Is Your Marriage Traditional or Non Traditional?

Canada
March 8, 2009 11:10pm CST
My husband and I have the most non-traditional marriage going!!! -My Dad did not walk me down the aisle (there was no aisle, and we both find the tradition to be extremele sexist, and archaic. I'm not interested in having authority transfered from my father to my husband. I have authority over me, and that's final!) -There was no aisle, as we had it in a restaurant. I came in with a friend of mine, and he sat at the head table with us, as he was our entire wedding party, and a mutural best friend -I wore red (none of this white virginal crap for me, thank you ver ymuch!!!) -No veil (head covering dates back to a Christian bible verse about a woman covering her head as a sign of authority) -Wedding ring's on my middle finger (engagement ring and wedding ring are two different colours of metal yellow gold and white gold, wedding band is really thick, and already fit my middle finger so I put it there. Engagement ring is on my ring finger next to it) -We wrote our own vows -We actually got legally married 9 months before the ceremony I'm describing, since I'm Presbyterian, hubby's Mormon and our churches didn't want to get along, but we still wanted a ceremony, so we got the legal stuff done, and did what we wanted in our own time without an officient) -We wrote our own vows -I KEPT MY NAME and don't even think of calling me Mrs. I'm MS!!! -Instead of bridesmaids, because of odd circumstances, all the ladies that I would have liked as BM's got a wrist corsage, and a nice sparkly heart-clip to wear in their hair, that went with the tiara that I wore -Our wedding cake was a Danish marzipan cake with flags and flowers all over it -Hubby's as much of a feminist as I am, and thought this was all absolutely wonderful!! -Oh, and that red dress I mentioned? I designed it myself! A friend of mine made it for me. I drew a picture of what I wanted, and she copied it! She's amazing, and the dress was PERFECT!!! So what kind of wedding did you have? How was it unique? How was it traditional? How did you make it special to YOU and your loved one?
4 people like this
17 responses
• United States
9 Mar 09
mine is non-traditional.. we got married young which isnt typical.. we dont wear rings because we feel that we dont have to show we are married to be married.. we refuse to have kids because of various reasons.. i have a ton of male friends and im a flirt and he doesnt care where traditionally i would be labeled a .... lol.. we had two weddings.. one that was just at his parents house to make it legit and then we had a regular one later on for family.. i didnt want the second wedding but caved into family since i am the only kid my parents have that got married.. you should post pics of your wedding since it sounds really cool and unique
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Mar 09
Sounds cool to me. I do have pictures posted under various wedding-related Mylot interests. Your ideas sound pretty cool. I'd never go without the wedding rings though, because my husband is one of those "nice guys" who just doesn't seem to "know" when a woman is flirting with him. Know what I mean? The "who me? Nah..." type who woudln't know a flirt when he saw one, because he doesn't think he's worth flirting with. I've had to nail him a few times, and let him know that a woman was pushing a bit too hard. Also, our rings are sentimental. They belonged to my grandparents who had been married for 63 years. They're also nice and BIG, so for the reason I mentioned above, one can't possibly miss them!!! :) "Misunderstood flirts" aside, I like having something that shows we are TOGETHER somehow, something that isn't a matching last name. LOL The rings are so bloody BIG that they are impossible to miss. Also, because of the age difference (I'm 27, he's almost 63) I want people to understand we're MARRIED, otherwise, they'd assume he's my father. ROFLMAO
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 09
well funny thing is that when we wore our rings we had mroe problems with people flirting and trying to break us up than we do now.. we got married when i was 17 and him 19 and most people took it upon themselves to try to "Test" our marriage to see if we were legit because people felt with our age that the first little spat we would divorce.. so when we stopped wearing our wedding rings no one saw us as a challenge to try to get.. my hubby is stupid too when it comes to people flirting with him but thats the same with or without a ring.. i have a bigger problem with the women that know he is married and go after him since they knew him enough to know he is married since he doesnt wear any rings.. thats cool that its your grandparents rings!! im not a jewelry person and with fibro i dont like feeling it against my skin either..
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@winterose (39918)
• Canada
17 Mar 09
I got married in the church chapel, I was pregnant I wore a blue dress and a hat, we had to witness my grandmother and grandfather, and the dean who married us, I took my husband's name gladly because I wanted no part of my name which belonged to a father that disowned me when I was nine years old. But even though I am divorced now, I keep roach except where the government is concerned they don't acknowledge a woman's married name only her name at birth.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
i was never married..never thought of getting married at all..but if i ever change my mind and say yes to the right one i guess just like yours, i don't want it to be extra special..i just want small wedding with family and close friends..i don't want a big church ceremony, i just want a civil one..i don't ever wanna walk in the aisle nor exchange vows( i don't believe in it ) i don't wanna wear wedding gown (that's a no no) i just want a simple dress...no special anything..just plain and simple..
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 09
Mine was traditional, it was in December during Christmas time.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Mar 09
i did marry,but from your words ,i can see how happiness from marriage, in china today there are usally two spot,one spot is traditioanl and the other is non-traditonal.more happiness to catch u
1 person likes this
@Vladilyich1 (1454)
• Canada
9 Mar 09
A couple of things you didn't mention about the second wedding, 1) It was the first time I ever met ANY of your family. I'd spoke with you mother a couple of times after you ran away to another country :) but we had never met. 2) The traditional Danish KRANSEKAGE (pronounced KON-SE-Kay-A) is an absolutely fantastic treat made of a stack of "bagels" of pure baked marzipan (almond paste). We had almost none left. 3) Instead of hiring a photographer, we invited guests to either bring their cameras or borrow a couple of ours. The pictures came out fabulous. Since we had already been married for a year in the U.S., out "do-it-yourself" ceremony at the Danish restaurant was absolutely perfect.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Hi Doll As you know Sweets it no longer matter what it is/was! Life is not always what we see it to be.. Like a movie when you are in the scene you can not see the horror hiding in the shadows... it's only when you are outside it that you see it clearly. xoxoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jul 09
hmmm i'm still single but i would really like to keep my wedding as simple as possible. traditional or non traditional way i don't care as long as i know that my man boyfriend loves me and will go on loving me until the rest of my life i don't care. goodluck with your marriage
3 Jul 09
We got married abroad with no family or friends there - just us two which was ace - lounging by the pool all morning....hearty breakfast and lunch before a simple ceremony follwed by drinks until the early hours!! It was great fun and I also didn't wear a veil just a nice sparkly headband! Our wedding cake was a antiguan rum cake and OMG it was delicious - I brought some home with us but, I had eaten quite a bit before we travelled home as it was just so nice. Mmmm. Anyways yes it wasn't really a traditional wedding and I think you have to do it the way suits you best rather than the way other people expect as then you enjoy your own wedding more! x
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
3 Jul 09
Well, traditional it was not LOL Although hubby went to Portugal for us to get married, we actually ended up not getting married at all - I really didn't want to come here among other things - and indeed we actually ended everything at that time. Just to end up getting married by proxy less than two months after - Yeah that's how it went LOL He was here, I was there, and my dad was the one signing the papers. Dress? No special dress. Veil ? of course not. No wedding band if I remember correctly, got it when I came here. I did get his name because I liked it more than my own.We did go out for dinner but that was about it. No wedding cake. WHen I came here it was two months after we had gotten married. I wasn't expecting any special celebration and had none, so it was exactly the way I expected it to be.We actually went on our "honeymoon" the next year. I guess that's as non-traditional as it comes :) Still we've been together for the last 25 years, no difference from anyone that had a traditional wedding.
• United States
29 Mar 09
Fantastic! Wearing red at a wedding is a sign of happiness in China,Me, I am your polar opposite when it comes to marriage. I am very old fashioned I Never will marry because to me it means the lost of choice over everything expect my lovers, It would Have to be arranged, it would probably be under his religion , not mine, The dress? probably white and I would gain his name, I am a male chauvinist already so I would assume my husband would rule over me as a husbanf would, And marriage is set up to have children , it is not love based. That's why I will never marry, I am glad you and hubby are happy and that your wedding was perfwect. It is good to see that a marriage based on love can last,Me, I rather keep love and marriage seoparate.
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
20 Mar 09
I was married twice and got married both times at the court house downtown. The REALLY unique thing about that is that the same officiant married me both times!! With my second marriage, we were married at the court house and then had a small ceremony at the chuch a couple of months later and everyone thought that we were just getting married, since we had told no one that we had gone to the court house. Our ceremony was rather different since I had 4 small children and they were part of the ceremony. My invitations were from them, inviting everyone to the wedding, to begin with. My 3 daughters were my maids of honor and I dressed them in white, since I wasn't. My son carried the rings,with my brother's assistance to get them when needed. My own dress was black and dark green, which my mother had some rhyme that said something like "married in black, marriage won't last"......or something similar!! I would say that just short of 7 years is not very lasting!!
@j47lee (742)
• Canada
9 Mar 09
I had a traditional marriage... six months before that i had my civil marriage.... my parents were not here so we had to wait till my parents got here to have the traditional one..... wanted to have a small wedding... but it was impossible what with having sooo many relatives on both sides of the family...... we had all the walking down the aisle... but i didnt cover my face up with the veil... my niece was my bridesmaid..... as all my good friends were not here.... i had the garden picture.... had a dinner reception..for over 400 people.... lol.. i know its huge crowd ... told ya both our families are huge.... anyway by the end of the day... i was ready to drop off....
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
9 Mar 09
My wedding certainly was not traditional. I actually had no ceremony what so ever. There was so much drama surrounding our wedding plans that it was all far too hectic. I already had a son before I met my husband, and of course I was not raised to believe you had to be married in order to have children. I got with my husband, knew right off the bat he was the perfect man for me, so planned to have another child, which turned out to be twins. During that pregnancy my husband's old fashioned parents started pushing us to get married. They'd planned out the whole wedding without even consulting us first. Of course neither one of us wanted that. I wasn't ready to think about marrying him until after my twins were born. We began thinking about our plans, and occasionally we'd run our ideas past other people. Everyone we knew had somehing to say about our plans. His parents didn't want to travel to a destination we'd chosen to hold our wedding, his sister wouldn't go if his aunt did. My mother saw no sense in me marrying him, she thought we were doing just fine as we were, just dating without being married. So one day, without telling a soul, me, him, and our 3 kids went down to the court house. He wore a button up white shirt with some slacks. I wore black slacks and a pretty top, no dress. We were married by the Justice of the Peace and his secretaries were our witnesses. We had fake rings we'd ordered off e-bay which turned our fingers green and we soon had to stop wearing them. I got my engagement ring that following Christmas, I still have no wedding ring. He got his wedding ring... I believe it was nearly a year later for Valentine's day. We've been married almost 6 years this May. We have no regrets.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Well, my wedding was a traditional wedding ,but the two of us are very modern. We had a cuban cater and all my family and friends were invited. I had a white dress and my husband had a black tuxedo ,and we had a wonderful time. We are catholic ,but we got married in an Episcopal church since I really didn't feel like going to all these marriage classes that in my opinion are a waste of time. I have been married for 23 years and I didn't need any of those classes. I had a photographer who took wonderful pictures of the wedding since is wonderful to have memories of our wedding. Our wedding was simple ,but full of love surrounded by family and great friends.
• Australia
9 Mar 09
My husband & I got married in the registry office with only 3 friends present to witness. I crocheted my wedding dress - it was white & to the knees. I had no veil & instead of a bouquet of flowers, I held a small lacy & decorated umbrella. My husband doesn't wear a wedding ring due to his line of work. I took on my husband's last name & that's about it.
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
9 Mar 09
Our wedding was helt at church and kind of traditional - here the father of the bride doesn't give her to the husband *lol* the couple go down the aisle (or to the person that preformed the marrige) by them selves. I didn't have brides maides - we had a flower girl, and my cousin helped my husband since he was in a wheel chair due to a surgery the day before (appendicitus). I kept my name and don't wear my rings at all.