How many loyal friends do you have

China
March 17, 2009 9:51am CST
Hi friends here. How much I hope you guys are not so far away from me and I can have a coffee with you at weekends or after work. I am in shortage of friends. I tried to date my former colleague, a good gal friend at the same time. She is in love and she said she couldn't meet me for sometime! Another friend, my best friend, promised me to come and live with me for a month and then several days later I called her, she said she's going to another city without a sorry. I am really hurt this time. I mean, she is my best friend and I've been counting on her so much. But she is not coming, just that. And another good friend since middle school, a guy, said he can't hang out with me like before coz he's got a girlfriend. What's more, bf's going abroad again and I have to move to another house and cope with the new enviroment, without a friend. I guess I just have no loyal friend. That's really sad and I am thinking how to be a loyal friend. Maybe I am just a bad friend as well. Do you guys have many loyal friends and any advices of making loyal friends?
6 people like this
40 responses
@maezee (32281)
• United States
17 Mar 09
That's too bad that your friends have been ditching you. I've had that happen a few times with some of my old, ex-friends. & LOL I'd love to get coffee with you, but unfortunately, we live like 2,000 miles apart! I'm lucky because I have about 3 very close best friends, and I've known them FOREVER (at least 5-10 years). My best advice to you is just hang in there, and you're going to eventually find some friends that will regard you as a priority; who will be there for you whenever you need them.
1 person likes this
@modstar (9612)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I would love to have coffee with the both of you, pretty ladies.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Ok, welcome to join us! Wanna get this team bigger? Bring your gf, please.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
18 Mar 09
Friends or loyal friends, they are the same.. MOst ple will only turn to them when they are in trouble and in need of things, if not, they will not even bother to ask them out or do some catching up.. If ever u did do the same things to them, i guess they are just doing the same things as well.. Well, friends are not really important to some ple, but we should not take them for granted too.. For their world does not only evolve around us.. Thus, one should always make it a point to ask and care about each other, from time to time.. True friends wont forget each other, and will support each other, but it does not mean that, u are their top priority ^_^
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Hi kun. It's very realistic and I now can understand that their partners are their priority now. I am just a friend.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
18 Mar 09
Hi Denise I sure wish I could have coffee with you but I'm in Australia so we have a little distance problem! I'm sorry you feel sad; your friends may come back to you when they are not so busy and in the meantime you can make new ones. You are moving to a new area are you? Sometimes we meet new people when we are new somewhere and make friends with very little effort otherwise have you considered joining in some activity that you enjoy? I joined a bush walking club of all things many years ago; it was something I never thought I would do but I really enjoyed it and met lots of new people there. You could even join in a hobby class learning something that you like and you are bound to meet new people with common interests. It is difficult but sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and make the effort and you may be pleasantly surprised. I'm sure you are not a bad friend it's just what happens sometimes. I only have three friends that I can trust plus my sister and that's enough for me but I am a lot older than you. Hang in there Denise you will have new friends in no time!
• China
18 Mar 09
Yup, this distance problem is making me sad:( Ok seriously I am taking your advice as I never thought it before. I think I will join some gym like and practising things like Yoga. There must be a lot of ppl there doing the same thing and then I can make friends with them. Oops I wish I was Winne the Pooh, playing with friends in the woods everyday, lol.
@modstar (9612)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Hi Denise! I still think that your friends are still loyal to you. It's just that they have to attend to their priorities or obligations first. I got 6 loyal friends. Most of them are my high school buddies. We don't live in the same city anymore but still keep in touch once in a while through texting. Most of them are already married and have a family of their own so i understand them pretty well if they can't spend more time hanging out with me.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Well it's really a shame that we can only talk via phone or online to our old friends. I wish I can hang out with them and keep each other's company sometimes. I am just in this period of needing friends so much, lol. But I can understand their priorities coz we've got responsibilities.
• China
18 Mar 09
Hi,I'd like to have a coffee with you ,but i'm afraid we are have lond distance. As you said,i think the people is so bad,how can do that? A friend you need is a friend indeed,so i don't think they can be your best friend. I‘m so lucky i have two close friend,we got together if we have spare time,we gone out shopping?tour and ect.so Denise,if you felt lonely,if you want have a friend to pour,you can find me,or add my msn:shirleyche@hotmail.com.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Thanks shirley. I will add your MSN after work today and I am happy we are in the same country! Have a nice day:D
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Hi Denise_Tung! I think that as we grow older, most of our friends get busy with their own life. Some we will outgrow and some just have to go out on their own for awhile. They have different roads to travel and so are you. The friendship sometimes is at risk but it is also up to friends to keep the friendship alive somehow. But I am very sure that wherever your friends go, there will be a time when all of your roads will meet again. I really don't think you are a bad friend or they are bad friends, it is just that sometimes we have just go to on different roads. I am sure that in your new environment, there will be new friends you can meet. This will be a new opportunity for you to broaden your circle of friends. I am blessed with friends that are loyal but that does not mean that they can always be with me. We get to see each other once in awhile, talk to each other regularly but we all have come to terms that we all have families to take care of, careers to tend to and a lot of things to do. But does not stop us from being friends. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Yup, totally. Like I am more into friends now but my friends are busy with their lovers or their jobs. Soemtimes it's really hard to keep friendship if we can never meet and just talk about our lives, at least we can't turn to them when we need them to be just around us so much, not through the phone or online. I am just tired of that kinda talking thing. Well I will go out and find some new friends will the same hobby like climbing the hill or Yoga and then we can gather together regularly. That will be wonderful!
@Archie0 (4669)
17 Mar 09
i got very few loyal friends. but they are truly loyal. they are since my college days and have been with me both my good and my bad times. i have been behaving badly with them some times before but still they have never left me. i really love them they are my true friends i must say.. and it is very hard to get such friends ever in life.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
How lucky you are! I wish I had that fiiend that I can yell at and when they need to yell at me sometimes, I am ready to listen.
@dragon54u (31617)
• United States
17 Mar 09
I'm sorry things aren't going well for you! I have no friends here, my two friends are at the other end of the country. But I'm one of those people that don't get lonely so it's no problem for me. You need to get out and go places, go to an art gallery or a play or someplace with lots of people where you can meet new friends. Maybe your friends are too familiar with you and have taken you for granted. I never understood why, if someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, the world has to be shut out and they're never with anyone but each other. I think that's very unhealthy. I hope you can find some new friends. If I was there, I would be glad to have some coffee with you and spend the day window shopping together!
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Hi dragon54u. Totally, I can't understand either. They just keep themselves to their partners and forget their friends. You read my mind. Some coffee with you would be nice, and window shopping would be nicer!
@diillu (5128)
17 Mar 09
Yes, there are times in out life when whom we thought our closest has their own things to do. And I think if any person has real friend whom they can count on whenever and wherever then that person is really lucky one. As for me I have very few friends and among them there are really few whom I can count on. I can count on my one bestfriend whenever and wherever so I have to say that I am lucky enough to have found one loyal friend.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Mar 09
Right, my best friend I can count on is looking for a job in another city. She told me she would give it a shot in the city I am working, but then her parents thought it was hard for her to get one here coz it's rather big and maybe a little demanding. I can understand, but just diappointed.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
17 Mar 09
It takes a long time to get really good loyal friends and even then lives change and people whom were available may not be there anymore. You need to be your own best friend and just meet new people, joint an interest club, hobbies, reading, whatever you enjoy doing. I quilt and I can go to anyplace in the country and find a quilting club. Often I'll meet someone there I want to get to know better. Go for it.
• China
18 Mar 09
Very useful advice. I am searching online for some nice clubs and then I can keep myself busy. Yeah, my best friend is in another city far away from me. I guess clubs would be nice and I can get to know new friends. Thanks.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I have a couple of good freinds that live across town for m me but we dont get togethre to often have to maybe arrange a month ahead of time so we arent busy and cant do the meet. Other than that I have no close friends that live here in Vegas mine are spread out al over and we really have to depend on the telephone!
1 person likes this
@babyorchid (1739)
• China
18 Mar 09
it hard to tell,i have many good friends around me. but i never know who is loyal friends. the old saying goes: A friend in need is a friend indeed. i never meet any very hard days till now, so who knows... but i think it might be 1 or 2 friends whom i can trust so much. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I have many loyal friends. Every year level in school I got to know more friends. I considered them loyal because they are always there for me every time I am down. They respect and trust me and I also do respect and trust them.And even love them as my brothers and sisters.Some of my loyal friends had there own ways in life so I see them often and I understand it cause me either had my pathways in life.Still I treasured my memories to them to remain loyal and good friend. An advice of making loyal friends is just be true yourself and to them. And try to understand them.
@RDKOSASIH (101)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 09
i think i have 1 or 2 the real loyal friend, because i think not all of my friend can loyal with me
1 person likes this
@mevko4 (22)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
17 Mar 09
I am sorry for ur friends. I have lot of friends but only 2 really loyal friends. I have Heard somewhere that u can find only 6 loyal friends on the world because u come from same line of souls or something like that. But keep trying dont give up. And im sorry but i am from Europe so we are far not that far but still far :(
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
17 Mar 09
Some people were not brought up like us. When we make a promise we try to keep it. Sometimes we just can't. I have a wonderful friend, but she never was raised that way, so it is difficult to get her to change, so I have learned to adjust around her. We met well over 20 years ago, and we are always there for each, especially through the bad times.
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
17 Mar 09
i can say i have a few who are true. we are always there for each other no matter what, the trust and respect is so high as well
1 person likes this
@angel2009 (210)
• India
17 Mar 09
Denise there is no such formula of getting loyal friends, it all depends on the luck... But yes, for gaining loyalty of a friend, you yourself have to be loyal.. As far as I am concerned, I can say I am lucky. A have whole lot of friends who are loyal and with whome I can share my cheers and tears. Yes there are some friends whome I always trusted blindly, and later realised my folly, but still I have such friends whome I trust and care for!!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
17 Mar 09
sorry about your friends. people just aren't as loyal as they need to be or use to be. i have had most of my friends a long time. i think it's hard to make new friends. i'm sure u will find new friends. i surely hope so.
1 person likes this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
17 Mar 09
I only have 1 and my fiancee. Sometimes I think having one good friend is better then having lots of friends. I'm sorry you have to go through that alone.
1 person likes this