Do you think it is hard to say no?

China
March 17, 2009 7:25am CST
I don't like to refuse others' request! If I ever say no, I am afraid that they may get hurt! But sometimes, I have to say no! After that, however, I will sort of get upset! A minute ago, a drunk guy, who was sort of my friend, asked me to help him! He told me that he was so drunk that he couldn't go back to his house! Well, he really made me sick! I told him that you'd better drink to death! Then, I just hang him up. Actually, I am kind of guilty and worry now! What if he really had an accident? haha, what the hell! oH my gosh, I am such a bad person! Do you think it is hard to say no? How do you deal with it?
7 people like this
32 responses
@benny128 (3622)
17 Mar 09
nah its easy to say no, and sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. People can help others but there is always a line that shouldnt be crossed if someone asks for help and you dont put your foot down from time to time they will take advantage. If you dont mind helping then fair enough help them, but if you cannot or dont want too then say no. You just have to be strong and remember its them that got them selves in the position in the first place.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 09
Thanks for your great response! I feel so rellieved now! Well, I have to go! Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@benny128 (3622)
17 Mar 09
good luck and remember sometimes you have to say how it is, be cruel to be kind so to speak
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Hi, hiddenwing! It would have been nice if you could drive him back home. It could have saved his life.. I hope that he is okay! In this case, it would be best to not say yes, his life could have been spared because of you. It is hard to say no in many cases. But, I have learned to say no, when I am tired and when I have too much on my plate to do.. I get worned out and I am in need of a break that is when I will say no. I used to feel obligated to tell another person yes all of the time, but when I started to think about myself and my needs, I will tell them no. I have to look out for me at times! I do try to help others as much as I possibly can~ If your friend asked you to take him home because he was too drunk to go back to his house, please help him, hiddenwing. I am sorry that you didn't think that you needed to help him. But, next time, if there is one, please help your friend out. Anything could have happened to him. It is okay, we all make mistakes. The main point is that you care about your friend and that is what matters the most.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Not say no, I meant to say. It is best to not say no. I am sorry for the error.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
17 Mar 09
i also find it difficult.but in certain circumstances ,one has to say no,otherwise certain people are bound to take advantage of you and may end up hurting you. happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 09
Yeah, it sounds so reasonable!This is the reason that I try to learning how to deal with it! Happy everyday
1 person likes this
@Rosmari (21)
• Philippines
17 Mar 09
For me its not really hard to say no, but it is how u explain why u say no. you must justify mostly for his own good that's why you say no?or the favor that he ask which you don't have the resources to give, or less skill in doing the favr he ask it depends on how u let him understand.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 09
Hmmm, you made your point! I guess next time I will empoly some tactful words to deal with it! haha
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
17 Mar 09
no you aren't. i used to have a hard time saying no, and not leaving myself time for myself. its actully call codenpance. i had taken classes on it. just to learn its ok to say no to people without feeling bad.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 09
Thanks for your kind words! I think I made a great decision!haha, wish you have a great day!
• United States
19 Mar 09
I have been practicing saying no, believe it or not. I used to be such a pushover! But sometimes there are times where you just can't take it anymore and just say no. It used to be hard for me to say no (and still is!) but if I feel strongly against something, I will stand up for it. Or if I feel like someone is walking all over me, I will tell them how I feel. It takes practice and good judgment (I'm working on it).
• China
19 Mar 09
Hi, hiddenwing, never be upset when you reject other's request. It is not fair to you! I can guess you are kind guy, "no" is not a good word to others, but sometimes we can not hurt ourselves. We all should learn how to say "no".
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Years ago I never would say no. Not until I ended up getting so bogged down with other requests, that I didn't have time to do things that needed to be done, also I learned to say no, when I realized people were just taking complete advantage of my good nature. That definitely can nip it in the bud. Sometimes we have to help ourselves out by saying no. And yes it can be very hard to say no.
• China
18 Mar 09
So, we all grow up to a certain extent! We found it hard to deal with something in the past. Now, however, everything is overstated! haha
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 09
I agree with you. Each situation is different, and we all respond differently too.
@vu3nnn (85)
• India
18 Mar 09
Saying No is one of the things I find hard to do so, and I've got into trouble many times by saying Yes when I should have said No.
• China
23 Mar 09
Oh, most of the people have the problem! That's it! All any of us should learn to deal with it!
• India
18 Mar 09
hello, it is not easy to say no to someone because oviously someone will feel hurt when we say directly no. you know i could not say anyone "no" for anything but right now i am useing to say it indirect way for sometimes...because if you not adopt this you will get huge loss..
• China
19 Mar 09
Yeah, we should find a tactful way to deal with it! Hurting others or hurting ourselves? We need to chose it!
• Taiwan
18 Mar 09
It's really so hard to say no!I have the same feeling with you,but since i was turned down by my uncle,i begin to practice to say no.To be honestly,i was really hurt by my uncle when i asked him to lend us some money to save interest.He is capable but he refused!He said money was in the charge of his wife.wow,i see.I won't ask him any more!In fact,i still can live well without his money.but if he lent to me then quarreled with his wife,i would be very upset.So it's great for him to say no and i also learn that if we come across the things beyond our ability,the best way is to reject tactfully. For others or for us is both better!
• China
19 Mar 09
Oh, your uncle is not so loyal to relations! That really bothers others! Luckily, my uncle is OK!
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Its not hard to say NO why because I discovered this from somebody that when their ka berks offer to hang up they cannot easily break his/her offering. However, it is hard to say YES because if there is someone ask for help or to borrow money you cannot give him/her directly because you are not ready to help him/her.
• China
19 Mar 09
Someone lend you some money! Then, they tend to forget it! I don't know weather they do this on purpose!
@kimutaku (145)
• China
18 Mar 09
It's really difficult to say "no".I'm also learning to say no to unreasonable demands.However, most of the time, people who put us in trouble are our closest.Strangers don't have chance to make such kind of requests, even if ,we can easily say no!But how to say no to our closest people?I don't wanna hurt our feelings...
• China
19 Mar 09
Yeah, I conjure they should reconsider others' position. Then all any of us will find it easier to deal with it
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well yes sometimes I find it difficult to say no because I dont like hurting someones feelings, but as I grow a little older Iv learned that sometimes we have no choice but to say no depending on the situation, because sometimes thats the only thing that some people understand and thats the only way to be clear that you dont or cant do certain things, because some people will try and take advantage of our kindness.
• China
18 Mar 09
Sure, that's it! Some people are so shameless! They just care about themselves! They don't even take others' inconvenience into consideration!
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
It is not hard to say NO. If its worth to help someone then you can offer help but if think its only a waste of your time and effort then let it go
• China
18 Mar 09
It sounds reasonable! I always worry about I may hurt someone! But it is not possible I am always perfect in every way!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
18 Mar 09
What did the inebriated person who called want you to do? If he just wanted to talk, I don't blame you for hanging up on him. Like you, I have a hard time saying "NO". I'm getting better at it, though. If I ask myself what my husband's reaction would be if I agreed, it's usually easier to say no.
@KRUS777 (70)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Amm..... It's really not that hard to say no. If you care for a certain person then saying no probably is the best thing to do because you want that person to be safe. You want what's best for someone. I guess saying no to a person in a cruel manner makes you feel guilty especially if they really need help as what you've said. I think you have to be nice on how you say it. It depends upon the situation really.
• China
18 Mar 09
Yeah, you are right! ometimes I guess I just worry uncessarily! But everything is fine now! Have a great day!
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Hi hiddenwing! You can't be responsible for everyone all the time! People have to take responsibility for themselves and their own actions! That is the way it is! If this person drank too much then it is his problem! You can't be responsible for what he does! In this world we are only responsible for one person and that is ourself! Remember that! Don't feel guilty!
• China
18 Mar 09
Yeah, you are right! I get that a lot! Thanks for your kind response! I will bear this in mind always! haha Wish you all the best for your work!
@nannacroc (4049)
17 Mar 09
I don't find it hard to say no. If I don't want to do something then I will say no. I'd rather be quite clear about things than dither maybe say yes and let people down. I like to know where I stand with people and I like them to know where they stand with me.
• China
17 Mar 09
That's nice! This was the reason that I tried to learn something from you guys! Have a great day!
• Brazil
17 Mar 09
Sometimes... We all know that sometimes you hav to say no... when you mean yes =oo
• China
17 Mar 09
Yes=oo? haha, this is very interesting! It is a pity that I don't get it! But You must have mentioned something reasonable!