What do you do?

United States
March 17, 2009 11:33pm CST
What do you do when people offer you advice or their opinions that you don't really want? I usually just listen, but still do what I want. It's just lately some people have been doing it so much, it's really getting on my nerves. I don't want to be rude or anything. It's just I know everyone is intitled to their own opinions, but sometimes I want to learn and do things my way. How I want to do it. What do you do when people do this to you?
2 people like this
18 responses
@malsun (1528)
• United States
19 Mar 09
If someone is giving me their opinions and I am in a good mood I would just nod away. But use my own judgment to decide my course of action. If it is coming from someone I value as my wellwisher, I would give it a thought and see if there is any good that would come. If it is a matter for which i dont want anyone's opinion period, I just ask them to shut up. It works for me. People who know me know when to stop.
• United States
19 Mar 09
I don't want to be rude, so I just keep my mouth shut. But you can usually tell in my voice that I'm like uh, ok this is enough. lol.
@wahmivy (778)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Aaah, unsolicited advices and uncalled for comments - there are plenty to go around, lol, perhaps one of the very few things free left in this world. If it's somebody whose feelings I don't want to hurt, I just nod noncommittally and then quickly change the topic. If it's somebody who's usually annoying, I excuse myself to do something else, like walk away, lol.
• United States
19 Mar 09
lol. Yea, I usually do change the topic. Thank you!
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
18 Mar 09
When I am not sure about myself I really consult my friends and sometime act as they say. But in most cases I just take their opinion just to know how they feel about a particular issue and I go my way. This serves double purpose as my friends are happy that I consulted with them thereby acknowledging their worth and my satisfaction that I have done what I felt worthwhile.
• United States
18 Mar 09
I do this too with my best friend. But I'm talking about advice that you didn't ask for and don't want. But I like how you do talk to your friends, because I wouldn't know what to do without mine. Thanks!
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I try to look at it as: it doesn't hurt to listen to advice. Just because you listen, doesn't mean you have to take their advice. If it's bothering you, either lightly joke about it, or else stop bringing up the subjects that everyone likes to advise you in.
• United States
18 Mar 09
Thanks, but it's not particular subjects. It's everything! But I do listen, like I said but I just don't want to feel like people are trying to make me do what they would do. Confusing. lol. Thanks though for your opinion.
• United States
18 Mar 09
People are always 'sharing' their opinions or thoughts and if it depends on their tones. I have a neighbor who likes to voice her opinion (fine), ALL THE TIME...still no biggie...the problem starts when she does so in a condesending tone. I cant deal with that for too long. I try so hard to just ignore her or just let it go but sometimes she keeps it up or will go on and on about various things and it gets upsetting after too long. Then I have to say something, sometimes I am nice and other times I am just not very nice. Other people who voice themselves when it is not wanted I usually attempt to just hear their side or saying and go about my business. If they make a valid point or point something out to me that I didnt know before or that I found interest in I will think about further otherwise I just go about my own.
• United States
18 Mar 09
I understand what you're saying. I hate when people continuously voice how they feel or what they would do. I don't want to be like anyone else. I am and want to be my own person. Thank you.
@GAUCI123 (1042)
• Malta
18 Mar 09
I agree with you completley, you listen however you do what you want. I think that I believe that decisions have to be done by you personally.
• United States
18 Mar 09
Thanks, I'm glad someone sees it my way. lol.
@jane9147 (252)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
i also hate it when they give you pieces of advice that you are not asking. they make me feel stupid when they do that. i just ask for advice when i can't really find a way all by myself. when they do that, sometimes i listen but i make face to give them a clue that i don't want any of their opinions.
• United States
18 Mar 09
Oh yea; I do that too.
@srganesh (6350)
• India
18 Mar 09
Well,opinions and advises are the cheapest things we get everywhere from anybody.It would be nice when we ask for it and only then, the advice has its respect.The advising people should know this and not open their mouth unless wanted.But we have to face such peoples inside the family who tends to advice with the rights of their age and relationship.Just shrug your shoulders and keep on doing what you like.But don't ignore them and see whether they come out of compassion.that should be respected.Cheers!
• United States
18 Mar 09
Thank you!
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
listening to an advice or opinion that I do not really want is silly. I really hate it but I will just listen to the person talking yet make it passed to the other ear. I don't want to be plastic and I also don't want to hurt others feeling. I also want to learned my mistakes in my own way without others advice or opinions. Even if that advice is positive or negative. Doing in my own way makes myself free. Sometimes my decision is wrong yet I am still okay for I did what I myself want.
• United States
18 Mar 09
This is how I feel. I'm a smart person and I have a good head on my shoulders. No I'm not perfect, but I know how to do stuff so it doesn't ruin me. I just want to make my own mistakes and learn from them. That's what life is about! Thanks!
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I just listen and keep quiet. It's another story though if the person insists for me to do her advice. If I feel that the person is imposing, I make it clear that the decision to follow whatever advice is still up to me. I make it clear that I still rule my life. LOL!
• United States
18 Mar 09
This is like what my mom did one night. She made me feel like crap and I was going to do what she said, but I'm a married woman and do what I like. Thanks!
• India
18 Mar 09
usually i find many people like that only who think that they are just superior than everyone and they know each and everything the best way to save yourself is to avoid them, and if any case you have to spent some time with them then just listen what they said and ignore it.
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well, I can't avoid these people. So I suppose my best option is to just ignore it. Thanks!
@maezee (32236)
• United States
18 Mar 09
It depends on who is giving me the unwanted advice, I suppose. Usually, I'll just nod and think to myself "I wish this person wouldn't push their opinions on me.." but if it's a friend or family member, I'll usually just tell them straight up that I don't want or need their opinions.
• United States
18 Mar 09
That's how I feel. I don't like to feel like I'm doing something wrong or I should do something another way. Thank you.
@kprabhu (439)
• India
18 Mar 09
its really a good topic and as i had undergone such a situations many time and i do the same think when people advise which i really dont like, if they are my family surrounding means i responded immediately and shouted them that means i just shown off my anger to them, but while if are they my friends or some other collegues like i just make me humble myself and started to scold them by heart with the smiling face but i dont reveal it off.but afterwards i do analyse what they said and why they said to me like, such a way if that really worthful advise for me then i keep follow that else i just throwed it away from my mind and will never think about it in the future...and i started go with my mind what it said and what it desires.....thats it lol....:)!
• United States
18 Mar 09
Yes, in this case, it is mainly family. But an in law. So I just shut my mouth, listen, and still do things my way. Thanks!
• United States
19 Mar 09
I'm very non-confrontational, so I just listen, nod my head politely, and do whatever I was planning to do anyway. I think most people are generally well-meaning, although there are some busy bodies who think they know everything and everyone should just listen to them. I also think everyone needs to be able to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Often people will try to intervene with what they think is good advice, but if people aren't allowed to make mistakes, they'll never learn lessons. Some mistakes end up being good.
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I just try to be nice to them. I nod my head, and say "Thanks for your advise, I will take it as my consideration." If they over push, that is crossing the line. I won't tolerate it. But some advise, I should consider it twice before reject it. It is best for us.
• United States
18 Mar 09
I normally listen to what they have to say. Sometimes, I am surprised by what they say and will actually take the advice. Most of the time, I think they just want their opinion to be known. In these cases, I just listen. I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Some people are very annoying if they have to give their opinion on every aspect of your life. I have met a few people like this and find them to be most irritating. In these cases, I think they share their opinions because they cannot find anyone else to listen to them.
• United States
18 Mar 09
I listen to everyone's opinion, it isn't going to kill me to listen and even if I do not agree with their opinion while listening to them I may come up with a new way to tackle an issue in my life.
@jshekhar (1563)
• India
18 Mar 09
Haha.. it seems all of us do face this problem time to time. I follow very much the same course as yours, i.e. listen to them very patiently and when it comes to finally doing it, I do what I want. I love some people very much so I can't be rude to them and tell them on their face that I don't really want their advice. Especially to elders. They have their own vision of looking at things and it differs from mine.Hence, I think it is the best to avoid conflict.