Terrible Two's

@lilybug (21147)
United States
March 14, 2009 12:34pm CST
My daughter just turned 2 years old and I know some kids go through the terrible twos, but she is just off the chart with her terrible two's. She is constantly upset about something. She cried and screams and screeches all day every day. When her 9 year old brother is around it is even worse. How do you mothers and fathers of young children keep from tearing your hair out? It is driving me nuts!
1 person likes this
10 responses
@mysdianait (65122)
• Italy
14 Mar 09
It was a long while since my son was two but I can remember that it was an enjoyable time. It was the last year I had him by himeslf at home as the next year he started nursery school. It was the year he started helping in the kitchen, in the garden and anywhere else that his inquisitive mind would lead him. He even thought that the more talc he put on himself (and everywhere else in the bathroom) after his bath made it appear as though it was snowing like the it did in the winter. It was the first time he travelled to see his granny in UK realising who she was too. Uhm it really was a long while ago - he's 30 now
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21147)
• United States
15 Mar 09
Lucky you having an enjoyable time with your son at that age. Most times it is stressful around here. Today is a good day so far though.
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
14 Mar 09
My son got like that when he turned 2. He's 2 1/2 now and it is getting better. What helped us was giving him choices as often as possible. He was refusing to do everything I asked, probably just to be defiant. So I started giving him choices so he was involved and felt important and independent and like it was his idea. For example, instead of telling him it is time to get dressed and getting his clothes out, I let him choose what to wear. I pick out 2 or 3 shirts (any more than that is too overwhelming for him) and ask him which shirt he wants to wear today. Then he chooses and I pick pants to go with it. Same thing with pajamas at bedtime, which shoes or boots to wear, which hat or mittens, etc. At meals, I give him 2 choices, and let him choose what to have. Dinner is tough, because I cook what I planned, but I offer him choice of veggie, or what shape pasta if that's what we are having. I have also started getting him more involved in preparing meals and cleaning up afterward. He has enjoyed setting and clearing the table for a while now, but I have started having him help mix the mac and cheese, make the PB&J, or whatever else he can help with. He gets things from the refrigerator for me. I even ask him what color cup he wants to drink out of. When it comes to things that are not a choice, like putting on a coat to go outside, or going to bed for a nap, it gets a little tougher. I explain that sometimes we have to do things we don't like to do. I tell him that there are things I have to do that I don't like to do, like wash dishes. But I do them because I have to, and then I can move on to things that are more fun. I tell him he has the choice to do those things with a good attitude or a bad one, but either way they are going to happen. These things work about 90% of the time. When he absolutely refuses, I just go about my business. If he won't put his coat on when we have to go somewhere, I take him outside without it. Usually before I get him buckled into his carseat, he decides he wants to put it on. If not, there is heat in the car and he'll be fine. When he has a temper tantrum or screaming fit, I tell him to go be by himself and relax for a while, either in his room or in another quiet area. It's not time out or punishment, just a few minutes alone until he is feeling better. That has always worked so far (knock on wood). I feel for you. Just remember, this too shall pass.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21147)
• United States
15 Mar 09
I think a lot of it with her is the control issue. She wants to call the shots. She is little miss independent and has been since birth. Thanks for the ideas.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
14 Mar 09
LOL, If we had the answers I think we'd all have alot more hair. My 18 month old daughter was born with the Terrible Two's. She's just a cranky person by nature, and she get's sick alot so that makes it 100 times worse. When she's extra fussy, I just try my hardest to ignore it and move on, because the more I try to please her and make her happy the less it does. I just try to have her deal with it on her own so she can learn on her own that not everything is gonna go her way and she's gotta figure out what will work for her. There are days, where I would love to kick and scream and have a fit, but know that it's best to just roll my eyes, take a deep breath and move on, so hopefully she'll gather that and start doing it. My son, didn't hit the terrible two's until he was 3 and half, and his was extreme. Thankfully, it only lasted a few months before he realized he wasn't making much progress on getting what he wanted when he threw his fits. I also have to remember that patients are number one key in keeping my hair and sanity, and remember that she's just learning how to deal with growing up. Being a big girl, is alot harder than being a baby. Learning to talk, stress's kids out because they don't know what words they need to use to show what they want. Sometimes a big hug does the trick for my little girl, other times the hugs make it worse, she's so tempermental, I never know which is gonna work, so I try all sorts of things. Just try to be patient and remember these days will soon pass, and will be in the long lost past.
@lilybug (21147)
• United States
15 Mar 09
My daughter started around 9 months, but did not get Really bad until she it 2. It has been a wild ride since then.
@ersmommy1 (12598)
• United States
15 Mar 09
My daughter really didn't hit that stage til she was 3. I used to try and ignore it. Once I put her in her room. I stood outside in the hallway with her door shut. And I didn't open the door to her room til she was done screaming. That pretty much ended it.
@mikeysmom (2091)
• United States
15 Mar 09
this can be a tough time but girls seem to be more prone to this behavior than boys. my son did not do this and the one time he did i walked away and ignored him, of course making sure that he could not hurt himself and when he saw it was ineffective he never did it again. my niece on the other hand did it alot and she made herself so upset sometimes she would throw up. is she with caregivers other than you during the day or are you a stay at home mom? i am asking because if she is with other caregivers during the day you need to get to the bottom of what is going on when you are not around as this could be where her stress is coming from. good luck.
• United States
15 Mar 09
I actually don't know the answer to your question. My child was the same way I didn't like to have company because how truly bad she was. I had to replace my oven because she would constantly walk by the stove and turn all of the nobs on I got the stay out fence and put them around the stove thinking it would help and it didn't because she just begin to climb over them behind my back she was a mess, but they will grow out of that stage because my daughter did now my problem is she want stop talking she talks about everything and talks to everybody. She ask questions that you wouldn't be believe that was truly important to her. I wish you the best but raising kids and fun and sometimes hard........great day!
@glords (2614)
• United States
15 Mar 09
My son is only 20 months, and he has already started throwing tantrums... all day constantly. I really don't know how people handle it, or what the solution is. If you find any techniques that help... Please Share!!! I'm going insane. I feel guilty to admit it, but sometimes I feel really upset with the little guy. I bend over backwards to do everything for him, and yet he is continually yelling... also starting to pull hair, scratch, and bite. I hope he grows out of it soon.
@CJscott (4183)
• Canada
14 Mar 09
Well, all's I can really say, is at least she isn't teething too. My son is 21 months now, He only has 8 of teeth. He takes everything off of every shelf he can reach, and when he doesn't want to do something he Squeals no. But it does it anyways, mostly because I am bigger then him. I always tell him, it is going to happen, just one way is easier and funner then the other. It's growing on him soon. Just wait, the Why stage will be so much funner.
• United States
14 Mar 09
im sorry you are having a hard time. my daughter is only 4 months and im excited to watch her grow...but i dread the days where she gets like this.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
14 Mar 09
My daughter started that crap at 18 months and she kept on right into her 3's. She will be 4 next week. She still cries sometimes just because you don't do what she wants. She got really bad between 2 and 3 though. She cried and screamed alot but she also got into everything she could and did anything bad you could think of. I was pretty much to my breaking point with her and then she started to turn around a little bit. I think at a point you just have to take a breath and realize it won't last forever. And make sure not to give into her when she screams. I think that was part of what helped. I just let her scream and eventually she realized it wasn't getting her anywhere. She isn't an only child either, she is the middle one.