Advice please

@enola1692 (3325)
United States
March 12, 2009 8:56am CST
I have raised my daughters to be unlike some of thier grandparents an some of thier uncles an to be color blind to look at a person for who they are not what church or color they are an I know I am doing right by them but my daughter has been dating a nice black boy for over a year now an now what i need help with is I know these two love each other because I also know my daughter broke up with the boy to make some of the family members happy but she was broken hearted well she is back with Patrick an now the family is sending her emails telling her she is wrong an I guess its moms fault what can i say to make my daughter feel better I know she loves this boy but wants to keep the peace in the family but if the family had thier way she would be with a baptist white boy who makes alot of money be the way as my friend know I am not baptist so I already been told I need to get right also
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
22 Mar 09
First, how old is your daughter? Because if she is a teenager this relationship is probably temporary. If she were in her twenties and ready for something serious then she and the guy would have to ask themselves if they are up to the challenge. As long as your daugher is young and casually dating it really doesn't matter who she goes out with because it is casual and it's really no one's business as long as the person she is dating shares your same values. You also have to consider where it is that you live and how the community at large feels about mixing as such. The only thing you can say to your daughter is for her to be true to herself. It's those other busybodies that need a good talking to.
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
24 Mar 09
she is 16 an been with this boy for over a year an she swears this is the one he seems like a nice boy he is always polite when he comes around But like I told my daughter she is 16 how dose she know he is the one an as far as my hubby's family is concern my daughter tries to ignore it she knows how they are
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
24 Mar 09
Of course he's the one! She is 16! You know how that goes. By 12 everything in life becomes high drama and at 16 kids think they are equal to adults and that they have learned everything and they are mature and their parents are just trying to spoil their fun... I think the more of an issue you and your husband make of ther seriousness of the relationship the more dramatic she will become. You have to back off a bit and let her figure out for herself that this relationship is neither permanent or serious. We're not living in little houses on the prairie where kids get married in their teenage years and start a family. As long as you are setting the example when it comes to respecting diversity on all fronts she can have a green boyfriend from another planet as long as he is respectful and treats her right, etc. The thing to concentrate on is making sure she has had a good foundation and that her choices reflect the values you have tried to instill in her. Teenagers break up constantly and make up and each new relationship is more serious than the previous one. Her priority right now is to make good grades, be a good person with good habits and get out of high school. Tell the family members to mind their own business and just be there for your daughter when she needs your support. Sometimes it is enough just to listen to kids vent and make very little comment about what they are going through because they really just need to vent and they are still learning how to figure out things for themselves.
@zabawaus (1734)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Hello enola1692, Well i guess you should only say to your daughter is that you are next to her to support any decision she will have , But i guess you should speak with the other family members who are against this relationship. We are living in 2009 and they better stop doing this racism !!! You should tell them they better be a human , they better be a nice person before being a baptist! God never separates people according to their colors so it is not human right to do so!! Have a nice day!!
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
12 Mar 09
My daughter knows I will stand by her no matter what an I so agree with you this is 2009 not 1809 thank you for your response
1 person likes this