Friend in really bad situation...need help bad

Can you bring the cops and the law into this situation? He's already physically assaulted your friend, and if you guys can prove he's raped a minor, that should put him in jail fast, right? Your friend might not appreciate your looking out for her, but if you can do anything, do the right thing. Otherwise, you've no options but to cut ties with her, unless you can quietly stand by while she keeps getting abused.

It sounds to me like she is afraid, and from what you have said, it's with good reason. I have been in her shoes, and the advice I offer is what one friend, and only one friend, did for me. I was in an abusive relationship for thirteen years. Everyone else gave up on me. I can see why they did. They felt exactly the same way you do. I don't blame them... But one friend stuck around. She didn't fight. She never told me what to do. She made it quite clear her opinion of my husband, but she didn't tell me I needed to leave him... just that she wished I would. For years, she would call just to let me know she was still around, even if I wasn't allowed to talk. When I would disappear, she would eventually find me. If I needed to hang out with someone, she was there. She let my husband know that he wasn't going to run HER off like he did everyone else. She never pushed, but she wasn't afraid of him either. She respected MY wishes. If I wanted her there when he came home, she stayed. If I was afraid and wanted her gone, she left, but with a warning that she would be back if I didn't call to let her know I was ok. When I finally got the nerve to leave him, she was still there. I knew I had one person who would be there for me and believe in me no matter what. I knew I had at least one friend I could count on. That helped me get the courage to go. She is the person who picked me up and drove me to the Domestic Violence Shelter. Once the threat of danger was gone, she set me up in her spare bedroom. She helped me get back on my feet and become the person I had forgotten I ever could be. Maybe it seems like your friendship is one way to you. I'm sure it did at the time to her as well. But in the years since I left my ex husband, I have made up for all the times I had to lean on her. She's my best friend to this day, and I do whatever I can for her. In fact, I have remarried and we joke that my husband is "our" husband, because even though we live 3 hours apart, at least once a month, my husband is taking care of her household chores... you know, the "man" things. She doesn't have a man around to do things like cleaning the gutters, so he does it for her. I am a professional photographer, and I take photos of her kids for her. I am also a cosmetologist, so I cut her and her kids hair... basically, I am repaying her the best I can for all she has done for me. I know I got off on a bit of a tangent, but it breaks my heart to see others telling you to give up on her. If my friend had given up on me, I may not be here today. My ex most likely would have eventually killed me. So I say, don't try to force her out of her situation...but don't enable her either. Just let her know you are there for her, no matter what her decision.

if she is a good friend to you, then you should stick by her and hope that she gets rid of the guy. if you stop being friends with her, then it could make her turn to him even more. i would not give up on her. your friends are going to make choices that you don't agree with. and this is a bad one. but you shouldn't stop being friends with her because of it. when she realizes she needs to get rid of this guy, and if he is that bad, she will. she will need your support to help her with that. try to stick with it as best as you can

i will say forget it and just leave her alone... if she doesn't want to be help, there is nothing much you can do anymore... as you say, she is already an adult and she has to make a wise decision for herself... if she choose to be silly, then she has to bear the consequences... as a friend, we can only do our best and give our advice... the rest is up to the person whether he/she wants to listen to us... good luck... take care and have a nice day...

If it's domestic violence, get the police on it... particularly if you feel she is in severe danger. I would tell her to look at what he's done to her. Highlight that he cheats on her, probably more times than he admits. Tell her that the best way to get back on her feet is to pull out while she still has a chance, because you believe that soon she wont be able to. That you are running out of patience with the situation. Give an ultimatum

How old is your friend, I ask because I was in the same boat as she was but I was married to the guy for five years I was 16 when I met this guy and the worst part was I had a kid with him and I felt stuck because of this. I felt like the whole world was falling in arround me I did not how to control it due to fact I was very young and naive and scared because its going to get worse he will never change she will get stronger but she is going to need your help in listening to her and just being there for you she is lucky to have you there for, Because he is going to isolate her from her friends. You need to try to talk her into going to womens shelter or to the police I don't want to see her in the same boat as I was when I finally left my ex husband I had emotional and phsycial scars,some that took a long time to heal she needs to run now if she can, I wish I could help more but she will have to take that first step to leave you can't force her because it just make a person more stuborn I know I was in her shoes before. But she will need you there for her.Sorry if this has not helped I posted because it home for me.

I would tell her that you are there for her when she makes the decision to leave this guy otherwise you cant be her friend anymore because you dont like what she is doing to herself. I would let her know that you are going to distance yourself, not because you want to, but because there seems to be no other way.

You can't help her if she refuses to be helped. She has to be ready to change and it doesn't sound as if she is. Just let her know that you're there to help her when she's ready, but right now she's in her own sick little world and anything you do will be seen as interference. So be sure she knows she has a refuge and then let it go. The cops will eventually get involved one way or another.

There is nothing much you can do now. Maybe what you can do is just forget about it. I always think is hard to help someone who keeps on putting themselves into troubles and bad situations. You have done what you can,maybe you just don't need to bother her anymore and let her be. Since she is a adult now,sooner or later she will find a solution for herself or she just thinks this is not a problem for her. Stop being worry and carry on with your own life. Cheers!

there is surely some thing you can do to help her.. dont fight about it or dont ask her to come out of that relationship .. rather when she is troubled be that dirty boyfriend of hers just try to assure her that she has a person to whom she can always turn to and thats you.. she says she loves the person so the moe you ask her to leave him or even speak bad about the guy the more she feels to go away from you.. leave it to her to decide whether to be with him or not.. just keep being beside her.. when she can trust you fully she would surely tell you what she thinks about leaving him or being with him.. trust me its all a mind game.. a true friend never gets frustrated for a deaf friend .. a true friend never gives up when a friend is in need.. if she refuses to accept your suggestion let it be her way .. she would never deny your love am i right.. if you can just give her some love and caring would she still go away from you??? i am sure no.. so stick to her and let her understand that you truly care for her.. all the best.. hope your friend comes out of such situation soon...

hello.I dont think there is much you can do...if she wants this life there is nothing you can do.i would have given up on her if I were u...you sure have done a lot already...neways best wishes to you and your friend..

I think it would be good for you to stand back a bit but not give up completely hopefully she will come to her senses soon and when she does she'll need someone who's truly there for her without any "i told you so". If you think you could be that person then good for you but at the same time it won't do either of you any good if you put yourself in danger too. It's a really hard situation for you to be in but your friend's in a worse one even if she doesn't realise it yet. I know it's going to be hard for you to watch but imagine what it would feel like if you were in her place to be totally alone. Maybe in time you'll help her be strong enough to leave

If I were in your shoes, maybe at first I would say just FORGET IT because she was so stubborn to accept that she needs help BUT as TRUE FRIEND even she refuse to ask or she will really hate you for helping her, YOU need to do the right thing ' coz your her friend. She let you to come in into her life so whether she like or not, yo will help her. Maybe you need ask help to some in authority so she can get out in the situation. That man is totally a jerk, a maniac that needs to be put in jail before its too late. If you are close to her family, maybe you can work with them to help your immature friend to get out in that monster. FIGHT! it also your social obligation... Don't worry if she will hate you for breaking her heart eventually in the long run she will realize that what you did is for her own good and because you are a TRUE FRIEND. At least after you get rid of that man, you will not be worrying anymore of her... Goodluck and God Bless!

If she was a true friend, she would listen to you. So if i were you, i would just give up.

If I were to put my feet in your shoes, I really would say forget it. You've done everything you could. But if you really want to help her, you could just go and seek for professional help. or you could convince her to seek for one. I know, maybe she would possibly say "mind your own business", but I think her heart is just as messed up as her brain. That's domestic violence!, however she might want to reason out, she just plainly need some professional help. I know there are several women out there stuck in the same situation as she is. But with all of this going on and if she still refuses; you can simply send her a message or email, simply stating that if ever she needs your help, you'll be around. That's about only thing you can do for her this time.

If i were in your situation, I would give up and forget everything because you've really help her in her situation. You've done too much but she doesnt listen to your advices so at least as her friend you've already tried your best to help her at her worst.