A friend with a past of dangerous driving
March 11, 2009 11:42am CST
Yesterday my friend asked when I was going to go in his car again. I have some terrible memories of his dangerous driving and back in October he scared me so much that I did say I would never go in his car again. One of the worst times he was driving along and he went to wrong way. He shock the steering wheel and the car went from side to side in a terrifying way. Then he drove down a bus only lane. Next he went down a one way road the incorrect way, nearly hit a car coming the other way and drove across a pavement. The next time we had taken my two dogs to the beach and he was driving along a road when he came across some parked cars that meant he and another driver coming the other way couldn't move. The other driver wanted him to reverse so my friend swore at him and got out of his car. It looked like he was going to punch the other driver. I got out of his car a ran off across a park and got to a pub where I went to the ladies toilets for my own safety. The worst time for other people was when he jumped a red light but pedestrians were crossing. He had to swerve his car to avoid hitting a man and two children. I feel apprehensive about going in his car again given how angry he can get sometimes. I could walk away on the street if walking but feel trapped in his moving car if all is going wrong. The road my close goes out into has traffic calming measures. There is a part where one driver has priority and the other must wait. But in the past he hasn't waited and I thought of the possibility of a head on collision. At the other end of that road are bumps so he wouldn't be likely to want to go down there. What do you think I should say to him when he asks me to go in his car again? Do you think that me not going on his car has made him understand I think it is too dangerous?
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
11 Mar 09
Sounds like this guy has some serious road rage issues he needs to address..if He hasn't done anything to sort this out in the intervening time since you last ran away in fear from his Passenger seat,I doubt very much since he had no respect for your safety or others last time,if things have changed for the better since...I'm surprised He's managed to avoid a serious collision thus far (NOT an "Accident"-the way you describe it,He drives like He's in a Tank,fully protected from the world outside..cars are not tanks,they're not suits of Armour-You are NOT Invincible..Car design and passenger safety measures can only do so much to protect you..drive offensively and You will likely become another crash statistic.. Tell Him You don't need to be impressed by his driving..If You intend to get in with Him again,do it on the understanding it's not a race to get there,and allow plenty of time so that highway pursuit speeds aren't needed..but if you're asking my advice- take a Taxi!
11 Mar 09
He driving was so crazy but when I made a comment his driving got way more dangerous. Therefore after he backed into the post officer gate and he shouted at me whilst going too fast I stayed silent. I was frozen with fear. Yes, I will say to him his driving is way too dangerous. I hope you are having a lovely day.
• United States
12 Mar 09
I think that you are doing the best thing for your own safety by staying out of his car when he is driving. If he asks you again, tell him, straight out that his driving is way too dangerous and you are not going to put yourself into such a dangerous situation. If you have already told him this and he is still asking, each time he sks, reply with, "Have you learned how to be more careful while driving?" I do not think that it would be wise to get into the car with him again unless either you are driving, or you have seen proof that he has really calmed his driving down. You may not be able to control his actions, but you can protect yourself, and by staying out of th vehicle when he is behind the wheel, you are doing just that. He is lucky that he hasn't killed himself or anyone else, and if he doesn't slow it down and calm it down, one day, his luck will run out.
12 Mar 09
Wow! This man should not have a licence. I would never get in his car. I'll do the driving thank you! I prefer to do the driving. I feel I need to have control. I have a hard time getting in someone else's car unless they are very good drivers. And not everyone is a good driver unfortunately.
12 Mar 09
This friend sounds somewhat unstable to me. I guess at your age it's your decission as to whether or not you drive with him. I'd personally prefer you do Not. It is however your responsibility however to not let your chilkdren or pets in his vehicle again, because driving like this is just not cool and someone some day will get hurt. This could be avoided. I guess at my age I see things in a different light than that of someone in their thirties, but I hope you give this some thought I really do. Take Care dear.
12 Mar 09
Dear friend, I suggest you not to go on ride by reading your past experience. Life is so precious you do not spoil it. Last time you might lose your life. If your friend will again drive in wrong way, you might get conviction in police case which may spoil your career. So please avoid it as you can.
12 Mar 09
Hi maxine! Oh I could understand why you wouldn't want to get in his car again. I wouldn't either if he behaves that way when driving. I do think that he is reckless and can be a danger not to himself but to others too. Just stay away from his car and hopefully he gets the message. And hopefully upon realizing that, he will change. Take care and have a great day! lovelots..faith
12 Mar 09
Hi maximax8, I wouldn't go in his car again if I were you as he might end up killing you, people like him should not be allowed to drive, he is a danger to other road users and pedestrains, I would report him. People like him makes me feel so angry. IDIOT!!! Tamara
12 Mar 09
I felt afraid and shocked after reading your story. I never thought that there are people like your friends who drives dangerously. I understand that he might just be showing concern when he asks you if you want to ride in his car again. But if I were you I will no longer ride in his car. The way you will explain things to him and talk to him depends on how close are you. If you are so close with each other then you can just say "I love my life, I don't want to die yet." That is what I tell to my close friends. if I want to avoid "things" they do but against my will or I just don't like. If in case I am not too close with my friend I will just say humbly that I have better or other things to do. I will always say excuses to my friend until such time he or she realizes what is wrong and then he/she will ask more. I don't know how to start a sensitive conversation so I do it in a reverse way: they will be the one to ask me what the problem is then that is the time I am going to insert the topic about the problem I have with them. I think if you have the guts or the courage, you can sit down with your friend and talk to him. Tell him that it is not right to drive fast or being that rude in the road. He might have his day or might have accident or kill other people. We never know the future. We never know what will happen to us. But we always know how to prepare and how to be good today and correct what we are doing. That is I think what is the best we could do.
12 Mar 09
I would insist that he retakes his driving test and also, some anger management counselling before getting in his car again. I wouldn't want to put myself in such danger, but if you like the guy, then perhaps you should explain gently how you see what happens to him when he's at the wheel of his car. He's his own worst enemy really, and probably doesn't even realise what he's doing. I'm sure if you did it in a friendly way, then he might begin to consider improving his driving attitude. Brightest Blessings and good luck, my friend.
12 Mar 09
maximax8, How in the world did he get his licence in the first place? He doesn't seem to even have an inkling knowledge of the local highway code. Even if he had gotten his licence in a legitimate way (which I doubt it) he would be the next likely 008 candidate that is if James Bond ever got terminated. Boy, I can see the slogan now, have car can kill. Driving to Kill 008!! Road rage and his misdemeanors aside, he is definitely not fit to be behind the steering wheel and you have better not be in his car again. Lest you feel that you have 9 lives to spare and just could not wait to have another exhilarating moment of living end to end. Just be frank with your comments and on his face BUT not in his car, of course. Tell him honestly and do not evade. Avoiding him is not the solution and if I can help it, I will be reporting him to the traffic authorities and have his licence suspended and for him to take a test again. He is just too dangerous to be on the road driving! Take care and be safe.