saying no to someone you owe a lot

Hi jenisky, we have to “learn” to say NO when we really need to say so. We don’t have to say YES if we truly can’t do it, or it is not within our ability to do the thing that the person we owe a lot asking us to do for him. It’s too much also if the person asks me to fetch her kid whereas he is indulgent in watching tv series or any other things which he could do them later on. I dislike people to take advantage of me frequently just because I have owed him a lot. So it’s wise for us to talk with him frankly and to refuse him rather than to feel uneasy all the time. For me I help people not saying that I want to take back any benefit from him. Anyway I won’t take any advantage of a person whom I have helped before purposely by asking him to do anything for me, unless I need urgent help for that moment. Sometimes I feel embarrassed if I come across the person for I’m afraid that he might think that I would ask him to do something in return. Well, we help people purely for they need help at that very moment but not hope that they would give us or do us anything in return. Happy posting and take care.

I have a hard times turning down favors for people, especially if they are good friends with me.

Yes, it's quite difficult. This is why I hesitate to ask people for help. I don't want to owe other so much. If I am unable to help them in the future, I will feel guilty. I love China

yeah.. i have this big problem with me.. though sometimes we can manage but most of the time its a ough job dealing with ppl who have helped and want a big favour in return..its even harder to forgo any commiments made to ppl..

Hello jenisky! It's one of my problems too. I remember when I was in college, I have a friend who always helped me financially. I mean, whenever I need something for our projects, she's there to lend me something. I have a habit of giving back the favors even in different way. So in return, I always let her copy to me and helped her with her projects. There was one time when I was really tired and I don't have enough sleep for preparing my reports, she came to me and asked me to help her for her lesson plan. Although I am tired, I can't say no because I always thought of how she helped me whenever I need her. So I helped her and she's very thankful to me. So I will help my friends as much as I can.