what would you do if i were you???

Philippines
March 3, 2009 8:58am CST
I broke up with my girlfriend last month. We have been together for almost nine years now. The reason of our break up? Well, she cheated on me. Before she was really denying about it and now she is so proud about it. What I hate the most is that she still keeps on texting me and she's sending me sweet quotes. I told her that I have a new girlfriend because I want her to stop, but to no avail... We were together for a very long time and she knows a lot of secrets about me, and I am not talking about simple secrets. I am just so scared that if I upset her more I would make her tell my secrets. I really feel so awful right now. I don't know what to do anymore. Somebody please give me some advice here. I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
5 people like this
27 responses
• United States
29 Mar 09
First things first, change ur number. What kind of person would go and blab about others secrets? Did she forget? you know things about her, too! Sounds like this girl really needs a wake up call. You are obviously over her, I hope.
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Hi there! Thanks for the nice comment. I never thought that this discussion is still alive after 4 weeks. LOL! I am ok now. I have moved on. I am happy with my new found love. What makes me really happy right now is that I have reconciled with my friends, friends that I left when I had my relationship with my biatchy ex.
@DEVONECO (144)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I am sure you are not a criminal or a psychopath or something to worry about that your ex will reveal to the rest of the world! If so, then don't worry what she will tell the world about you. The only person you may have to worry about how these so called "secrets" will affect, is your present girlfriend. My advise is to tell your present girlfriend your secrets before your ex might reveal them to the rest of the world. Life is too short to bother about such petty things. If your present girlfriend trusts you then don't worry about anything. As for your ex, the best remedy is IGNORE HER COMPLETELY!!!!!
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
To all of you who responded in my discussion, thank you so much. I really appreciate all of your different view points. All of you guys have helped me in your words. Happy mylotting!
3 Mar 09
That sucks buddy, breakups are always tough, and being cheated on really doesnt make it much better. It sounds a bit strange that she keeps texting you, I suppose she wants you back? I would say the best thing you can do is to tell her how you feel, explain to her that you don't want to be in touch with her right now and that you need time to yourself to think things over. Lying to her (saying you have a new girlfriend) probably wont help. As for her knowing secrets about you.. If you were together for 9 years, of course she will know secrets about you. You would also hope that in having been together for that long she will have enough respect for you to keep them to herself. Worst case scenario, I am sure you have secrets about her too.
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Aww! Thanks for reminding me that I also know a lot of secrets about her. Hehe... My mind is just preoccupied with the thought that she cheated on me and she hurt me. She sent me this message today - "Each of us represents a star in the sky; sometimes we shine with the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone, and sometimes we fall and make someone's dream come true." She texted me again and she told me that she is my falling star. I really don't know why she said that. She was the one who's been unfair in our relationship. I never cheated on her and right now she is making it appear that it is all my fault.
• United States
29 Mar 09
I am sorry I am coming to this post a month too late. The best thing to do is follow your heart. If yyou can forgive her, then go back to her. If you can't , then leave her alone. whatever you choose,take your time and make sure you can live with your decision.
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
10 Mar 09
I think you should let her do what she like and do not care about her.One day she will know that she just waste her time on you....have a nice day and dont be sad.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
10 Mar 09
First of all...don't be afraid of your secrets...they can't be that bad and even if they are....it is all her word against yours. Deny everything. Be honest with her and firm...tell her to stop texing you....better yet....don't respond.
@vheilugto (149)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
i've been in situation like you way back 2005,and it's really makes me scared like the way you are now, but unfortunately, i am good now, lolz, the best thing that only comes to my mind is, ignore what he's going to tell, or whatever it is. you have to be brave to face it, coz if not, you can not move on, as long as your scared, there will be no chance for you to grow.
• China
4 Mar 09
To a flunky, an eye for an eye.If you don't want to reduce youself to her level......be a gentleman. But if I were you, I will tell some friends my secrets which is not important or something similar to my secrets but not the same even some friendly lies. So when she talk about your secrets, people will take her as a cheater or villain.
@czafle (99)
4 Mar 09
for most cases specially those couples who have been together for quite very long time, they're looking for some "adventure" outside. They like to test whether they are still desirable... They wanted to feel fresh breathe of air in other words. but after all the excitement is gone, they would come rushing back to their original partner... that's the most tricky part. just like the sheena easton's song:"so when you come back around, after painting the town, you see i'm always over you..." so, my point is, both of you should sit and talk about your relationship. perhaps it's the perfect time for you guys to go out just like how you used to 9 years ago. try to bring back the colors back in your relationship by traveling or whatever that both of you enjoy. anyways 9 years is not a joke right, would you let it just pass like that? i don't think so... also it's not time for you to concern more on the "Secrets" thingy. what you want to happen in your relationship is more important than that. hope that helps
@Archie0 (4669)
4 Mar 09
Well she cheated you on some third party ?? if yes then she must not be texting you. if she is texting you or calling then just dont reply any of her messages or dont attend maximum calls of hers, if she asks you just tell her that you are really broke up with the things she has done and now need to stay away a bit to cure yourself, otherwse clearly ask her what she wants from you. and when she dont need the relation too then why is she harrasing you. well remaning thing for your secrets dont be scared, she wont tell them because she will also think the after effects of it. and if you are scared only for that thing then prepare yourself for it, as in think to whom she will reveal your secrets and go and indirectly tell that person what she has to come and tell it to him/her then you will be at the safer side, but dont get scared because the more you get feared the more its gonna eat you up and then you will end up being her puppet
@shifyole (38)
• India
4 Mar 09
hai you say that you had been wiht her for almost nine years which is quite longer time and why all of a sudden you are avoiding her. is she worried that you are avoiding her. you had told that she cheated you. but i think you are reluctant to tell the actual reason. anyways, i dont think so she will tell all your secrets out and spoil her character of a cheap third rate girl. but anyway it is better to have a talk with her finally and separate as good friends. i think that relationship lasts forever without causing any trouble
• China
4 Mar 09
It sounds so bad and sorry to hear what you said. I can't imagine what secrets make you so nervous. I also can't believe nine-year relationship can be destroyed so easily. If I were you, I don't care what she will do. Sorry I can't give you good advice and just hope you can be better as soon as possible. Bless you! Good luck!
• India
4 Mar 09
HEY YOU,stop being so negative and first of all change your id ,this bleeding shadow is so full of negative thoughts.And now lets talk about your girlfreind,its clear that she just want to irritate you and tease you,so you just keep mum .Let her do what she want to ,you just dont react to any quote of her ,neither say her that you have a girlfreind nor abuse her ,just dont react ,and trust me she will automatically get out of your life .remember just dont react.and change ur id the bleeding shadow.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
4 Mar 09
Breakups are always very bad and painful. With it is attached many thoughts of revenge and all. Better ignore her messages. do not reply or talk with her. With time she will stop. Now as she knows many secrets, she may come out any time.
@knaphih (57)
• Australia
4 Mar 09
I can understand what you must be feeling right now. i almost broke up with my girlfriend last night. For some other reasons. Anyways, what you need to do is, ignore her... completely ignore her. She decided to throw away the love you had for 9 nine years the second she decided to cheat on you. Theres no need to say anything; for if you say something, it might come out bad for her and upset her.. happy lotting buddy :)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
After nine years of the two of you together, she cheated on you? Wow! I couldn't believe that. I think the only advice I could give to you is change your simcard and try to avoid her in every possible way. And so what if she spills your secrets? Let her do it and besides it would be her loss not yours because you trusted her not to tell them.
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I think if it was me, I would change my number and try to break all ties with her. I dont think I would let her blackmail me with your secrets and hopfully she is mature enough not to even consider it. I would think you know some of her deepest secrets too. I believe that if your friends and family truly love and care about you, whatever secrets that you have shouldnt truly matter. I hope all goes well with whatever you decide to do! Hugs, Tianna
• United States
4 Mar 09
Well good job for breaking up with her. Staying with her would definitely be a bad idea. Obviously, I can tell that it was probably very hard to let someone go that you've been with for nine years, but you definitely don't want to have her cheating on you in the history of your relationship. It would definitely come up a lot in your life and every time it would be an extremely irratiting memory. Be proud of yourself for finding someone new and leaving your cheater in the past. If she knows a lot of your secrets, that really does suck, but let her tell them I guess, with you doing your best to try and make her keep quiet as well of course. But if she is trying to use your secrets as something to get back at you, then she's really messed up. After all, she cheated on YOU. If your secrets aren't too bad, then you definitely know something about her that's really bad. Cheating on your significant other is one of the worst things a person can do, not the worst, but definitely something that would give her a really bad wrap. If she tells your secrets, she's even more of a messed up person. She already cheated though, leave her and let whatever happen happen. From your message, that's obviously what you're doing, and it is the best thing to do. Good luck with everything and hopefully this x of yours doesn't say anything too terrible about you.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
4 Mar 09
It sounds to me that she is a very confused girl. She is trying to keep you on a string so she can pull you back and release you at her whim. I know that it hurts you to even think that she would do this, but unfortunately, many people are like that. The fact that she holds many personal secrets sure doesn't help the situation at all. Are they secrets that will really hurt you,or are they more embarrassing? If they are more embarrassing, I wouldn't worry too much, because with or without the secrets, if she wants to say embarrassing things about you, she will do it regaurdless. Chances are that she knows that you are worried about her telling your secrets and she will use them to try to keep you at her beck and call or at least keep a hold on you. If you act as though you could care ledd what she says or does, and refuse to respond to her messages, eventually, she will get the hint. The sooner you stop allowing her to control your emotions, the sooner you can really get on with your life.
@lucas16 (98)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
the gurl is not over you... i think your gurl have not decide to leave or stay with you. leave the gurl..