Do parents get a little "carried away" at their child's sports events?

@JenInTN (27565)
United States
March 4, 2009 7:37pm CST
I have been to what seems a zillion sporting evenys for my children and at everyone there seems to be the parent that screams and cusses. Hangs over the fence shaking their fist. On the news tonight a man was arrested for attacking a referee at a middle school wrestling event. Ok..what kind of example does this set for the children involved? Have you ever witnessed anyone acting like this and what did you think about it? Have you ever gotten a little carried away yourself at an event? I would love to hear everyones thoughts on this.
3 people like this
19 responses
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
Hi JenInTN.Well,I have to admit,I do get a little carried away when my child participates in any school event...but just a little...as much as possible I try to hold it in.She's not much into sports,by the way.I do see some parents,though,who can't help but scream so loud to the point that it really gets annoying.I've also seen some who get into some fight with other parents...now that's really going overboard. The story you mentioned is something else..attacking the referee,OMG.that is too much.The kid must have felt so embarrassed for what the father did. Thanks and Happy mylottin!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Hi elmolovesu! LOL..thanks for the honesty. I am all for cheering a child on. I applaud and whistle with the best of them but the aggresion is hard for me to handle. I hate when the parents are cussing and screaming and turning those three or four shades of blue. Thanks for the response and take care.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
5 Mar 09
That is the worst as it could be! That would definitely not put his children in good state of mind. Aiming is good but putting pressure on your children to get that success in thier is bad. I am no parent now but I feel that there is a lost more pressure on today's children than us. We also went through pressures but these days it is enormous.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I agree with you friend. There is alot of pressures put on children. Sports should be fun and parents supportive. Thanks for the response.
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
6 Mar 09
Not only sports but have you seen children going to reality shown on TV! The pressure there is enormous on children. I would never send my children to any reality tv shows. One contestant lost her voice in those TV reality shows.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Yes..those contain a lot of pressure too. I wouldn't even want to be on one of those shows.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
5 Mar 09
It is not just in sports. It in dance, cheering, martial arts, even school. Parents need to learn that these activities are their child's activities and just be there to support them, period. They have to stop living their lives through the kids.
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@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Hi nanajanet! It is in most all child activities. My oldest used to be in beauty pagants untli I complimented a child's dress and asked the mom where she had come across it. You would have thought I had asked her to reveal something in national security..lol.Thanks for the response.
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@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Yes, a good friend of mine has both her girls and her son in pageants. Most parents are great but there are a few who are just off of the wall. I wonder what makes them that way? I give give two hoots about stuff like that.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Me either..I thought it would be fun to dress up my first daughter and show her off. Best case get a trophy for her room. We got a couple but after seeing the extremes some of the parents went to was unreal and not why I wanted to be involved at all. I saw makeup and hair extensions put on little girls at 2 and 3 years old.It was nuts.
• United States
5 Mar 09
Jen- It's honestly the reason why our son will probably never play little league. I can't stand the competition, nor the stuff that happens among parents. It ruins what is supposed to be a learning experience for children. They don't learn good sportsmanship, in my humble opinion. Oh, I will say there are some really good coaches, but they can't control parents. (Nor would I ask them to, parents should be smart enough). My sister-in-law's kids play sports, but I just can't see myself ever going through all of that. My son and I study martial arts with his father (my husband), and I imagine that as we continue we'll continue it as a family for our lives, as well as seeking training in other areas outside our area, such as Kung Fu. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Your right Anora..the coaches can't control parents. Things also get very competitive among the parents even moreso than with the children. I'm thinking that people are taking things a little to seriously. In my opinion..they are kids wanting to stay healthy and have fun. They are there t learn how to function in a team environmen. It's nice that your family is into martial arts. My family has a history of involvement. My youngest daughter is a green belt but it's mixed martial leaning towards Taekwondo. Thanks for responding!
• United States
5 Mar 09
Jen- Congrats to your daughter on her green belt. Yes, I agree that's really in the hands of the parents. I don't think it's a bad idea for kids to learn how to play on a team, I just have such a bad taste in my mouth of it. Maybe I'm too protective, but I just don't want my children exposed to that. Blessings-Anora
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Your not to protective. It can be ugly. Thanks for the congrats..she's worked hard and is really proud.
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
25 Mar 09
Nope. Yet to witness anything like that in real life. But seen it a lot in movies though. And here I am, thinking that it only happens in movies. It seems it happens in real life too. Was the guy charged for attaching the referee?
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Oh yes..he was taken to jail and charged. It happens more than you might think. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
26 Mar 09
You are most welcomed my friend. Question is, it is just a game, why get so worked up over it?
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
5 Mar 09
i didn't know you had ever been to a ballgame when i was there, jen" you described me to a tee except i didn't attack a ref but threatened a few. i know it's bad & does not set a good example for the kids . i really dread my grandson starting to play. lol
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
LOL! I'll have to come keep you off the refs. I thought I recognized that lady hanging over the fence shaing her fist..LOL..Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
6 Mar 09
THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
5 Mar 09
My seven year old is not too sporty like her mother but she has been doing ballroom dancing for the past three years and she may compete next year. I am a little thankful that she doesn't play team sports because I have seen first hand the crazy stunts over competitive parents can pull because my ex used to coach an under twelves football team. I used to feel so bad for the kids who were usually only there to please the parents anyway. My ex used to have to ban some parents from the games and the language that was used! Keep in mind these kids were all under 12 years old and some were as young as 6. I've been putting off my daughter starting competition dancing because I was afraid of what I may witness again from stupid parents although her teacher has assured me it is a different environment and there are no crazy mum and dads there. I sure hope he's right!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
It will still be "competitive" but not as loudly or open. It is a shame that parents act the way they do. If they are like that in public..imagine what they're like at home. Thanks for the response.
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Do not think that ballroom for kids is much different. I teach dance and trained many children for ballroom competitions. The competitiveness of parents spans all children's activities, including dance. I know, with my own students, when competing, I did not allow such behavior from parents or their kids, but it does exist. I know, when my kids were in sports, the first sports group we were involved in were bad, even the coaches pushed the kids. We switched to a different group and it was all about learning how to play, how to win and lose, with grace, and have fun.
@teabug (15)
4 Apr 09
We also see this on a regular basis. I played a zillion sports growing up as well and remember noticing a big difference between parents who were simply too "into" the game and ones that went overboard on the emotions. I have always thought the parents that get out of control are reliving their own childhood in some way and that is why the emotions take over. The "into" the games parents are just competitive type personalities and usually calm down at some point. I gave up officiating at youth sports a long time ago because of parents. It is a shame because it is a way that I would really like "to give back". But there is no way.
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@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
4 Apr 09
Parents can make coaching very difficult. A lot of them are screaming commands to their children over the coach's head. The kid gets confused and don't know what to do. I think it is a shame and you are right. A lot of them are living through their children. It's a shame you can't give back the way you would like. Thanks for responding.
@Hvaniday1 (550)
• Malaysia
9 Mar 09
No, I don't think so. I don't witness any event like this before.
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@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Thanks hvaniday! I was a little shocked and waited for the mom's reaction. There wasn't one so I guess she was ok with it.
@zhuhuifen46 (3486)
• China
6 Mar 09
May be it is strange to you, and hard to conprehend. We used to have the slogon "Friendship First, Match Second." It is not that stressed any more, but kids are taught the essence of sports is to seek better health. Competition should not spoil the fun. In the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the team lost the game gained equal aplauses for their participation. We are proud of the event.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I watched those Olympic games and you should be very proud. I think all children should be taught that slogan. I think that the parents can sometimes be more the problem because most of the children start out wanting to have fun and learn the game. Thanks for the response.
@lucas16 (98)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
Well, i think that the reason why all the parents scream and get excited during the game is that they love to see their wonderful child perform... at the same time and they get excited because they will actually think that it is a really game like NBA.. hehehehehehe.. its ok.. ehehehehehe..
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I love the cheering and yelling..it's the cussing and fighting I hate. Thanks for responding.
• Greece
5 Mar 09
i thing we should let our children to choose their sport. that way it is more fun . a lot of children are sad for playing sports that their parents chose.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
That's true. I hate it when children are forced to play and hate it. Thanks for the response.
@littleone3 (2065)
5 Mar 09
I witnessed this myself on Sunday just gone. My daughter was taking part in her Judo Schools competition. There was a man sitting on the chair next to us and I assumed it was his son who was on the mat fighting. All he done was criticise him and when he lost his fight he was like 'You could have done better you should have won that one' I felt so sorry for the poor boy and was so tempted to make a comment but held my tongue. I don't know if someone had a word with him because by the time his son came on for his next fight he was a lot more supportive. Then a bit later on there was another man who didn't agree when the ref awarded the point to the other boy. He started shouting the odds and the ref went up to him and said 'come on then'. At this point another ref who wasn't referring at the time stepped in to try to calm it down. When we left about 10 minuets later they were still arguing. I do not understand parents like this, all they are doing is setting their children bad examples. The only time I do get carried away is when I am cheering my daughter or son on.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Hi littleone! I agree completly! People can be horrible to their children. I have seen parents come down really hard on the child for not living up to their expectations. It's sad. It's tough when you have to witness this. Thanks for responding and keep cheering.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I have seen parents make terrible fools of them selves and I always wonder what their child is learning. Sometimes sports for children seem the most important thing in their world. I avoid these games just because of parents bad behavior. I'm so glad I don't have any children of that age now. My daughters both are very active with childrens' sports.
@snowcat46 (2323)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I see it all the time. They don't care if the kid is having fun, all they want is for them to win!! They are so caught up in winning, their kid doesn't even matter anymore. Yeah, I used to get carried away too. EVERYBODY hated me. Not cause I yelled at the kids to do better, or hung over the fence, or threatened anybody. But I'd cheer any kid who did a good job. That didn't sit well when it was an opposing member. I figured we're there to help the kid's feel good, all the kid's not just our own!! I won't feel bad about it either. I'd still do it!!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Thanks snowcat! I like your attitude. All children should be cheered on and praised for trying their best. I don't cheer for the opposing team but I don't yell against them either. Thanks for the response.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
5 Mar 09
My kids have never been in any sports, so I have never had the opportunity to get that out of line at a sporting event. When I was in softball when I was younger my parents never made it to my games. No that they were too busy most of the time, but just that they did not bother. So I guess my parents were the opposite end of the spectrum. I have seen parents go a little over board before, but nothing like what you saw on the news.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I hate your parents didn't come to your games. I know it's important to children to have their parents present for support. It's good you haven't had to deal with the put of control thing but I know you would have liked to be cheered on. Thanks for responding.
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
5 Mar 09
I've seen some of those parents, but luckily I haven't seen many yet, even if I know there is parents like that. I've been talking with a lot of referees mainy in soccer and they say it can be awful! Even during games with young children. I've been talking to a qouple of referees after games since I use to pay them *lol* I pay for our team - not for anything else.... We've had one or two that we don't use anymore since they have been very not fair judgeing - when one team have kicked and hit our players (mind that our girls often is one/two years younger than the other team). During the game I don't say anything - it's up to the coaches. Some parents (and coaches) have been banned from the field and the things spreads quickly - eveyone knows in a few days and it's not good for them or the team.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Thanks for sharing. Some refs can seem very unfair and there are some very aggressive players that should be called out. Some parents just take it to far. Hope you don't have deal with the out of control parents. Thanks again.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
my son is still young but i want him to join somthing like that too. but i think it is natural if parents get carried away at their child's sports events. i get carried away when i watch sports on tv what else if that was my son out there. i might gone wild and very noisy. har har har i can imagine what i would look like....
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Mar 09
LOL..I think that cheering them on loudly is perfectly fine..it's the ones that cuss and attack the refs that can ruin it for everyone. Thanks for the response.
• United States
5 Apr 09
oh my god definetly. i went to game for my friend's boy,and the display i saw out of the parents that day was just shocking.kids were crying and everything because a fight broke out between two of the so called adults.they ended up suspending the games for awhile,which only hurt the kids who just wanted to play.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Apr 09
Those games can get wild! Parents seem to just lose all control. I was amazed at the first game I went to for my kids. Thanks for the response.