what you think i should do or what would you do ?

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as of late i've dealing with issue with my son, his wife and my daughter. well my daughter in law dont like my daughter which is ok, but my daughter haven't started of late. but my son and his wife will invite all the cousins over to thier place except my daughter and it makes one cousin feel like he's have to pick, but with me my son and his wife don't tell the boys when we are around them, they pretty much dont call me or my wife grandma and grandpa. so when we try to hold the oldest one he screams and cry and my son come over to me and him he just say its alright, not its alright its grandpa. but i do remember when we been around them at thier place which they live with her mom, they do reply to her brother as uncle and her best friend as aunt. even her own aunts and uncles get called the same, but not my wife, my daughrter or me. we;ve told them we specaily me not feeling like a grandpa, ive heard its up to us to feel like grandparents. but my thing is if he and his wife dont reply to us to the kids we are grandma and grandpa its hard to feel like one they will also go out of their way for her family, but tells us we have to come there to see the boys. they havent to our house since chritmas, and they wont because of my daughter i've had told him before how and why i feel this way, nothing change. so my wife wants me to ask him to go with me to my sherk and try one more time. so i am thinking of it, and if nothing change then i am done trying if i see my son and grandkids fine if not then i need to pray my daughter get married and have kids. what do you think ? and how would you deal with it?