If you love someone set them free ?

@ronnyb (6125)
Jamaica
March 7, 2009 6:16pm CST
I have often heard this statement and I am not sure I understand it.To me it sounds opposite to what I would expect from persons who are in love .I am thinking that if you love someone you would want to keep them around you as much as possible but what do I know ,I am no expert So I call upon all the love doctors in the house to weigh in on this discussion and clear up this situation. Well actually everyone is with something to say, is welcomed lol
12 people like this
46 responses
• United States
8 Mar 09
Richard Bach quotes “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” or When you love someone, and you love them with your heart, it never disappears when you are apart. And when you love someone and you've done all you can do, you set them free, and if that love was true... when you love someone it will all come back to you” http://thinkexist.com/quotation/when_you_love_someone-and_you_love_them_with_your/9994.html
2 people like this
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
8 Mar 09
Ok I didnt know thats where that came from ,thanks for the information.I guess thats a good test of your love ,only I dont know if I would never be able to set someone free with the hope that they would come back .Thank you for your response
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
8 Mar 09
To me, that statement means that if you really love someone, you will put their happiness before your own and allow them to spread their wings and fly. If they leave you, but come back, it is meant to be, if nthey don't come back, then it was never meant to be in the beginning.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
2 Apr 09
I like this interpretation and I think that this might be what this statement is trying to convey.Thank you for your response
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
8 Mar 09
Hi ronnyb, I've heard the saying "if you love something set it free, if it returns it is yours, if it doesn't it wasn't yours in the beginning". That may not be the exact wording but it gives the same thought. This might be the same idea applied to a lover or a friend. We must never try to persuade someone to stay with us if they want to leave. If it's right and meant to be they will return but it has to be of their own free will. Only than can there be happiness. Just my thoughts on the subject. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
8 Mar 09
Yes I am hearing it explained like that for quite a few responses .Thank you for your response
@j1106e (53)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
If you love someone set him free, if he comes back to you hes yours if he doesnt he never was. Like you, its hard to understand this statement also. But somehow i did. I have loved someone that i know i can never have for a reason, but i had to let go of him coz i didnt want him to stay with confusion. When we love someone, we have to sacrifice. We want them to be happy even were not a part of their happiness.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35025)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Well, the way I look at this one, is when you are facing a situation in Dating where you have to make a choice, sometimes the Best thing to do is to let someone go, and take time to think about what you really want. And if that person really Loves and cares about you then they will do anything in their power to get you back. But if not, then you are probably best off to let them go as well.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
8 Mar 09
no love dr. here, ronnyb just an old hasbeen but there is more to this statement. i don't know the exact wording but it goes if you love someone set them free & they will come back to you. something like that. have a good one. jo
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
8 Mar 09
for me i agree with that statement. sometime it sound hard to do but if we really into the love we need to sacrifices something. I have done it. I love a girl but at one time sometime happen between us that require me to let her go.. 2 years later we meet again and end up we get marry soon after that. lucky me...
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
8 Mar 09
What that statement means to me is quite simple. If you cannot let them live as they want to live you have not set them free. It does not mean that you should walk away. Not at all. It means that if you truly love someone you will give them your trust completely until they prove they are not worthy of it. If your love wishes to go out with the guy's/girls then they should. It's good for all of us to have friends we can relate to. If they wish to work or join clubs then it should be okay. Setting someone free does not mean letting them go it simply means you trust them enough to let them do what they want and need to do. The less freedom you give by thought word or deed the more imprisoned they will feel and in the end you will pay for it. To set someone free is to trust that when you do they will come back to you. For if they do not you never really had them anyway.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 09
Confucius wrote "Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?" That's a very good question. If we love something so much that we desire to have it all to ourselves, or keep it even when it is not ours to begin with is that not then placing demands upon something and trying to control it? I believe in Agape, and feel that is probably the best form of love. One of my favorite quotes from the Book of the Law is "Love is the law, love under will. Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you! I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset;I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky. To me! To me! The Manifestation of Nuit is at an end". So, in this case, you love all things but you do not claim ownership on the thing you love. If it stays with you, you enjoy it's sweetness but you do not cage it, for a caged Nightengale cannot sing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 09
dove - this is one of the doves that came to see me.
i have always heard it said " if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you then it is your, if it does not then it was never yours to begin with." that is the way that i have always heard it. my mother decided to try this theory on some doves that i gave her for mother's day one year. she let them go and they would come visit her all the time. every time i see a ring neck dove i think of this. a few weeks ago i walked outside the camper and sitting out there were two ring neck doves. it made me think of her and that saying. i seriously doubt that it was her doves but it has a special meaning to me. especially since i am in new mexico and she is in mississippi. i called her and told her about it. she said it was just god's way of saying that he is with me.
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
2 Apr 09
Well that sounds like a true test but it is never easy to do.I am sure there are many who love someone so much that they want to keep them around all the time .I hope this works for real relationships as your doves have demonstarted .Thank you for your response
@Wizzywig (7859)
8 Mar 09
I am absolutely the last person qualified to comment on 'love'- being the old cynic that I am - but, I guess true love for another person means that you will put their happiness above your own. If someone feels the need to go and do their own thing we should respect their wishes and support them rather than restrict them. I think lots of parents have to do this as their children grow up and it is not easy!
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
8 Mar 09
Even if you are the last person to comment you have given a good answer .Thatsa good way to put it ,true love is self sacrifice.Letting someone go though will be hard but you may be right especially parents when you think about the world that you will send your children in.Thank you for responding
@scgodess (105)
• United States
2 Apr 09
When my current husband and I were dating. He was still in the army but getting ready to get out. He had so many job offers for crazy amounts of money in awesome places like Hawaii, Corpus Christi, and Seattle which he said was always his dream place to live. I was going through a divorce, had two kids and was kind of stuck were I was. My husband (boyfriend at the time) told me about all these crazy offers. I told him, "you have to do what's going to make you happy. Those are awesome offers." I made sure he understood that i could never go. He talked about it for a while. Even contacting people in the companies. It killed me to think of him leaving and probably never seeing him again but I told him "i'd rather you go and take the opportunity than to not take it because of me, end up with some job around here you don't like and then blame me for it in the future" He ended up staying with me and we are now married. He did end up with a good job that he does enjoy so i guess everything happens for a reason.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
I would have readily agreed with you on that if I wasn't able to talk to someone in the past that has changed my mind completely about love. I used to believe that you can't force anyone into loving you (I still believe that) and used to believe too that if the one you love has found someone else, then you should let go. My mindset changed when I met several classmates at my MBA degree. They were guys who have had their fair share in life when it comes to love and commitment. They were quite older than me, and more 'experienced'. So, when the question of 'letting go' was posted on them, their answers made me think for a while. They said that letting go is a normal reaction to these types of events. Who'd ever want to be with someone who doesn't love you? But the question is, are you sure they don't love you anymore? or is he just asking you to fight for him? We, as females, have always been the receiver of things for most of our lives. We receive gifts, we receiver complements, we receive love. But men too are human beings, they want to feel love and for us to fight for them (so to speak). Though they don't want catfights or anything like that, but they just want to see (as they stated it) if you are willing to fight for your love. So, ever since that faithful day. I have come to realize that man is weak, they can easily be lured into doing something they don't really intend (except for those who are really thick faced adulterous), so it's a good thing too to fight for that love. But of course, in fighting, one must also understand that there will be a time to let go too. But one point in fighting for love is very important. Know if the one you're fighting for is worth it. If not, let go. So, I'd like to rephrase the statement: If you love someone, fight for that love, if you've done everything (without humiliating yourself or sinking to the lowest level, set them free. hehehehe... Good luck!
• United States
29 Mar 09
There is a difference between being in love and loving someone. If you are in love, yo8 want to be with them All the time, You want to feel what they make you feel, But if you love someone, really love some one, you want their happiness over your own , so if letting them go is the best way for them to find the happiness they seek, you let them go. Example, I Know I never will marry. If a botfriend of mine wanted , I mean Really wantyed to get married and have children, I would let him go, I would miss him but it wouldn't be fair to keep him and not make his dream come true.
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Hi ronnyb! Yes, I have heard that statement since the beginning of time! LOL! I guess what it meant that if you love someone you should give her freedom to grow and be her true self. And with others, it also means that if you love someone and she does not love you back, then let go of her and not to cling on and make her stay with you even if she is not happy anymore. Just a thought. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
@rainmark (4306)
9 Mar 09
In my point of view in this statement is: If you love someone set them free, that if that someone never loved you in return and they love another person. Hoping im right in this idea lolz. happy posting.
@snowcat46 (2323)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Love means letting someone be who they are. If you love someone, forcing them to only talk to who you say, do only what you allow them, work only where you tell them they can isn't really love. If I love someone, is it right for me to force them to only be with me? If they love me, they would want to be with me. If I have to force them to be with me, they don't really love me. If I'm willing to force them, I don't really love them. I just want to possess them. There is a difference between possess and love. I love to write. If my husband forced me to give that up, is he showing me love? Or possession? If I told him he couldn't talk to other women, I'd be pretty immature. (Not to mention, he wouldn't have a job! He's the mechanic for about 30 women!) I'd better be able to trust him!
• India
8 Mar 09
Hello my friend ronnyb Ji, It is a famous quote from : http://thinkexist.com/quotation/if_you_love_someone-set_them_free-if_they_come/224095.html [b]Richard Bach said: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come..." and: “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.” [/b] May god bless you have a great time.
• India
8 Mar 09
Hi ronnyb,your subject is very interesting and i have some thoughts to share with you.If you love someone then you should always want to see him/her with you all the time.But some times it gets necessary to give the person freedom for some of his/her personal works.Otherwise there will be misunderstanding between you and your love.So my opinion is you should want to have your love with you all the time but sometimes you should give your love freedom of doing her/his own work.
@liaamur (420)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
if you love someone, set them free. if he comes back, he's yours. if he doesn't...burn his clothes.