saying no to someone you owe a lot

@jenisky (406)
Philippines
March 1, 2009 9:26am CST
Many of us here have problems saying no specially to someone we owe a lot.when they ask favors or request we often gives in even if were not sure if we can do their favors.some of us have a hard times turning down because we don't want to dissappoint them..do you find it hard to say no to someone you owe a lot?
3 people like this
5 responses
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
7 Mar 09
Hi jenisky, we have to “learn” to say NO when we really need to say so. We don’t have to say YES if we truly can’t do it, or it is not within our ability to do the thing that the person we owe a lot asking us to do for him. It’s too much also if the person asks me to fetch her kid whereas he is indulgent in watching tv series or any other things which he could do them later on. I dislike people to take advantage of me frequently just because I have owed him a lot. So it’s wise for us to talk with him frankly and to refuse him rather than to feel uneasy all the time. For me I help people not saying that I want to take back any benefit from him. Anyway I won’t take any advantage of a person whom I have helped before purposely by asking him to do anything for me, unless I need urgent help for that moment. Sometimes I feel embarrassed if I come across the person for I’m afraid that he might think that I would ask him to do something in return. Well, we help people purely for they need help at that very moment but not hope that they would give us or do us anything in return. Happy posting and take care.
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
yes its better if we know our capacity of helping something just to please him/her for the good thing he's done to us.thanks for participating ikbooi.and you take care too..
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
ooppsss, i mistype the word something, its rather someone.
• United States
2 Mar 09
I have a hard times turning down favors for people, especially if they are good friends with me.
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
its just okay mark to say yes to their favors as long as you can still manage..but not at all times..
@youless (94251)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Mar 09
Yes, it's quite difficult. This is why I hesitate to ask people for help. I don't want to owe other so much. If I am unable to help them in the future, I will feel guilty. I love China
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
its true sometimes its better to do by yourself because there are really some who always ask favors in return..
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Hello jenisky! It's one of my problems too. I remember when I was in college, I have a friend who always helped me financially. I mean, whenever I need something for our projects, she's there to lend me something. I have a habit of giving back the favors even in different way. So in return, I always let her copy to me and helped her with her projects. There was one time when I was really tired and I don't have enough sleep for preparing my reports, she came to me and asked me to help her for her lesson plan. Although I am tired, I can't say no because I always thought of how she helped me whenever I need her. So I helped her and she's very thankful to me. So I will help my friends as much as I can.
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
aisa you are a very kind friend indeed for letting her copy your work ,but just be careful and cautious if he/she just using you.sometimes we have to turn them down too for them to learn by their own..
@drdivu (1011)
• India
1 Mar 09
yeah.. i have this big problem with me.. though sometimes we can manage but most of the time its a ough job dealing with ppl who have helped and want a big favour in return..its even harder to forgo any commiments made to ppl..
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
that was always a problem.its just okay if they are asking for just something that we can do but for things that we cannnot do,its really hard..