When do you know if it is time to leave a relationship for good?

@cream97 (29166)
United States
March 1, 2009 1:38pm CST
I am asking all men and women this question. I do know that what real feelings that one can have can diminish. And this can cause a relationship to go down south. What things will have to take place, for you to convince yourself that it is time to move on for good. No turning or looking back?? Will you leave for good?
12 people like this
33 responses
@my125125 (822)
• Malaysia
3 Mar 09
Hi Cream, I don't like my partner spending money without limitation and not taking advice from me. I don't like my partner cheated on me for several time after I have giving many chances. If there is no trust within us or don't take responsible on kids. All the above reason would be the time to leave a relationship for good.
1 person likes this
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
2 Mar 09
yes i will leave for good specialy if i am married.theres no way to carry on and i dont have peace of mind..this is only example
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Mar 09
Im thinking once you realise that the same feelings just arent there anymore and that you dont see yourself with this person in the future than its time to leave. Its not fair to waste your or the other persons time for something that you dont see happening
1 person likes this
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
2 Mar 09
When there is no way of fixing it, or one or both parties don't want to fix it. What can be fixed is defined by each individual. Like abuse, cheating, or even just not calling one day ha, it all depends on what bothers the person and hwo much they will fight for it. Howvere, there is no reason to fight for something where you are not recieving respect at the least such as cheating or abuse.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
2 Mar 09
In spite of your best efforts, they refuse to do have anything to do with you. When they think that what they are doing is "the best thing for you!" I like to make my own decisions and I don't want anyone making them for you. Basically when someone is consistently lies to you, threatens you, belittles you and constantly harasses you. It's time to leave the relationship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
Hi cream97.. I tried it before, leaving a relationship for good without looking back. I guess it really depends to the person of when she could say that its time to leave for good. In my part, I did it because I wake up one day that the so called love I felt for that person vanish or maybe I did not love him after all. Love is such complicated that I cant even tell if the fleeting feeling will be forever. I promised to stay and be with that person yet I cant hold on to that relationship anymore. I found my way out and never looked back after that even if the person I leave behind cried like a river. With my current relationship now, everyhing is going on smoothly yet we experienced some rough roads. The love I feel for my boyfriend now is something for keeps or as long as I live. But I might leave a relationship if there will come a point that he will cheat on me. I dont want to be an idealistic lover that may close the notion that men do cheat but there are some exceptions and I pray that he will never do such to me, which I tested for couple of times already. Maybe because he love me so much and he's happy with me.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
2 Mar 09
[i]Hi cream, I would say when a partner will cheat and when he is abusive and when he is very irresponsible and feelings is not there anymore, those are the basis for a painful good [/i]bye!
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
2 Mar 09
That's a tough question and I don't really think that there is really an answer. I was in a relationship for 5 years; the majority of which was just awful, but I stayed for a long time until I just decided that my leaving is what had to be done. I think that it is just something that builds up, maybe just a bunch of little things, maybe a few big things, maybe just one really big thing,but a person can only take so much and once the limit is reached the rope snaps and you just make that decision to end it. Maybe something in your life has changed, maybe you can just see things that you couldn't before. I think that it is different for everyone. But once you do it feels so good. :)
1 person likes this
• India
2 Mar 09
Well your question is bit complicated but well i will try answering you, I would leave a relation when i feel that continuing the relation will get differences between both, Now let say i love a girl and she is close to me,well she got engaged and will be marrying some other person,you love her but at this moment you cannot express it to her as she is engaged that time i would better try avoiding her so that there will be no difference in relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 09
When the Relationship becomes Abusive, that is a time to leave...
1 person likes this
@jstmarfz (1499)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Hello. CHEATING! That's enough reason for me to say goodbye and end the relationship. ARGUING with MONEY, if its getting worst arguing just because of money there are no reason to stay in a relationship. These are the two reasons that will let me end it.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Well I hesitated to answer this one because right now I'm not in a relationship and I'm definitely not an expert, but I'm just going to post from the heart I think that if a person is no longer feeling fulfilled and happy in the relationship, and if they dont have the same feelings that they had when they first started the relationship then that can be a definite sigh that it might be time to end the relationship, and another important sign is if two people no longer respect each other because I think that respect is one of the most important things in a relationship, but I'm really not one to give relationship advice, but I think that you have to do what you feel is best, because over anything else you have to be happy, in the relationship your in, so if your no longer happy then maybe it is time to leave, because if one person is happy and the other person isent then it wont really work.
1 person likes this
@elysium (169)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I would know if it is time to leave a relationship for good if I did not love my boyfriend anymore or my boyfriend did not love me anymore. The other two reasons are cheating and abuse. If my boyfriend ever cheats, then it would make me feel as if I was not good enough for him. Also, if my boyfriend ever abused me, then I would feel as if I am toy that he uses to only express his anger or hatred. A relationship is based on love, honesty, and trust. If any one or two of those pieces are missing, then that is a sign to leave a relationship for good.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Mar 09
when you know completely that there is no interest in both a man and a woman, then i think may be you have to make a move for good. trust and interest are very important for any relation to survive and when both are not there or when you feel that you can no more trust a person and you have no more interest in a person, you must move on without looking back. If its me, i will certainly leave for good. there is no point in making ourselves believe that there is still interest and still trust when there is nothing.
@kirei24 (252)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
you yourself can answer it. if you think this is the best time, then be it. afterall its you whos been hurting or suffering.. but that is ofcourse after so many times of trying to fix things..
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Well it has been my experience that when you lose the respect and or love that you had for the person you are with then you usually can't get it back. You can try but many if not most times it's a waste of time to try. Making yourself unhappy trying to make it "right" or to have a logical excuse to do what you really wish you could or would is not good. If I was not happy with the person I'm with od he showed me no respect or love, then I'd leave and do something that would allow me to be happy.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Hello cream97! For me, I guess when there is no love, respect and trust in a relationship. Those 3 are essentials for relationship and if any of those are lacking, the relationship won't be good anymore. I guess if there's no love, respect and trust, there's a bog possiblity for cheating.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I feel that when you get to the point where things that the other person do that would normally hurt you no longer phase you, it is time to leave.Another time to go, for me is if you can be with someone else. If you can be with someone ele, you obviously are no longer in love with the one you have been with and it is tiome to move on. When I was going through my divorce, I knew I was ready for it to be over when it didn't phase me that he was with someone else anymore and I actually felt relief at the thought of being without him. Maybe it is different for all of s, but that is when I knew it was time to move on.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 09
There are only a few things that would have to happen for me absolutely leave and never to look back; 1.Cheat- I believe that if you cheat on someone then you neve really actually loved them anyway. Or not as much as you thought. And it's obvious you shouldn't be together since you can't keep your stuff in your pants. 2.Abuse- That's emotional and physical. No abuse should ever happen. It means your unhappy and unfit.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
2 Mar 09
While I can't say I have always followed this the one thing that would make me consider leaving is if I became convinced that the love I gave was not being returned. I have had this experience with my first wife. We were married for 37 years and many years into the relationship I discovered that she had many affairs early in our marriage. I had no idea and this crushed me. Following counseling I came to the point where I felt like because it had been so many years before that I could forgive that and hoped we could continue on. We did and I thought it went pretty well. Then one day I came to realize she was having another. There is a lot that goes into that story but of course that was the final straw. We divorced. That was about 6 years ago. I found and married my second wife. Problem there was she was in poor health and in 2007 passed away. I am married again. So the answer to your question is that, even with my current wife whom I love dearly, at the point I felt I was no longer loved as I love her I would consider it time to move on. I would try very hard to find out what went wrong but if it is not fixable I would be gone. Life is too short to live with someone that does not return your love. No it is not easy. It is in fact very hard but in the end it is for the best. I am still friends by the way with my first wife. We had children and now grandchildren so I see her from time to time. But there is no looking back.
1 person likes this