Should wife do more housework?

China
March 4, 2009 10:34pm CST
In China, when we talk about a man in a family, maybe we will define him as a "Big Man", which means he always ask his wife to do something and can make decisions, and the wife has to obey,as if he is a leader in a family. As a result, wife hasa to do a lot of housework and look after the old and young. Since our country adopt the opening up and reform policy, more and more women begin their own careers. More husbands also share housework with wifes. But I find this "Big Man "concept still exists. For example, recently, I am very busy with my work and my husband has to do a lot of housework. But he ask me not to tell others, otherwise he will lsoe face. Do you or your husbands do housework ? What do you think of it ?
2 people like this
39 responses
@yAks89 (589)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
IHusbands and Wife should be equal.
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
yeah!! Absolutely!!! FAIR!!!
@yAks89 (589)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
You look familiar. ^_^
• United States
5 Mar 09
I agree that some of the wife this time has already a careers not like the wife before they are called working wife. In my situation i am not working wife but soon i will be, talking the housework at kitchen i am more than working our foods but about who map the floor is my husband. I can tell I am more than working at housework than my husband but i am just happy co'z he will help me sometimes.
• India
5 Mar 09
it is true that todays woman juggles house work and outside work . But seriously is it not fun to be multitasking? we share our work and both of us enjoy it
@iamsolucky (1243)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
i think its good if you help each other in doing housework, but women have thier natural ability that they clean better than a guy, and yes a guy can do technical things better that a girl. I think its about balance, i dont care even my future hubby choose not to clean the room as long as i can see helping in other way like he fix the bulb, the ceiling or other things. I like cleaning and washing, but i always tell my boyfriend that i am not a maid, when i am tired, i can stop and he will start to smile and advice me " go for a rest". Happy mylotting!
• China
5 Mar 09
But I find more and more husband can cook decious food. And my husband can clean better than me. Maybe both man and women can do it best if we try our best.Have a happly day.
@SomeCowgirl (32271)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I can understand where your husband is still concerned with his reputation, as it was a thing of the past, and still is in some situations. Especially when a man is used to the wife doing the chores. My fiance and I do a bit of housework but we also do not own the house in which we live, my fiance's mother and father does, and we live with them. We are equally responsible in chores and such, and we are very glad that we are. Even so, we have not been made to do so strictly but have done so as to respect them, and also let them know we appreciate them letting us stay with them.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
I think that you have a very considerate and thoughtful husband since he is willing to help you with the housework. He is definitely a lot better than a lot of other husbands out there who just lets their wife do all the chores. Your husband has nothing to be ashamed of, he is doing some housework because he loves you and wants to help you out, not because he is afraid of you.
• Indonesia
6 Mar 09
since i haven't married yet, so i dont have a husband, but from me, i think its ok if hubby do housework, maybe its juz men with their pride, hehehe...
@NancyXie (78)
• China
6 Mar 09
I think ''Big man''concept last from thousands years ago, when emperor dominated the world,then of course ppl think men are stronger and more powerful than women!That is really unfair for women, but unfortunately the idea is ineradicable in ppl's mind. Husbands need to share housework with wives if they have time.If they dont have time, hire a maid or a part time to do it, wife is not there to do housework only.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
6 Mar 09
I think that both woman and man should work together on doing the house work I dont believe that any particular gender should be made to feel like its there soul duty to do anything I feel like husbands and wives should pitch in together and share the house work.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
6 Mar 09
My husband and I both work, and we both do the housework. That being said, he has made the mistake of trying o tell me that cleaning the house is a "woman's job" and found out real quick that it is also a man's job. If I were not working,a nd on those days I am off, I do all of the houework, and it doesn't bother me one bit because I know that he is at work. It often causes an argument though when he gets off of work much earlier than me, or has the day off while I am working and simply doesn't do anything around the house. I believe that if both are working, both need to help around the house.
@gxyywhyzy (450)
• China
6 Mar 09
As a man,we hold a very responsible position in the homeand this "Big man" concept always exists in our mind.now most of men have undertaked to cook a meal,do laudry and other housework.finally,we'll get happiness of our families.
• United States
6 Mar 09
I live in America and was raised in a family where it is the woman's job to take care of the house work. Before I married my husband we talked about it and agreed that since we would both have to work to pay the bills then we would both do house work. He is very helpful. I often find that I do most of the work but if it piles up and I am unable to keep up for whatever reason then he picks up the slack and never complains. I can relate to your "Big Man" culture/concept, If I was to tell my family (my dad's side of the family) that my husband helps then I would loose face because the women in my family would think that I am not a good wife, and they would tease my husband for doing women's work. The other side of my family does not care who does the house work as long as the house is clean.
@dns100 (11)
• Canada
6 Mar 09
I think that they should do equal. Men and women are equal, just different. If one does more than the other, the partner doing more of the work could feel resentful. Leading to unhappy marriage and or disruption, more so than in the past.
• United States
5 Mar 09
I think it depends on the situation. If a wife stays home all day long and the man works, yes, I believe that the woman should do ALL of the housework, laundry, dishes, taking care of the kids and homework and cook for the family. If both the husband and wife work, I think it should be shared. My mother taught me when I was younger that if my husband and I work, we should create a weekly chore list, sort of like we do with our kids and the husband and wife split the housework. My husband is a little different though. I stay home with our youngest and I clean all the time, take care of laundry, dishes and my kids but a lot of the time, my husband likes to cook, even after a long day at work. So like I said before, it depends on the situation. Plus, it also depends on the type of man or woman you marry...some of them can be so lazy.
• United States
5 Mar 09
this "big man" concept still exists in a lot of households all around the world. now i am not familiar with any other countries, i can only vouch for my household and a few of the people that i know. i'll admit that im lazy and don't do a lot of housework. right now, my husband has been laid off, so he stays at home and does the housework and takes care of our son. (even when he was working, he still did those things). plus he cooks, and takes care of the bills and what not. so , all i have to do is just go to work lol. i think its great that he does all these things, help me out, and you can't find too many men that will willingly do what he does. so if you have a man that does his fair share, even if its only sometimes...ENJOY HIM. i surely enjoy everything my husband does. he treats me like a princess, even when i can be queen beotch!! love is great!
@Ithink (10715)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Personally I think what works for some families don't work for others and what counts is what works for each of us. We all have different lives. I'm a SAHM and I take my responsibility seriously. I feel I'm at home all day so the house should be done and looking nice and tidy when kids return from school and when hubby comes home. I'm also at home with our 2 year old (actually granddaughter) but we consider her ours since we have had her since birth and legally since she was 5 months old. Now that said, I do think it is fair for them to help out thou. Even thou I am home things can get rough, doing the same thing every day gets tedious and chasing a 2 year old is rougher now then it was when I was younger chasing our 7 kids! So in our home I do most everything but when they get home I do ask them to pitch in on somethings. It is what works for us. Hmmm weird thou my hubby will brag, I did the dishes or whatever to his guys. I think it shows that we have a great relationship and he values me and what I do as I do him.
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
5 Mar 09
hi fino1982, You are not correct. I don't agree with what you said about men in China. First of al, I am not a man. I think you are talking a portion of men in China but not all. It all depends on which provinces the man comes from. Men from southern tends to act like as you mentioned. Men from northern area is famous to love wives so much, do lots of housework, give so much money to their wives, cook them breakfast/dinner and most of the men from Northern are not angry with their wives even their wives blamed them in front of their friends, they won't go to socialize with customers, as our saying "the man can even wash underwears of his wife by hand". That's very true that every man comes from Northern are so nice(of course some are not, as every one is an individual) , but they are too timid in some kind of women's eyes, they don't behave like men! I married to a chinese guy who can do anything for me. My hubby is a reasonable guy. Your husband is quite good indeed if he helps you on housework, he is just asking you not telling this to others, what a big deal? It's just like a man asking you not telling others that he loses his job. There's always a thing that each person would mind so much. Have a nice day! You have a good husband. Enjoy your time with him. Happy myLotting:)
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I think husband has their work to do at home like raking the grass outsisde, shoveling the snow, repair the broken things at home that kinds of stuff. And wife should do their part like laundry, washing dishes, cleaning etc so I tink it is fair. To me, I don't mind if he needs my help abou his "housework" if I am capable to help.:-)
• United States
5 Mar 09
my husband helps out but I am a little old-fashioned in that I enjoy cooking and cleaning and feel bad if he does too much. Chinese culture is very different from life in USA, even though I worked outside of the home like many wives we don't mind so much if the husband helps. Some of us like it more than others. I think that people here accept the idea of the husband helping with the kids and chores. My husband likes to joke around about the whole "man of the house" thing but I feel we are equals and he does too.
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
5 Mar 09
It's not as serious of a matter in the US. There is the feminist movement that fights against this sort of attitude. The roles of men and women are becoming blurred. No man loses face if he shares in the housework. He may be concerned about losing face in other areas though such as a business meeting or coming up short on his credit card in front of people. Women are still understood as the traditional housekeepers and men as the primary breadwinners but it really now depends on each family's unique situation. Some women like to work and some men like to stay home, there is nothing wrong with that, the only thing people may think is that the man is lazy.
• India
5 Mar 09
we share the housework although it still remains my priority and responsibility . It is always an additional initiative when the husband does some house work !!!!!! Maybe we women enjoy it so it never changes roles.