The "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" bombshell

@tjdas83 (178)
Malaysia
March 18, 2009 2:26am CST
Ever had this phrase sprung unto you? It's the popular break-up phrase used nowdays to somewhat avoid the other person's feelings. 'Love' is a noun...'in love' is the verb; the actions of love. So this phrase does not make sense, right? All it means is 'I love you but I'm not willing to spend time showing my love to you'. They should come up with better break-up strategies. What do ya'll think?
2 people like this
8 responses
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
18 Mar 09
I guess there is love and then there is love...I sometimes think the word LOVE is bandied around a little too freely these days, some people tell all friends they love them, it seems to be a freely given word, for me the word love is something special and I don't just give it away easy. I think you can love someone in a caring way perhaps but to be in love, completely in love is a bit different.
@tjdas83 (178)
• Malaysia
18 Mar 09
Yup, love is said too freely these days.
• United States
4 Apr 09
I think it is a lame term to breakup with someone. It is saying I care about you as a friend but I am not in love with you like a lover. I think it is meant to make the break up easier on the other person but it doesn't work. It still hurts just as bad.
10 Dec 09
By the way 'hustonphotography' your stunning for 30 :-)
@balasri (26553)
• India
20 Mar 09
Love is a very special word to be misused to one persons whims and fancy.I just cannot play with words and substantiate anything except your cowardliness.If you love a girl say so and stick to it.And if a person doesn't like the relationship and want to break up with someone he can say so and face the consequences instead of beating around the mulberry bush.
@tjdas83 (178)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 09
Yup. Always get straight to the point. Well said. Hear! hear! ;)
• United States
18 Mar 09
That is what men say after they have gotten what they want from you but no longer want to be with you. Why can't they just be open & honest & say I am not ready for a commitment & I am just here for the moment. At least if they say that you would know where you stand. I prefer honesty even if it would hurt me.
10 Dec 09
not all men, some of us are honest
@mrsyen (43)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I've never had this said to me, but it has been said of my younger sister by her ex-boyfriend. There is a world of difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. You can love a lot of people - your family, your friends, even your pets. But being in love entails romantic feelings towards a special someone. So even though you love a person, it does not always mean that you have any romantic tendencies towards that person. The phrase provides a convenient break-up excuse, but it does have some validity to it.
@tjdas83 (178)
• Malaysia
18 Mar 09
True, but I was saying in a lover relationship perspective. Why have a relationship with someone and not plan to have romantic tendencies towards them. People should know when to throw the 'I love you' on their partner, cause love comes when you are willing to do the work to stay in love. Stick to 'I like you' if you are not sure.
10 Dec 09
yes i recently had this from my ex. Wasn't impressed. Nice to see some lovely ladies out there who don't drop that bomb shell
@sagnik42 (3598)
• India
19 Mar 09
yeah...my love said something similar to me when i proposed her.i didn't understand the meaning then but i do now.it is liking somebody but not being in love with that person.we were very good friends and she took a lot of trouble to tell me and made me understand what she really felt about me.i have got to say i was very immature then.
@Bethany1202 (3432)
• United States
18 Mar 09
This has never happened to me. If it were to happen in my current relationship, I would be devastated. I would certainly have more questions with a break-up using that line! I would hope whomever I was in love with would respect me enough to be honest rather than feeding me some nonsense line such as this one.