living with my parents i am giving out my openion
1 person likes this
• China
26 Feb 09
Boys should be allowed to cry. I think so. Just like some Mylotters said, it is human right! But when you meet troubles, the first posture you should have is smiling. Crying is useless. But when you feel sad, crying is one of the best ways to express your feeling. Right? And perhaps sometimes crying would make you a better man .
1 person likes this