Is Your Husband King of Your Castle...

United States
March 11, 2009 1:53pm CST
My Grandmother told me no matter what you do as a married women you make sure you make your husband the King of your house hold. Rub his feet when he gets home from work, run his bath water cook his dinner, obey, and be submissive. I thought Grandma times have changed. But I can say she has been married for over 30 years and they have a very stable union... so ladies I ask is that common in your home to treat your husband like a King... And men do your wives treat you like Kings... and if so do you think men these days really deserve to be treated as such I am new at this and sometimes I think I am the King and my husband is the Queen because all those things I mentioned above he does for me... Should I reverse the roles or keep the same?
2 people like this
16 responses
• Malaysia
12 Mar 09
Time is changing and those where the days when men were treated as king of the household. But giving them this title reduce us women to be their obedient servants which is no longer applicable in this modern age. A husband and wife should be having the same level of treatment and no less or more. We are but a partnership in marriage.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 09
Alot of people on here are saying servants I don't view a women treating her husband good as being a servant. maybe its because I say treat him like a king I don't think a women should be labled a servant that just sounds harsh lol but I do beleive in this modern age us getting away from doing those things may contribute to the high rate of divorce do you think because some men don't get that special treatment at home things tend to sour?
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 09
I believe strongly that when men don't get good treatment from their wives they will look for pleasure outside. So I would tell all women to be more passionate to their husbands if they don't want to be saddled by unnecessary emotional heartaches which can be disastrous to the strong foundation of a marriage.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
12 Mar 09
there is no way i would do all that for any man. adults should take care of their own needs. i mean once in awhile it is nice to do something special but i was not put on this earth to cowtail to a man. now, children i do not mind doing things for because they need help and guidance and they are appreciative. God bless your grandma but it would not be me!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 09
LOL so you don't see yourself rubbing his feet after he work, or running his bath water or making sure his dinner was cooked to each is own Im not knocking it.. some people are like that and some men like their women like that as well... but some don't deserve a women doing those things for especially if they are not providers... and in this day and time most men are not the providers women are LOL thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@yyc4220 (43)
• China
12 Mar 09
As a married man, I don't like my wife behave as a servant. But I'd like her to do something for me, as well as I do something for her. For example, I'll do cooking when I go home earlier than her, while she does inversely. Man and woman come together because they love each other. Because of love, they can do anything for each other. We have been married for more than two years and vey happy. I think we will keep these for ever.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 09
Awww that is really sweet you take care of your wife glad to hear that. alot of people take marriage or granted I hope you guys last as well
• United States
12 Mar 09
I think that is a good key to every marriage, but I also think we the wives should be treated as good as equal. It would be nice for a simple "thank you" and " I appreciate what you do for me" every now and again..LOL.. My husband goes to work. he makes the money. I clean, take care of the kids and we take turns cooking.On his days off we do things as a family. So, I think if you both share the chores, and be appreciative then your marriage will be great. Oh, I have been with my husband for 5 years married, and 9 years not married. I am only 25 also and he is 23. We have 3 kids together and a long life ahead of us..LOL.. I do like this discussion though. Oh and if it means anything, my grandma thinks the same, although she agrees with me also:)
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 09
Oh wow you guys have been together since kids that is soo cute... that just like my husbands grandmother and father, they were together for 60 years... its all about compromising I agree and having a plan. I feel like you said we both should contribute, he should rub my back and I should rub his :o)
@UK_Shree (3604)
11 Mar 09
I think every woman should treat her husband how she sees fit to treat him, because every woman and every relationship is different. I don't think there is any reason to be submissive as times have definitely changed, and if women were still submissive they wouldn't be able to have certain jobs like in management for example. And plus, I might like a foot massage once in a while too!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 09
I wish I could be more submissive... but I'm very strong headed and willed and sometimes I think that puts some strain on the relationship. I love it when a man tells me what to do not the other way around... and right now I don't tell him what to do but I have control of most things in my household... hes just a very good quite and passive man... I want to show him he is my king... maybe I will give him that Massage once in a while like he does me lol.. :o)
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25889)
• Canada
11 Mar 09
are you kidding me? seriously, my hubby and i are equal partners. we are a team and team mates do the same amount of work as each other. he does all the cooking and i do a lot of the other household work and we have been married for 21 years.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 09
Really he does all the cooking, so does my husband isn't that crazy you would think it would be the other way around...
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
11 Mar 09
Thankfully times have changed. We women are no longer servants or slaves to our husbands. I think if you want to do things for your partner thats fine. But it shouldn't be expected and it should be appreciated. When I was married (for over 20 years) I didn't treat my husband as king. We both worked, so he didn't deserve any more special treatment than I did. From what I've heard his new lady is much more submissive than I was. LOL Thats ok, she can have him. He was more jailer than king anyway.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 09
I guess it would be ok to be a domestic wife if the men today where true providers.. and I can't blame it on all but sum... the economy has gotten so bad its hard to have a man with a good job take care of his family by himself anyway... but your right it should be equal and if I treat him well he should treat me well too
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 09
I love to do nice things for my husband and he loves to do nice things for me. I do try and have a meal for him when he gets home, and I have been known to rub his back when he gets home but he can draw his own bath water. I think that it can be taken to far. as a spouse there should be some equity in the relationship. My husband treasures me and I him but as far as being each other servants, it doens't happen and I am fine with that. I think it is the little things that matter more than the big ones. I know women who obey their husbands in the current sense of the word and others who do it as the Bible intends. You should not reverse roles with your husband but you should (and most likely do)find things to do for him. If he cooks then you do the dishes. stuff like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 09
I love to do things for my husband to but most of the time he doesn't let me. infact he does it before I can get to it and going back to what my Grandmother said makes me think I don't treat him as well maybe its a insecurity and I don't want him to get tired you know, so maybe I will take your advise and find things I can do for him
1 person likes this
@Naylani (111)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Personally, I don't think there is a standard for couples married or not. In relationships, you should do what works for you and your mate. If a more traditional approach works for a couple, then they should continue with what's keeping the relationship going strong. On the other hand, if a couple enjoys a more modern and innovative approach, and it works, then for heaven sake's keep doing that. In my opinion there are too many broken homes in our society because couples listen to what others think will work for their relationship instead of listening to each other. I mean sure, the old school approach has worked, but I believe that couples should treat each other like royalty of the castle.
• United States
12 Mar 09
I agree what works for some don't work for others and its all about how you communicate with each other... because their are some things I would love to do for my husband but he doesn't really show interest and then their are other things he is really into... so its all about the couples and what works for them Thanks for sharing
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
12 Mar 09
My husband treats me like a queen/princess. Although my husband treats me so good, that doesn't mean I will treat him bad. It is not a rule that if one side of the relationship dominates another side would mean a bad relationship. I treat my husband so good and sometimes he thinks he is a king in our house too. I would let him be a king on some situations. It could balance our relation. Happy myLotting:))
• United States
12 Mar 09
Thats right I think sometimes a women should let their husbands feel like they are kings in certian situations only because thats how men get their confidence
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
12 Mar 09
It depends. If the man deserved to be treated like that and I was home all day being supported I might consider it. However, when I was working full time and long hours then no I did not do those things. It is hard enough to work full time and do housework without being a slave as well. It also depends on the man. I know some men who would treat their wives like servants if they acted like that and others who beat their wives for the slightest mistake. I do not believe that men deserve to be kings just because they are men, that idea is old and gone and in the modern world where both partners work it is no longer appropriate. Women who have careers are unwilling to give it all up just to be house wives. But there are some, like myself, who would happily have been housewives but never got married. The world your grandmother belonged to did not allow women to do anything else. They had no chance to have education and careers. Even in my mothers day women were supposed to leave work once they married and be content with nothing but being a house wife. They had very little education unless their parents were wealthy enough to keep them at school. To base this on gender is wrong. There are quite a few men who would happily stay at home and do all that for a wife who worked. People should do as they feel is right not follow outmoded gender bias. A stable marriage is one where both partners respect each other and are bonded in friendship.
• United States
12 Mar 09
Well I try to treat him like a king even though I work all day, I mean when I get home some times I am tired, so I rest a little bit and try to make sure he is taken care of and he does the same thing for me. but I agree with you its easier when your a stay at home wife because you can pace yourself throughout the day and take care of home needs and not worry about a job, but you know working at home is just like having a full time job its alot of work especially if you have kids
@mimiang (3777)
• Philippines
10 Apr 09
He is and I am the queen of our kingdom
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
10 Apr 09
While it is true that you should treat your Hubby well, as he should treat his wife well, I don't go in for the whole rubbing feet, running his bath or obeying. I treat my Hubby the way I want him to treat me. We're equals so I guess he may be the King but I'm the Queen and we run things together. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@bunnybon7 (38384)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Mar 09
oh that is quite wonderful. i think if a man treats you well and provides yes he should be the king and you the queen. you must have a good relationship.
@Duckbill (31)
• China
12 Mar 09
Hey, Lady. It's the first day I come here; and this is the first thing I read. Yes, it's really something people who do cherish family should think about. For me, though I haven't married yet, my boyfriend and I have been living for 3 years. Man and woman gives birth to each family; gives birth to the world. So I wanna say is the called King differs between you and your husband with time and matters. All the people have their strengs and weaknesses; all have to be fronted with hardships... when the time comes that you may support your husband, he became the king who needs help; when the time comes that you needed his help, then he would become the King who gives a hand to his beloved Queen... Things tend to be easier, if we see it this way. well, in our everday life. Everything we do is to make life better, to make love better, isn't it? Each person has a specific way for him or her. So, Do find our own way. I believe, you're the queen in your husband's heart and soul. Best wishes!!
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
12 Mar 09
You have written that your grandmother has been married for 30years and gave you that bit of advice.So, I would very much like to hear what she would say to your "I think I am the King and my husband is the Queen because all those things I mentioned above he does for me.."-- Tell us all what she had to say to what you have written. As far as my opinion is concerned I feel that both husband and wife, if they treat each other as individuals who have a right to thought word and action within the boundaries stipulated in a normal marriage,is sensitive to each other's personal space , this is more than enough [for me.] I advocate neither queenly/Kingly treatment nor a 'doormat' type of treatment ..