What Should I do Now?

should I forget him? - if he's afraid of commitment
Philippines
March 11, 2009 12:40am CST
Hello, dear friends! In my recent discussions, I've told you about my ex who eventually became my "special friend". Just the other day, he visited me and I can say that we had a good bonding time and of course we had a good talk. We talked about our "special condition" and the relationship that we had. He admitted that he love me but he is afraid to have a relationship due to our disabilities and the responsibilities that comes with it. He's afraid that he might not fulfill it due to his own disability(he's got polio while I'm cerebral palsied)We agreed to continue the "special friendship" that we have. What should I do now friends? Should I learn to forget him now that I know he is afraid of commitment? Please share your thoughts on this. Thanks a lot in advance! Godspeed...
2 people like this
9 responses
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi my friend Llonorra, If you love him even though it hurts you will understand everything. Maybe it's meant for you in the end or not. Well I don't want you to expect, but sometimes time and space helps to weigh things for a men point of view. Especially when you just want the best for your love. Let him think my friend. He knows there is one Llonorra in this world. I wanna see you happy my friend and you deserve to be happy. There is a phrase in the bible IN TIME. That time will come I know. God bless!
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
You never cease to touch me friend... Talking to him made me understood him more. Even though it hurts me a lot I understood and accept everything about him n30wing. I don't know what's with him that made me understand him easily. To tell you honestly I never got angry with him when he ended our relationship then. Instead, I easily found it in my heart to understand and forgave him for what he has done to me. I know he is a good man and he has proven that when he came here. He never took advantage of me. Instead, he has shown me a lot of respect. Thanks for you response my friend...
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
My friend I think his a nice man. He loves you and respects you. He will be your friend a lasting friendship my friend. Seldom you could see a man like that, and your lucky! Cheer up okay! You take care!
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Yes he is really a very good man and I know that I'm very lucky to have him as a friend.. I just hope that everything will be okay for us. Thanks again bro! God bless you...
@mansha (6301)
• India
11 Mar 09
I am glad as you found love in a friend, I can understand what a dilemma you are in but I also feel that yes relationship is a huge word better take it as it comes. Continue with your special friendship and see where it will lead you both too. Do not hurry anything niether breaking up nor commitment , even people who have no disability commitment is a real big issue perhaps with his disability he feels inadeqaute to support you, just give both of you some more time. I wish you all the best and shall pray for you both that you find happiness with each other.
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Yes, I know that mansha. That's why I don't want to put any pressure on him. I want to have a relationship with him in his own freewill and not because he's forced to do so. I'll just take each day as it comes, and of course ask GOD for HIS guidance. Thanks for your response my friend!
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
14 Mar 09
jUst be careful do not tie your happiness with his , that will only lead to misery for you both. Give each other space too, I hope you two find happiness in life.
@vheilugto (149)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
i'm going to be straight to you ha, let him go. because he's not a man, if he really loves you, whatever the case is, he will pursue you. . it juts only a reason, okey? don't be fooled. sorry for the word, but it true? juts think about it. .
• Philippines
13 Mar 09
Don't worry I'll think about it. Thanks for your response my new friend!
• China
12 Mar 09
Friend,first,I think he is really love you so that he gave you no promise.Because the disabilities of two of you,maybe he reckon that he can't take care of you and give you the happiness(including the material and phychological things you want).maybe you'll think i'm a realist.But that's a reality.In my opinion,now that you love each other,the foremost you should do is take care of yourselves,then you have the ablility to take care of each other.So stick to what you go in for in your heart,never give up him,sincerely bless you,hope you'll happy for ever!
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Yes I understand your point my friend. I will never give up on him as long as he needs me even as a friend! Thanks for your response my friend!
@gracie04 (4554)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Your present condition shouldn't be a hinder.. if you really love the person then go! your ex shouldn't be afraid of loving you.. i mean he can still do his obligations as a bf inspite of having disabilities.. i've been seeing a lot of people who are into this kind of relationship and they seem very happy.. just ask for God's guidance, i'm sure everything's gonna be alright..
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Yes, for now, that's all that I can do.... Thanks my friend!
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Love is love, why should we all afraind of all the conditions that imposed upon us. Don't be afraid to love. If he loves you, and you love him accordingly. Why not try to be passionate with all you can to offer. You should not regret, neither did him. Love is once a life time.
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Hello clorissa! Maybe it will take time before he realizes that. Let's just hope for the best my friend....
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
11 Mar 09
I don't understand why this man is so afraid of commitment. Since you admit both of your are in a special condition, being physically handicap, there should not be any problem for him to accept you as both know and can accept each other shortcomings well. I see he needs strong assurance from you that you need him as much as he needs you. You can say that out to him and see the changes in his face that glows with happiness.
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
I understand his reasons Zandi, He is just afraid that he can't take care of me in case emergency situations may come our way. Maybe I'll just pray harder and ask God for his guidance.. Thanks a lot my friend...
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Even if you try to forget him and all.. what if THE man up there has plans for both of you? If you were meant to be together, nature will look for a way to bring you together. Pray a lot so you should be guided.
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Thanks a lot my friend... I'm really praying hard for it right now...
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
14 Mar 09
Maybe the 2 of you need some type of counseling, or talk to someone who you know through your disabilities. They might be able to help the 2 of you resolve this problem between the two of you. You 2 know how to handle situations with your disabilities. Talk with your family members. If the 2 of you love each other, try to work it out. Good luck to you.