What's the difference between a true friend and an acquaintance?

@MichGurl (144)
United States
March 12, 2009 9:17am CST
I've been dealing with quite a bit of stress in my life and it seems like my so-called friends are dropping like flies which makes me wonder if they were ever friends to begin with or if perhaps they were simply acquaintances. But for months now I've been dealing with my divorce, my parents divorce, a grandmother whose been in and out of the hospital, another grandmother whose now been in the hospital for a month and a half, and on top of that the people I thought were friends are simply kicking me while I am down. These are people that I have known anywhere from five years (give or take) to almost twenty years! In the end I've been hurting a lot over the things I've been dealing with in my personal and family life, but the fact that the people I considered to be great friends just don't seem to care has been quite a bit more than I expected, so I wanted to pose this question to everyone on here and get their opinions. So what is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance? What in your opinion makes a good friend? Thanks in advance to those who reply and Happy MyLotting! ~Dee~
3 responses
• United States
12 Mar 09
The acquaintances will drop off, the true friends will not. Just be glad you have been given the opportunity to know the difference. I just hope that you have not become a toxic friend yourself, through this.
@MichGurl (144)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Hello searchingwithin and thank you for your response! I also agree with this, but I am a bit unsure as to what you mean by being a "toxic friend". I know where my so-called friends are concerned, that we have always had that friendship where we didn't hang out often, but we always kept in touch through phone calls, emails,etc. But it seems like as soon as I left my husband and we started the divorce process my friends just completely turned their backs on me and I don't understand why. But not even just that, it almost seems like they were looking for excuses to do it as the reasons they have given were extremely petty. For instance, the one and only friend that I've ever had that was a girl got peeved at me over a text message. A guy that I've known for twenty years (give or take) got angry because I wanted to know why he was talking about me behind my back because I have never done that to someone I called a friend. I tend to be very honest and straight forward, which was a quality my friends used to appreciate. I don't know, I just know that I have always been there for my friends when they have needed someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a place to escape too and now that I am in need of these things they act as if I'm putting them out somehow and it makes me wonder if maybe I considered them better friends than they considered me as it doesn't seem like they consider me to be a friend at all since I would never get angry with someone over something as trivial as a text message or the opinion of someone else and it feels like they were simply looking for any excuse to act this way, which I really don't get. Anyway, thanks again for your response, I really appreciate it, and Happy MyLotting! ~Dee~
@MichGurl (144)
• United States
13 Mar 09
Searchingwithin, I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am that you have had all that to deal with, and in such a short time. It's amazing that we never really know how strong we are until we have to be. But know you always have friends here, and I know I'm not alone when I say that you can lean on my shoulder anytime you'd like because friends come from the most unexpected places. ;-) Thanks for the response and hang in there, things will get better!! ~Dee~
@tpinto (66)
• United States
12 Mar 09
I'm sorry to hear about how your friends are treating you. Were these your husband's friends first or were they yours first? If they aren't around when you need them than they aren't true friends. If your friends were both yours and your husbands, than maybe they feel wierd about being around you and don't want to pick sides. However, if they were your friends first, than they must not really care that much about you if they don't try to support you during this difficult time in your life. I wish you the best of luck and I hope someone in your life comes through for you and lends you the support you need.
@MichGurl (144)
• United States
13 Mar 09
Hello tpinto and thank you for the response! To answer your question, no they were not "our" friends, they were people that I had known for years. In fact, they were the first to see my husband for the controlling, selfish jerk that he was. LOL! I've actually been finding lately that I have better and truer friends here online than those in real life, so I'm not completely alone, but it still stinks when I want to get out and have coffee with someone. On the brighter side, I have met someone who has been a great friend, and there's the possibility that there could be more between us in the future, which is always something nice to look forward to. In the meantime it's just been one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. ;-) Thanks again for the response, I really appreciate it! ~Dee~
@jolope (988)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
an acquaintance would be just a person you know.. but a true friend would be someone you share most of your life and stories with.. but thats not only the case..a true friend remains a true friend even with distance and lack of communication.. i cant really say more for acquaintances because i just treat them simply as connections..
@MichGurl (144)
• United States
12 Mar 09
Hello jolope and thank you for your response! You pretty much hit the nail on the head for how I've always looked at the two, but it really has bothered me lately to see that a lot of people I considered to be friends, are really nothing more than acquaintances in disguise. I know there have been times that we hadn't talked for weeks because of life in general, but we always came together at some point and caught up on what was going on, and in between we would keep in touch over the phone or through email. But suddenly that has been no more. I've always been there for my friends in their times of need, but it seems like as soon as I need a friend to lean on, as with these last couple of months, they turn their backs on me and blame it on the distance or lack of communication as if it's a one-way road. Which just makes me feel like they were looking for an excuse all along, if that makes sense. Anyway, thank you again for your response as it always helps to have the opinion of others. Happy MyLotting! ~Dee~