Do you tend to make mountains out of molehills?

Singapore
March 7, 2009 8:58am CST
"Hey, you forgot to turn off the tap again." As if you have always remembered yourself... "The heater, dude! Off the heater after you shower!" As if you have never forgotten... "You did not do what I asked you to do again!" As if you always jumped to do my things... Let's think back. Have you ever yelled at someone or blamed him because he forgot one thing or another? Maybe you told him to wipe his shoes on the carpet before coming in. Maybe you told him to bring his dishes to the basin even if he is not going to wash them. Maybe you reminded her 10,001 times to screw the tap tight after use. Do you tend to make mountains out of molehills? The above may be relatively trivial on their own but they are often the start or trigger to a full-blown quarrel. It only takes a spark to get the fire going. Give an argument life and soon both of you will stomp off in anger. So, do you or do you not? Do you snap at others' little slips? Do you try to put aside the negative emotions instead? What say you?
19 people like this
50 responses
@derek_a (10902)
7 Mar 09
I would think most of us could say that we have been intolerant with others at times. It is only human nature to be having a bad day, when everything seems to be going wrong and then somebody does something that is quite trivial and it is like the straw that broke the camel's back! I look at these times as challenges to remember to stay calm - well as calm as you can. - Derek
3 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Yea! We aren't all saints!
@mysdianait (64059)
• Italy
7 Mar 09
I used to before I became wiser. The day I realised that some people don't even hear (let alone listen) when a rant is being peformed, I stopped. I decided that I have only a certain amount of words and time allocated to me during this life therefore no point in wasting them. The tap is still dripping? - then I either close it or pretend not to have noticed and let someone else rant. The socks are piling up? - who said it is me that has to collect them all? The washing-up hasn't been done and it's way past lunch time? - who cares? either someone else will do it or I shall still find it there with the plates from the next meal too. I always was a patient person but it has become much more emphasised of late as I have become very aware that time should not be wasted on petty things that resolve nothing anyway What about you wizard, what do you do?
2 people like this
@patgalca (14309)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Mar 09
Dripping tap wastes water that we are paying for. Though it rarely happens, it has been happening quite a bit of late. I have yet to say anything to anyone but do believe it is necessary for them to make sure that tap is turned all the way off.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (64059)
• Italy
7 Mar 09
I absolutely agree! How come I was the only one ever to hear it dripping though and once I 'forgot' to hear it the person concerned got the point and it never happened again - even without a rant
1 person likes this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Wise old Diana. I decided that I have only a certain amount of words and time allocated to me during this life therefore no point in wasting them. Geez, that sounds extremist. You shouldn't be myLotting then... don't waste the precious word count. Me? I try to just tie up the loose ends myself and avoid starting the ranting. I have been relatively successful of late.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Live is too short to snap over little things so I TRY not to. I remind at times. And being human I do slip and snap from time to time. BUT I do try not to. With a house our size we just go with the flow.... I call her out and hand her the dish that she forgot. And three others if I have them. If she had taken it in the first place, there wouldn't be the extras. Hopefully those nice little reminders will sink in before we have to get snappy.
2 people like this
@patgalca (14309)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Mar 09
Well that's what I say, "If you had done it yourself in the first place then you wouldn't have so much more to do" or "then I wouldn't have to nag you." We are supposed to be working together as a unit and I am not their slave. See my retirement speech on Triond. http://www.authspot.com/Biographies/My-Retirement-Speech.480885 I did read it to my family and it worked for a short time. But I will not let it go. I continue to remind them to help out.
3 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Gotta caution then constant reminders turn to nagging and that is as ready a trigger as any. And yup, on the flip side, they should have done what they are supposed to do in the first place then all will be good.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Do you know how much I just do myself??? LOL It's so much easier that way.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
7 Mar 09
If I get the same excuse Oh I forgot . that gets pretty old when you had just told them something that needs to be done. My daughter stopped telling and has me do it for it never gets done if she says but only if I say grrrrrrrrrrrr. I get tired of being the one to do it!
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
I know what you mean... like why does that person always forget?
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
8 Mar 09
yeah why!?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Don't ask me why lol.
@patgalca (14309)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Mar 09
I usually grumble about it to myself at the time. When it persists I will mention it to the family at dinner. One of my big little issues is toilet paper. No one in this house seems to know how to change the toilet paper roll. In one bathroom it is a matter of lifting the bar off its holder and slipping the new roll on and setting back down again. No springs to push, nothing. In the other I have a butler with a plunger on his head. I keep two spare rolls of toilet paper on the handle of the plunger. My goodness, what could be easier than to slide a roll of toilet paper onto a stick!? They just can't seem to think these things through or they are just plain lazy. The same thing with making a new jug of juice and rinsing dishes. I've pretty much given up trying to train the natives so I grumble about it to myself. If everything happens at once (ie I wake up in the morning to a kitchen full of dirty dishes with an empty juice jug sitting nearby and no toilet paper on the roll) then I will explode. But that is usually to the kids when hubby is working. Hubby is too old to be trained at this point.
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Lol the toilet paper! This is something that has been thrown around in my house quite a few times recently. "Thankfully", I am neither the initiating nor receiving party. The initiator claims that there is not enough left in the roll for a final session so it is wrong so the last person not to change. The rest (everyone else) insist we are not that last person. To me, I think this is so subjective. Some people uses just 1 or 2 pieces each session. Others (maybe the initiator) may need half a roll. But of course, if it is all empty, then the last person should definitely do the changing.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (14309)
• Orangeville, Ontario
8 Mar 09
And, you would think, the same goes for the juice. Last one to empty the jug should make a new jug. The denials fling around my house like crazy. I think I make more juice than any of the three that drink it. I don't even drink the stuff!
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Lol, I have a kindred in the water boiler. We have this nice gadget where we pour in water taken from the tap to boil - which becomes our drinking water. When the level drops, someone will yell why it isn't topped up. As if I am the only one who drinks water.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
7 Mar 09
Do you snap at others' little slips? Fortunately... I live alone and don't have those problems. But it is not about "little slips"... It is about selfish children or people ignoring your request. Day after Day... they keep making the same mistake... because they don't care. And it does come a time when you finally had it with them. That is when you snap and let them have it. And they turn around innocently... asking... "Why do you make mountains out of molehills?" That is when it is time to open the door and throw them on the street. It is a fact that everyone have their little habits... and they are quite paranoid about it. I find it very difficult to live in someone else house. They have all these little rules... which seem ridiculous to me... but very important to them. I am rather easy going... and if someone was living in my house... I don't think I would have too many rules.
@patgalca (14309)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Mar 09
You are correct, however there comes a time when it very much seems like everything is being left for me to do. They are lazy and I am not their slave. How hard is it to change a roll of toilet paper?
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
But children are... children? I think each of us has our own idiosyncrasies... we just have to respect one another. But of course, if you live alone, then most of the times you only have to deal with yourself. And well, you set your own "rules".
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Mar 09
Don't under estimate the children. Many are smarter than adults. But it is not usually the children which are the problem. It is the teenagers and the adults.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Yeah, especially if I am the ONLY one cleaning up around the house, and that includes spring cleaning..I never get time off or a vacation and yet my family can't put their own clothes in the laundry hamper? And my husband yells at me and the kids for leaving lights on and yet I go back to the bedroom and he has three lights on and the TV while he is sleeping..
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
You can certainly qualified to give most of the rants.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 09
Really? Do I get a prize? And this isn't even the half of it..
@mummymo (23709)
7 Mar 09
WEll seeing as I am practically perfect in every way - seriously you can even measure me and see - I have to say ......Of course I do! lol I live with my other half (obviously a man) and my 2 children so of course I make mountains out of molehills and usually at least once a day! I do have to defend myself and say that since I stopped smoking almost 9 weeks ago I thought that this would get worse but my patience has not diminished because of it! lol xxx
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Make the habit stick!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23709)
8 Mar 09
xxxx
@Annmac (950)
8 Mar 09
I calmly climb the mountains, but I kick out in anger at the molehills. It's always the irritating little things I yell about, hubby leaving a coffee ring on the worktop or my son leaving a plate unwashed. Usually it's not those things that are really bothering me, it's something much bigger that I need to get off my chest, but can't express! I'm lucky that it doesn't start a full blown quarrel. Both of them are the kind of men who rarely lose their tempers. They wait till I've finished yelling and have calmed down then ask me "What's really wrong?" My daughter is like me though and if I yell at her for something she yells back! We both end up getting really angry and 'stomp off'. We both try hard not to react to each others moods or to say something we might regret but at least our quarrels are quickly put aside and harmony restored after some time apart. Luckily now we no longer share a home the quarrels are few! I wish I could put aside the more negative emotions especially anger but on the other hand sometimes it's a great way to relieve the stress of a hard day!
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
It's time to let them know how much "little things" affect you.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I do my best not to "sweat the small stuff". Life is too short to get upset about the little molehills that we all have. We are always going to have the small stuff to deal with, thats life.
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Yup, this is a good philosophy to live by.
@AmbiePam (48672)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I used to do that when I was a teenager. I was a good kid, obedient and everything. But back then I was an undiagnosed bipolar. So on occasions I would snap my mom's head off or my sister's. My mom asked me to unload the dishwasher once and I yelled at her. I went into my closet and bawled my eyes out. We were all perplexed because I honestly was a good kid. Now that I've been diagnosed it is different of course. These days when I lose my temper it is rarely over something small. But I admit, it does happen!
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
I think most of us were less than obedient kids too lol.
@ycanteye (770)
• United States
7 Mar 09
We both try not to snap over trivial things, or even big things for that matter, because we each realize the other is human and will screw up occasionally. We do have our days but that is only human. We try to air our differences in a constructive way too, not always an easy thing to do either I might add. I think it comes from both of us being older and having gone through failed marriages. We are also together 24/7 and have been for the last 8yrs. because we are retired and we have to be tolerant in order to make things work. We still enjoy each others company and have no desire to do things separate from each other because, fortunately, we both like the same things. We have both had numerous chances to do things separately and have turned them down. The odd part is he was alone for 17yrs and I was alone for 4 and we both thought we never wanted to have any part of being a "couple" again...lol
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
tsk tsk - You are in the running for best response!
Neat advice!
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Sometimes I do but it's only because I've let irritation pile up inside me and that one little thing sets off my anger like a match to tinder. Of course, now that I live alone I don't have that happen. I think if everyone would be more considerate, people wouldn't explode like that. When people forget to do things like wipe their feet or turn off the tap tightly it's because they don't care about how others feel--if they did, it would be in the front of their mind.
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Hopefully those big ones are not too destructive!
@riyasam (16578)
• India
7 Mar 09
you have caught me redhanded.i use these phrases on my kids often,they often donot close the washroom door after using or they dont keep back the things they took for playing etc...................but then i let them out,usually something else is bothering me,i show my frustation in this manner.
2 people like this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Well, there are 2 sides to everything... if they have done everything properly, then you won't even get a chance to rant!
@hotsummer (10413)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
yeah, i often do that. but i don't do that on first few mistakes. i do yell when i feel that the person is just lazy to remember things no matter many times i told it patiently. but i think that we also run of patience. i don't actually get impatient on some trivial things. i am more angry on some important matters. like the bills should be paid on time and suddenly forgot to pay it on time which we often do of course sometimes i get a little angry. but i don't really don't get that much. just showing some little annoyance. though i yell, it is not that big yell with some insulting words. when i get angry i hate saying f*** word and other words cause i am not in a habit saying that even in a joke. cause that is such a no no. and when someone yelled at me that way some swear words i really get angry. but for me when i get angry it just to make the other person realize or remember things. those special things. cause if the person for example forgot to close the faucet i let it go. i just close it by myself without saying a word. only for very important things that should be remembered seriously. like buying the medicine that is so important. like antibiotics which should be taken on time and without fail and that person to buy it but forgot after doing some shopping cause get too busy buying stuff. i do get angry. cause i am worried about missing the intake of medicines whoever who will need the medicine for. but what i am angry about at home. when i am the one who for example to close the faucet they do yell at me and keep saying nasty words like i am irresponsible etc. cause when they were the ones who forgot they don't hear a word from me. and so sometimes i feel it is unfair if they are the ones who make mountains out of molehills. and sometimes i do yell at them just for them to realize what they are doing to me when i am the one who forgot to close those small things. but still they don't realize that i am doing those angry or yelling things just for them to realize their actions or attitude. so after some time i just forget . if they don't know how to change their attitude i will not want to be like them. i just want to be a person who keeps his emotion and anger under control.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
tsk tsk - You are in the running for best response!
Yup, the bills would be matters of weightier nature. Just beware though that the "little annoyances" do add up. Regarding your last point on closing the faucet, maybe it would be good to point out to them when you catch them not doing it. BUT, don't yell at them. Talk to them nicely and let them know how you have actually helped them close it so many times already. Let them know that this is a give and take world. It doesn't hurt to be nice to one another.
@hotsummer (10413)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
yeah i do remind them with calm voice usually at first. but they will just reply back that i do that the same thing too and so i should not point things out like that cause i should be blamed also. i do believe or agree that little annoyances do add up. cause i think that is the reason sometimes why i yell sometimes cause they will start a fight when i remind them that they forget things. and so they don't want to be reminded and so i just remain quiet now cause i don't want them think that i am waiting behind their back to commit a mistake. given the fact that my family are the big mouth people and me the one that inherited the gene of my father which is the quiet one. and so the people here are really annoying i may say and there is no point to tell them their mistake. and only when i get fed up again that i talk again. but that too i try to control though i am or not the cause of the problem cause i feel that though i think that i don't talk or yell much as them but still i think that if i talk back in a way they get affected too and i don't want in any way make them feel bad by talking back. i just accept the fact that they just don't want to be corrected. i guess patience is more important and just hope that they will not be that hot headed as they usually are.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
8 Mar 09
Maybe it is time to try cooking some cooling herbal soups for your family so that everyone will get worked up less often.
• United States
29 Mar 09
Having to nag a person to do what they should do on their own is the Main reason I will never marry or have kids. I am not going to waste my \time " mothering " anyone! If he wants to throw his clothes everywhere. Or keep the water on all day, or any other annoying thing. he is free to do whatever. If I had to ask repeatly him to do these little tasks over and opver, thouse " mole hills " would become the biggest mountain. i have a hair trigger temper and I Know if feel I am not being listened to , I will explode. In fact I have a feeling I would end up in prison for my natural reaction. So why waste my breath? Either you are going to do these things or you aren't. I know one thing, I am not going to clean after you. So it won'ty get done.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Well some people like kids just so they can mother over them lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
That's not me. The closest I get to " mothering" is telling a friend or loved one to drink plenty of fluids when they are sick.that's as close to a Jewish mother I will ever get.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
That's showing care and concern.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
Why today so many questions? I do make mountains out of molehills if I am in a foul mood. I do make mountains too when I cannot stand someone who thinks everyone thinks he is dumb if he is not talking. The third reason is simply easy to guess - whyaskq! LOL.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
What do you mean "today"? I only post 1 discussion a day. Maybe something wrong with your email.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
erh.. miscommunication. I received the mails over many days, just that I read them only today. I mean why this discussion so many questions :P
1 person likes this
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
No wat... just the usual few questions.
• United States
14 Mar 09
i have that same arguement about the tap with my brother daily.he never shuts it all the way off. i try not to yell at him,but the water bill is high enough already,y'know? it has become a mountain,because it gets frustrating telling one person the same thing over and over.
• Singapore
15 Mar 09
Why would people want to deliberately leave the tap running?
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Mar 09
i have no idea. i wonder sometimes if he does it to aggrevate me.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
9 Mar 09
No, more than often, i will make many many small molehills out of on big mountain.. lol =D So far, it has not really happened to me yet, and i have to say i'm quite automatic when it comes to such daily things, or trival things... Even if i see any of my family members not doing the things that should be done, i wont react in such a big way, i will just do it for them, with no complains.. hehe ^_^ I mean, there's no need to kick up a fuss for such a small thing, and it's even pointless and ridiculous to quarrel over it right?? lol =D
1 person likes this
• Singapore
9 Mar 09
Wah Kun, so pro. So easy-going huh.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
9 Mar 09
Yeah, i'm always an easy going person, and i'm an easy to get along person too.. lol =D ANyway, it's not much of a hassle for me to do those things, so i just do it.. haha
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I usually don't let things like that bother me.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
9 Mar 09
Saintly, eh?
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
9 Mar 09
No, just too lazy to make a fuss.