Way too late for the kids!!

@4ofmyown (1119)
United States
February 27, 2009 8:18am CST
My 3 boys are in Boy Scouts...actually, they are Webelos, which is right be fore Boy Scouts. Their meeting is every Thursday evening at 6:30. Last night they had their derby car race. We did not leave until about 9:15 so we didn't get home until almost 10 last night. Luckily my kids did not have school today. I know it doesn't really sound like a big deal but this happens all the time. I just think it is way too late to have the kids out even if it is for something that is supposed to be fun for them. I am actually on the Committee so when we have a our next "meeting" I could say something but I don't want to sound like the pain in the butt parent that is complaining. Part of the problem is that alot of them live very close to where the meeting is held and I don't....but even so, if we lived right around the corner ending a meeting for 8 and 9 year olds after 9 p.m. is too late. What do you think? Would you say something to the other parents? And how would you say it?
2 people like this
14 responses
• United States
28 Feb 09
Speaking as a scout mom and a girl scout leader for over 12 yrs (our youngest is a senior scout this year) i have to say there is probably one best answer. its the simplest and the most complicated but i believe its the best. if you cannot find another troop that matches your hours better, BECOME the troop leader. and before you start saying i dont know how or i dont have the time. please remember a couple of things. YOU dont NEED to have experience (They train you and with LOTS of support. and MORE importantly what most people dont realize right away is that as the leader YOU dictate the schedule and the 'program' you provide. the scouts match your schedule not the other way around and it can be amazingly easy. try it and be delighted proud mom of two senior girl scouts. and VERY proud to have been a leader with my husband which made it very much a FAMILY affair. it was wonderful and although am not an active leader at present am still involved with the gs community where i live. take care and good luck rj is so cal
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Thank you for your response. It is funny because alot of people have told me that I should start a troop. And, of course, the answers I have are all the ones you listed. I am considering looking into it.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 09
I truly hope you do :o) Even when its driving you bonkers its a kick!! and with the internet you have shoulders to cry on, advice to be asked for - ideas on meeting, its an endless resource as well as your local councils... i think you will find the first couple of months mind boggling then all of a sudden you WILL do the "why on earth was i worried about this!!!" LOL if you would like ANY pointers i would be glad to offer my own experiences if they would be of help go for it- its a great time in your life and your kid's lives rj
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Why don't you see if someone has a troop that has meeting on the weekends during the day time. That sounds like a solution. Or you might have to give the boys a nap before the next meeting, so they won't be tired at school, or leave early. We had our children in 4-H when they were younger and through their teen years, finding a group that had day meetings on a weekend was hard. But other parents were looking for the same thing so they opened one up for Saturday mornings. You could always become a Den leader and schedule your meetings for days.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
The only reason we are in this pack is because alot of their friends from school are in it. I have thought about starting my own Girl Scout troop for that very reason. There isn't one around here and my daughter really wants to join. I just don't think I could handle another responsibility like that.
• United States
28 Feb 09
I think you would do good as a Girl Scout Leader. When I was in Girl Scouts our leader would have meetings right after school, at the school and sometimes we would walk over to her home. Other times we would meet on a Saturday. Maybe you can get another Mom to go in with you so all the work is not on just your shoulders. Good luck to you. Hugs MaryLynn
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I think that is too late also. My daughter is 8 and she had basketball practice on Monday nights from 7:30-8:30. By the time we got home it was 9 and then she still had to shower. She is usually in bed by 8:30. I mentioned to the coach that it seemed like a late practice for 3rd graders, but that was the only slot he could make to coach so we were stuck. I think it wouldn't hurt to mention maybe starting a little earlier or making sure that they stop earlier.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I just don't get why the younger kids don't get the earlier slots for sports and such. I think I will say something next week. And my husband said next time when it gets to be that late to just leave and explain to them why. Thanks
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
27 Feb 09
That is a good idea your husband has. Just tell your kids before you go to scouts that you will be leaving at whatever time so they don't get upset about it. If it runs late just excuse your kids and get going home. A late night out usually causes grumpy kids the next day.
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
27 Feb 09
And I thought it was bad that my 11 year old's soccer practices didn't end until 8:30! Honestly though, yours is a no win situation. So your meetings and such are at about 7pm, right? So you have dinner around 5 or 5:30, have time to get that cleaned up and get the kids ready and head out. But then you have to deal with being out too late. So what if you move the meetings up to 6? Well, working parents don't have time to do dinner before that, so they'll end up making the kids wait until after the meeting, so they're still going to bed too late. And even if you aren't a working parent, what time would you need to do dinner in order to have it picked up and be ready to go at the correct time? Like 4ish? Well everyone will still be hungry after, so you either have to spend money on fast food or give everyone a snack before bed! See what I mean? No win situation really. If boyscouts is only 1 night a week, then I personally would probably just deal with the hours. If it's more than one night a week, I'd probably ask that we cut back to 1 weeknight and do whatever else we have to do on weekends so the kids have their time to rest up for school. Even if there isn't school, many parents work and the kids have to go to sitters in the morning, so they're still tired, etc.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
You are so right. I was just talking to my husband about it( he is home his morning...yeah) and he said the same thing. I plan for the fact that we have something to do that evening. We get all homework done right away, I plan an easy dinner and I get all their scout stuff ready the night before. It stinks because I feel like we are getting screwed because I am somewhat organized. You are right about starting the meetings at that time because of people working and I have heard alot of them say they still have to go home a feed the kids. There was on evening when I knew we were going to be running short on time so I packed them sandwiches, snacks and drinks. And, I made sure I had an easy snack at home for them to eat when we did get home. In the long run it is the kids that suffer because they are so tired. So you think it would be a bad idea to say something?
• United States
27 Feb 09
I just think somehow no matter what you do, someone will be inconvenienced someway. Like the working parents can't get there any sooner, etc. Like I said, if you have 1 meeting per week, then I'd just deal with it, but if there are like 2 meetings per week maybe you can suggest having one on a Friday or Saturday.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I understand you not wanting to cause an issue, but not getting home until 10 or after on a school night wouldn't be for me. We have done it on occasion, but as you mentioned it happens all the time in your case, I would have to say something. I would just generally bring it up while talking with other parents and get their feel and take on it before going to the board about it. I think Children's activities should be done by 8, no later. But I also see the other side of things. Parents work later and sometimes dont get home til 5, or 6 so they start these activities later in the evenings so the parents that have to work can attend.
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
27 Feb 09
Yes, I do belive that this is a part of it - since parents need to be at some activities - they have to get home from work first!
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
That is exactly the case here. They don't start the meetings until 6:30 because of people working and wanting to get dinner done before hand. I do understand but why sign up for something that does not fit your schedule. When we signed up for this we were told that the meetings would be once a week for one hour...that is not happening. I think I will bring it up at the next meeting.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
28 Feb 09
I agree thatis too late for a kid to be out an about. I would say something. I would think that you are probably not alone in feeling that way. Ask around to the other parents and try to find out if there is a valid reason for everything being so late at night. Mayb, all of you could agree on an earlier time, or maybe weekend meetings instead. If you approach it in a way that makes it seem more like you are curious about there views on it, you may get a better, more honest response than you would if you approached it as if it were a real problem, even though I think it is. You may find out that others wish it were earlier too.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
At the next meeting for just the parents I think I will bring it up and see what they think. I can't imagine out of all the parents that I am the only one that feels this way, especially since alot of the children are younger than mine by a year or 2.
• United States
28 Feb 09
you should talk to them about this. i think that the car races are special and if it just ran late for that, then you should be understanding. but if this happens all the time, i would talk to them about it. the kids have school and it is not good for them to be staying up later or out late on a school night. this is a kids activity and they should be understanding of this.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
Honestly, I don't think we have gotten home before 9:00 but maybe twice since they started and all of their meetings start at 6:30. And the worst part is alot of the time the meetings start late because everyone gets there late...sometimes not until 7:00. I know it sounds petty but it is really annoying!
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
28 Feb 09
That is pretty late considering that you would probably have some things to do at home before you could get the kids in bed...which would get them in bed going to sleep even later than that. Kids aren't going to just jump in bed as soon as they get home and go to sleep. I would just say that you feel that some of the activities are ending a little late and see if there's any way you can start earlier? If they give you a lot of flack over it and don't want to change anything, take care of you. Either don't go to some of the ones that will run really late or leave early.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
Yeah, I agree. I am just going to have to start leaving when it starts getting too late. I guess if they see me leave enough because of the time then maybe they will change it. And, you are so right about them not jumping into bed as soon as you get home. I am lucky enough that 2 of them will take a shower and get right in bed, the other 2 not so much.
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
27 Feb 09
are they adults or idiots, you are speaking up with the welfare of the kids, and that is all you focus on,
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
You are right...it is about the kids. I shouldn't worry about what think if I say something. Thanks for your support.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Boy I feel for you. It's aggravating at heck. I experience the same thing with baseball. Games were at 7 or 7:30 and the were two hour games! The we had to get home. And of course you had to be at the game an HOUR before so they could warm up! Between driving and warming up. there was barely time for eating and homework. In my case I didn't see anway to get them to have the games earlier. There were a limited number of fields and there were also earlier games sceduled. If your lucky, speaking to the right person might convince them to start the meetings a little earlier. But most likely they will have some reason why they can't. Good luck.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
28 Feb 09
The whole sports thing is hard. My boys just finished their soccer season and some of their games didn't start until 7:30, they would play an hour and we had a 1/2 hour drive home. They would always be hungry when we got home and needed to shower. It just seems so late especially when you get to the field and you see some of the older kids are already done playing. I know sometimes the scheduling can't be changed but I think people should consider the age of the children involved in that activity. Thanks for your response.
@bmorehouse1 (1029)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Maybe you could suggest that the meetings be kept to an hour or hold them on Friday night or Saturday afternoon. When my boys were in Scouts they had after school meetings, which the parents did not attend. When there was the Pinewood Derby or Blue and Gold Banquet or some other event like that it was held on a Thursday evening since the parents were involved. Since that was not a weekly event it was not a problem. It was usually over at a decent time though. Best wishes.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
We have discussed changing it o a different night but this is what every one has agreed on. And, a lot of the kids come from different schools. I guess there will have to be some sacrifice in order for them to be in the Scouts.
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I would say something. I know they love their extra activities but it is just that. Activities for them . I would think that more people would be just as concerned about this as you. Right now my girls go to bed at 830 so that would not work at all. My six year old plays softball and on practice or game nights sometimes don't get in bed till 9 but that's managable. I would be furious if we didn't get home until after nine cause then there's dinner, bath, ect and that takes time. If it were me, I would bring it up cause when it comes to my girls, I don't care to sound like the overproctive parent cause I definitly am and am not ashamed of it. Everything I do is with the thought of what's best for my kids in mind.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I couldn't agree more. When i talk to my ex-husband about it he says that it is kind of late but it is only one night. What he doesn't realize that when your 9 it takes a couple of nights to get back the sleep they missed from going to bed so late. And I always feel bad because they are so tired the following morning and so grouchy the following evening. Sometimes I just don't think it is worth all of that for them.
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
27 Feb 09
I thinks it's way to late! My oldest had soccer practice last year until 8.30 pm and wasn't home before after 9.30 - (she was 10 by that time - their team is for girls born 1996 and 1997 and she's the youngest in the team) This when it's school the next day - even if I know that that was the only time avalible since the younger had to have the earlier times. But since almost all gils in the team goes to practice with out parents (so do my daughter) it's late to go home when it's started to get dark - and it's a qouple of miles home. We spoke all about it, but there wasn't any other time they could practice (they had more practices in the week and the other were better hours)
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
27 Feb 09
You are right that is way too late. I don't remember having things scheduled that late when I was younger. Thanks for your response.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
28 Feb 09
I remember those days. It seemed like we always had the derby race on a week night and it was ALWAYS over pretty late. It was hard to get them to do it on a Saturday because there was no place to have it on weekends. Although most of the parents agreed that it was late, it was hard to do much about it - for us. Fortunately it wasn't every week, it was only the special occaisions that were long.