After All The Heartache, My Granddaughter's Excitement Is Warming To The Heart!

My Eldest Granddaughter - This pic of my eldest Granddaughter was taken in St.Leonards Forest two years ago, when she was fifteen.
@Darkwing (21588)
March 7, 2009 9:57am CST
No doubt, many of you will remember the trouble my eldest Granddaughter got into when she formed a relationship with a possessive, control freak of a boy, who attacked my Son for no reason, stopped her from wearing make-up and going out with her friends, and provoked me into action when he told her she was NOT going to sixth form college to study law. You'll remember, no doubt that I went up there, got her out, and back home with her family. Well, almost a year on, things are going just great now. The whole situation has turned around. The boy kept pestering her, and much to our dismay and feelings of apprehension, she went to meet him! It turned out that when I went to take her out of the environment, she gained a new strength from our little chat, though! She'd matured, and she came back from the meeting, saying she'd "Kicked him into touch"!! She duly went off to college, and had to take a selection test as only half the applicants could be taken into the class studying law. Forty had to be rejected. She duly took her test, and passed, thus staying at the college. She also went out and got herself a part-time job in a fashion shop, which gives her fifty-per-cent off any clothes she buys there, so she's found the independence she'd been seeking and she's really happy again, as are her family, but the scars will always remain, I guess even though they'll be shadowed by her success. Anyway, the upshot of all this is, a group of college students are going to New York in April, for five days; the group including five of her close friends. Boy, is she getting excited??? She can't wait!!! She's paid for her trip out of her childhood savings, and the family have been giving her spending money through Christmas and her Birthday which has been accumulating quite nicely. Last week, she showed me the new luggage, clothes and shoes, she's bought herself out of her earnings, and not only that... the clothes were all packed neatly in her new luggage!!! With over a month to go, she was halfway there!!! ha ha ha. I do hope she really enjoys this trip because I'm proud of the way she came through all this rubbish, and got back on track so quickly. She loves college, work and is anticipating her trip with real excitement. I thought you'd all like to hear how proud I am of her, and how happy the whole family is now that the negatives are behind them, and they've moved on to a much happier place. You see... life can always be adjusted to your liking, and the obstacles surmounted, if only we have the will to take the necessary actions of dispensing with the negatives and applying a positive attitude. Have you ever had to fight for your family and their happiness over and above the norm? Have you gone beyond the realms of reason to rescue a family member from the jaws of despair? I don't know how I found the courage and strength to do it, but I'm oh, so glad I did. I think maybe that the thoughts of two of my closest friends gave me the strength which drove me on, here. Thank you so much to both of them for their undying support... they were a great inspiration!
8 people like this
11 responses
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
12 Mar 09
I haven't really had to fight for anyone. So far have been lucky. I am so glad you got her out of that situation. He sounds like an abuser and he would not have quit. You sound like a loving caring person But then again I have known that since the day i met you Hugs
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
12 Mar 09
Awwwwww... thank you for your kind words my friend. He was an abuser, you can be sure of that, but there was no telling her. She merely had to find out for herself. She'd got to the stage where she wanted out, but was afraid he'd go round and beat up on her dad again. Then, when she finally texted her mum and told her that he'd said she was NOT going to sixth form college after all the hard work she'd put in to get admission, I flipped. It's not like me to do that unless I'm severely upset, but that's what happened after about six months of this nonsense. So, here we are today, with one very happy granddaughter and her family back to normal. I'm lucky it worked out that way, but I guess what's meant to be... Brightest Blessings my friend and thank you for your contribution. x
• United States
7 Mar 09
Your story needs to be published!!! This is the kind of hope and inspiration that other parents need to hear, we raise our kids and hope they turn out alright. I'm glad that your daughter saw the truth and is now a blooming rose. There is no substitute for a parents love. You deserve all the happiness that will come from this, its not easy to go to bat for a child but when they need you to, you have to swing for the fences. Great job!
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Mar 09
Awwwww... I'm in the middle of writing pieces for a book, but I never thought to include this story. Thank you for your encouragement and support. She's my granddaughter, rather than my daughter. Such was the position that my daughter-in-law and son couldn't go round and get her, as the assault case was pending. So, I had a word with my DIL, and took it in my own hands, with the help of a couple of local friends as driver and backup. She wanted to come home all along, but she was afraid that the boy might go round to her home and cause problems again. She took a bit of reassuring but as I told her, her mum was close to nervous breakdown and her dad was dying inside. They had already lost a son to cancer and now, they thought they'd lost their daughter to this idiot! I'm sorry, but nobody's going to push my granddaughers about! She said afterwards to her mum, that I was the best person who could have gone round there. So, I must have done something right, huh? lol. Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution.
1 person likes this
@dmrone (751)
• United States
7 Mar 09
This is a great story. I am glad your grandaughter has gotten back on track and has found the courage she needed. I am glad you found the strength. It looks like it runs in the family. May her continued success be great. May your strength be unlimited.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Mar 09
I suppose it does run in the family really, as we lead by example rather than chastising and blaming the kids for doing the wrong thing. It took me a while at the door, persuading her to come with me because she was scared of what he might do, and in her pyjamas and bare feet, but eventually, she came, and I could tell immediately that it was what she really wanted. It just needed somebody to show that we all loved her, and that we had backup from friends if he turned nasty. As I said, without the thoughts and support of those two, special friends, I might not have gone with the strength that I found from them. Brightest Blessings... thank you for your wishes and for your contribution.
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Hi darkwing, Your discussion brought tears to my eyes , happy tears ! Love is a amazing thing isn't it . It's funny how people can hurt us and we sometimes just let it pass without a fight . Let someone mess around with those we love , specially our kids and we can become this whole other person . There have been times with my own kids, and with my husband when someone mistreated them . When they have been mistreated it forces me to become something I'm usually not , and they dont want to mess with the person I become ! lol It's kinda shocking how powerful we can become when defending people we love. It's soo wonderful to see our kids finally live happy lives . Thats all we want as parents . That is our goal as mothers . I'm soo happy for you and your family ! now I need to go get a tissue , sniff sniff ..hugs to you darkwing !
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Mar 09
Yes, with children, you just want to see them achieve and form a productive and happy life for themselves... I know what you mean. My granddaughter had spent eleven years studying for her career and he wanted her to throw all that down the drain. That's when I saw RED and had to do something! She was quite grown up about it all as well, in that she considered that when I asked her if she wanted to give all that and her future dreams up for this idiot of a control freak. I could see her taking it all in, but she told me her main worry was that he'd go round and start on her dad again, if she left. I put her in no doubt as to the backing I could have to her house with the half hour, and that seemed to do the trick! Ha ha ha. Brightest Blessings, and thank you for your contribution.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Oh I am so happy for her. SHe has realy got thing changed around for her good. and I sure hope she enjoys New York. and hope they have a good itenierary to follow and some one to guide them around NEw York. adn to be careful of where they go for there is a darkside of new york. To stay away from. Just letting you know. Not wanting this to be a downer. Just hoping she has lots and lots of fun and take lots of Pics! HUgs and blessing to y'll
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Mar 09
I'm hoping my friend, that they'll be accompanied by lecturers when they go out. She told me their main itinerary was to visit the Twin Tower site (whatever's there now), the Statue of Liberty, a Museum of some sort, and skating in Central Park? I guess they won't have an awful lot of spare time to do other things, but there's bound to be shopping and other sightseeing time. She'll enjoy it anyway... she's a bit scared of the flight because she's never flown further than France, which takes about fifty minutes, but she'll be fine in company. Brightest Blessings my friend and thank you for your contribution.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
8 Mar 09
SOunds lik they have a good plan hugs
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
8 Mar 09
Yeah... she did tell me where the hotel was that they'll be staying at, but it's gone out of my mind... it's pretty central.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
7 Mar 09
Oh Darkwing honey this post has really warmed my heart and put a huge, cheesy smile on my face. i remember what your Granddaughter went through and how brave and determined (not to mention stubborn) you were to get her out of the situation. It is fantastic to hear how well she is doing and how much her confidence and maturity have grown in the past year. No wonder you are all so proud of her and whilst i agree the shadows of what happened will always be there I think that perhaps, thanks to you , that in your grandaughters case that could be a good thing in a way. I am pretty sure that she will never get near a situation like that and has shown her an example of how a strong woman looks after those she loves! You should be proud of yourself too sweety! Love to you and your lovely family! xxx
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Mar 09
Awwwwww... thank you my friend. I think it was the right kind of stubornness this time, because it paid off big time. She said she'd never seen him looking so scared as when he brought her bag out, and there were two guys standing there backing me up! ha ha ha. I hope she won't get in a situation like that again because she wants to join the police force and he has a record as long as your arm. When she refused to give evidence against him for the beating, the police told her that they wouldn't accept her into the police force if she was still involved with him. I was determined not to let him stop her doing what she wanted to with her life, so when he said she was NOT going to college, I saw RED and found real determination to go get her. It was more determination than being stubborn I think. I believe in her... she's worked well at school... in fact all my grandkids have and I'm proud of them all. I just couldn't abide to see all that work go to waste, so I made my move. I did hug her and tell her that we all loved her very much and couldn't leave her to the fate that was beckoning. He was bleeding her of her life... the life she'd built over sixteen years... that's why I was so mad!!! lol. She'd also intimated to her closest friend that she wanted out, but she was scared. Anyway... enough already! I'm writing a book here... Brightest Blessings, my friend and thank you for your contribution. xx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
8 Mar 09
I know it was the right kind of stubborn honey and so does your granddaughter. I am certain that she will go on to achieve her dreams and will never let a man stand in her way or bully her again - she has had a great role model after all! I hope she has a great time in New York - you try not to worry, promise? I know she made a mistake , a big one but she made it early , her family supported her and helped her through it. That is the thing about mistakes- with a bitof help we can learn from them and this one could be just the thing that saves her from a far worse one later on in life! Hugs xxxx
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
8 Mar 09
That's quite true, and I won't worry about her going to New York, as she's with friends who know what she came through, (that boy was banned from the college grounds by the Head), and she's under the supervision of lecturers. She gets on really well with both pupils and lecturers, so I'm not at all worried about it. As for the flight... well, there've been a heck of a lot of plane and helicopter crashes recently, but I don't think her time's up yet... I believe she has a lot of time in front of her, so no point sweating the unnecessary, huh? She'll enjoy it... I know she will. She'll make it what she wants it to be, and five days is not a lifetime. She's travelled before with her school. Oh, and I forgot to say that she visited the Houses of Parliament with the college just before Christmas and loved it! Politics are included in her law studies, and she was on Question Time when it was in Crawley... she said she quite enjoyed that! Boy... I would have been asleep after ten minutes! ha ha ha ha xxx
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Hi Darkwing! Oh that is such great news! Although I never knew about this before,I am very happy that everything is going great for your granddaughter. I admire your courage and love. I think, that most of us will do everything we can for our loved ones. With the support and advice from people we love, we can be able to turn negative things around and make it positive. I am sure very happy with this news. I love happy endings. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
12 Mar 09
Thank you, my dear friend. It's very true what you say about turning negatives around into positive. All it needs is a little support and understanding to make your life so much brighter. Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution. x
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
13 Mar 09
Hi dear Darkwing! Yes, life is easier when there is a positive energy enveloping your life and doing your best to try to change all the negatives and turn it around. I remember very well when I have asked you to send me positive energies before because I could feel that there is so much negativity around me. I am very thankful to you dear friend. Deep in my heart, I felt that positive energy and I know that since then, I can see more beauty and feel more hope. I am holding on to it and I may still be struggling but I am now in the Light. Thank you dear friend! Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
14 Mar 09
Awwwww... I'm only too happy that I can have helped a dear friend, like you are to me. As long as you feel those energies and see the light, you're on the right path my dear friend, and things will progressively improve. xx
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 09
There is a lesson in what you write, and always a flip side to every story, I've gone through a lot of negativity and in order to gain I must seek protection from the very instruments that are being used to inflict the pain. Domestic court has no feelings so maybe the victims of abuse will one day have a chance to turn around and expose the attackers so that they are not violated... I'm glad that your grand daughter could rise above, as for me, I am plodding along doing all that I know I can do... I've made contact with all the appropriate people, everything is now in place with only a few threads that need to be tied off. The days are counting down... Positive things can happen but there are some things that we need to handle on our own and maybe if we are lucky and good we will succeed.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
8 Mar 09
Yes, but she was only sixteen at the time, Great! The kid was taken to juvenile court, but he lied to the magistrate, and only ended up receiving twelve months probation. That's all been put behind us now... we can't dwell on negatives if our grandchildren are to find a happy life. I hope that you're successful in your endeavour. It's not nice to be caught in a negative trap, and I believe that in your case, you're doing the right thing. Once that is all over, then you too can put the negatives behind you and adopt a positive attitude. Until then, I send you my Brightest Blessings and healing energies, that you find the strength to get through these difficult times. Take care!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 09
Sounds like you went through quite an ordeal, and you know, with a guiding hand you will be there and your grand daughter will be in good company I presume, in constant contact with your wisdom and of that in the support network that the two of you have developed or are developing. I wish you and her blessings and peace, also... Our world is quite tough enough, with our eyes open now we can make this journey much easier for all. Thank You, Sincerely, Gary
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
9 Mar 09
It wasn't an easy thing for me to do, but you come to a point, as I'm sure you know, where action becomes a necessity and if you think you're the one who has to take that action, then you do. It's animal instinct I suppose, to protect those within your circle of friends and family. So, although it was a bit of an ordeal, it was one that had to be tackled but with forethought. I don't consider that I did anything out of the ordinary, or nothing that any other person would do in the same position... I just thank all those who supported me, and the powers that be, that it turned out the way I had planned. I wasn't the important person here... I've lived a good part of my life, whereas my granddaughter is only just beginning, so my motivation was there, and I wasn't short of help and support. I have the feeling that everything will be fine now. I've seen her grow away from that situation... she'll probably never forget it, but the lesson is always there in future life, so I have good hopes for her, and for her little sister and family. I really do hope the same success for you, my friend. Stay focused and strong, and you too will make it to the light.
@marciascott (25555)
• United States
29 Mar 09
I am glad things worked out I remember you talking about that. I don't really like my daughters Boyfrind, they have a set of twins and another baby, I wish she would do better, but she just loves the ground he walks on.
@Darkwing (21588)
29 Mar 09
It's difficult, Marcia, especially when they have children. Unless the children or the daughter are physically or mentally abused by him, there's not much you can do, or they alienate themselves from you because they think you're interfering. I had to bide my time, and wait for the moment when she wanted to come home, and he try and prevent her from doing things she really had worked hard towards. Then I made my move. If you can't make them see the bad in somebody, or don't let them find out the truth, then it doesn't matter what you do, the relationship will go on. Let's hope this guy turns out to be ok, especially where the kids are concerned. Brightest Blessings my friend and thank you for your contribution.
@GardenGerty (96670)
• Marion, Kansas
28 Mar 09
I have never done quite what you had to do. I am glad that you successfully woke up the abilities and self respect in your granddaughter. It is an exciting trip she is going on. I am sure she is a beautiful girl, inside and out.
@Darkwing (21588)
29 Mar 09
She is now she's moved out of that situation. When I took her home, she told her Mum that I was the best person who could have gone and taken her out of there, and she personally made me a "Thank You" card. I think she must have listened to the lecture I gave her on the doorstep and realised that she had enough back-up to take the bull by the horns and get out of it! I know she'll have a good trip... heck, she flies next Wednesday. She's been packed and ready to go for almost a month and although she's a little apprehensive about the long flight without her parents, I know she'll enjoy herself with her friends. Brightest Blessings, my friend, and thank you for your contribution.
@deeeky (3669)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
12 Mar 09
Believeing in yourself is the best way to pass on good advice that you have experienced from your walk of life. Reading what you have done to turn someone elses life around does you credit indeed. You are an insperation to us all an many blessings to you my friend and to your future success in all you do.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
12 Mar 09
It wasn't so much belief in myself that got me through this situation, my friend, it was the staunch support and well wishes of others, together with belief in my granddaughter which motivated me, finally. I came to thinking that I have a few really strong friends out there, whom I know I can rely on and who really care what happens to me, and also, I thought that I've had a good percentage of my life, and during that time learned a lot of lessons from it, whilst here is my granddaughter, stuck in a no-win situation at the very beginning of her adult life. I had no real care about what happened to me, because I knew I had support and backup in my special friends. She was the important factor here, and what I did was not special, but something which had to be done! In fact, I was quite overcome with the gratitude and recognition bestowed upon me afterwards. Still... all's well that ends well, and now, I hope that she will go on to do great things with her life. After all, that's what matters in the end and what will make me really happy! Brightest Blessings my dear friend, and thank you for your contribution and indeed your support and well wishes. x