Hi :)

United States
March 18, 2009 5:52pm CST
I'm new here. I'm actually not a mother yet- I'm due in October. I'm really excited but at the same time I guess lately I've been really nervous. Afraid that my life is never going to be the same, and not exactly for the better. My husband and I have wanted kids for so long but it's like now that I'm pregnant I just am kinda freaking out. Did any of you guys go through this? What helped oyu get through it? I guess I'm just worried that I will be inadequate or not strong enough to do all the things a mother needs to do.
5 people like this
21 responses
@Krissta (90)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I think all mothers go through that, and I dont think it changes with how many kids you have/had. I recently had my 3rd and last baby, and I still freaked out, and was worried that I wouldnt be able to give this baby everything in the world. Just do your best, and that will be enough. It will be easier to understand when your baby gets here. All those maternal thoughts will kick in and everything will be okay. Just know that your life wont be the same.. Its going to be wayyy different, but different in a good way. Your gonna have a new bundle of joy, a beautiful baby to love, hold, and protect, once your baby is born, your going to forget all your misgivings and question whether you ever had doubts to begin with. Congrats, and Good Luck !!
2 people like this
• United States
18 Mar 09
lol fist as a tag? I wonder who did that. But thanks for the advice. Hopefully everything will work out. I've always wanted to be a mom I'm jsut a little scared sometimes.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Oh sure. For about 2 seconds. Once they put my daughter into my arms almost 6 years ago I fell in love. And on Dec 10 2008 I got to fall in love all over again with my son! No mother ever realizes how strong she is until the opportunity presents itself. You will do fine. It is completely natural to feel freaked out. Just take a deep breath. Your life will change, that is part of the process. You will get to look at the world like it is brand new, through the eyes of your child. It is so cool. You will laugh and cry harder than you ever have before. Crayons and construction paper with glue will become magical (and a pain in the butt!) One piece of advice. Sometimes, let the house be a mess, save the laundry for another day, skip work if you can. It goes by fast. Enjoy everything. Even the dirty diapers. When they say "I love you mom" it makes everything worth it. Even the mistakes we think we make.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 09
Aww this gave me little chills, maybe it's the hormones but I have tears in my eyes. :) Thanks everyone for your comments and support I really do appreciate it!
@kimutaku (145)
• China
19 Mar 09
First of all, congratulations! Kids? Do you have twins? Dont be nervous,you were born to be a good mom. There will be a little angel come to your family, and days later, she or he or they will call you "mommy"and "daddy" with their sweet voice.Imagine it~ To be a good mom is hard but happy.Just take the world as you find it.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 09
Haha no, no twins. But we plan on having more than one child so I was speaking in future tense? I guess... :)
• China
19 Mar 09
Hi.My classmate also pregnant now,and she think it's unbelieveable first,but now she is preparing everything for her future kid. The life will be different,and you will feel more reputation and happy.but dont worry about you are not strong enough to do all the things,because when you have a kid,it's not a question.Best wishes
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 09
I am a new mother to an almost 9 month old little girl. You have your exciting moments and then those smack you in the face reality moments. Life won't ever be the same for you because your becoming a mother and will have someone to take care of, but trust me the day that little one is in your arms it will all be worth it. There is a saying "no one ever said it would be easy but they did say it would be worth it". The best thing I can sum up as being a mommy. I went through a little of what you are describing more towards the end when she was almost here. Its pretty common, but imagining my little girl is what got me through it. And, from a recent experience with a current friend who just had her daughter. We were all VERY concerned because she was very immature and "hated" the baby for what it was doing to her body, etc. As soon as her little girl arrived her motherly instincts kicked right in and shes doing just fine now. Best of wishes to you & Congrats!
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
Hi babysmamaforum. I agree with krissta...all mothers go through that phase...but the excitement would always outweigh those worries. I have been a mother for thirteen years now and I realized that being a mom is a work in progress. You'll get a share of ups and downs, you get to learn new things along the way...and sometimes, without even noticing, you become a better parent each day. Congratulations and take care. Welcome to mylot and hope you enjoy it here!
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Even the most wanted things in life change us. That commerical they have out that says having a baby changes everything is so true. It's what you will make of it though. Having kids is special. Though they can cry, fuss and whine alot, they are something that you really just can't describe. My kids annoy the heck out of me on some days, and then other days, they are great. Being nervous is honestly normal when your about to have a baby, because yes, your life will change. You will have to care for that child, make sure it's feed, bathed, changed, and made sure that it's well taken care of. When you go out, you will have to take the baby with you... These common changes at first will be hard to adjust too, but it'll all come to you. Don't put pressure on yourself by thinking your not gonna be able to give the baby what it needs, because when you start thinking like that you are gonna get stressed way to much. Don't be afraid to ask for help, all new mothers need help from time to time, and most anyone that's been there, done that will step in and help you out. Always remember that no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and first time mothers have and will continue to make them, it's normal and human. Best of luck!
@fiazio (736)
• India
18 Mar 09
Hello, and welcome to mylot. I wish you luck and blesses with the baby. And don't freak out ! be strong, we all are here to make you feel better.
1 person likes this
@pmcepe (194)
• Philippines
20 Mar 09
Congratulations! My other daughter-in-law will also give birth to theiur first born sometime early October.She and my son waited for a year for this blessing to come. Your feelings are quite normal. Feeling of inadequacy is normal but you could turn it to your advantage.Try learn as much as you can., Listen to your family and friends (including from myLot) share their experiences.Also, tell your OB-Gyne about it so she can advise you too. It is important that you try to be positive because the baby can feel what you are feeling. Your apprehension may be interpreted as your not wanting him/her in your life, and that would be devastating.
• United States
20 Mar 09
I didn't even think about that. Thanks for the tips, I think I will talk to my OB.
@Dorrdavy (277)
• Jamaica
19 Mar 09
hi, welcome! i am not a mother either but i guess its normal to feel a little worried. i am worried that when i have my first child i wont know what to do,i have also spoken to a lot of moms and they tell me it will come naturally.i'm sure some things you may need to learn but dont worry ok, you'll get the hang of it. and hey, believe in your self, you can do it; i am sure after this you'll be helping out someone else. good luck and happy mylotting!
@Dorrdavy (277)
• Jamaica
19 Mar 09
oh.. and life will be different but only for the better, so brace yourself for some extra happiness.
• United States
19 Mar 09
By counting backwards on my fingers I gather that you must have just found out that you are pregnant. No wonder you are nervous. You are probably thinking of what the pregnancy will be like, labor, delivery, baby, raising baby, you and your husband's relationship, how your husband will be with the baby. This is all uncharted territory. The more you can learn the more relaxed you will become. Do you have a book or two that talks about the development of the baby? Have you seen a doctor, etc. You will have fears that need to be talked out with someone. Every woman does. My baby is 25 years old this year. We have gone through pregnancy, labor, deliver together. We made it! We have gone through nursing, walking, talking, diapers, potty training, temper trantrums, home school, regular school, learning disabilities, teens, allergies, chicken pox, flu, colds, giggles, boyfriends, friends, sadness, singing, acting, sports, etc. She is me and my husband's best friend. Stay in the present enjoy today, educate yourself about the future, pray always, and know that you will make mistakes but let love conquer it all.
• United States
19 Mar 09
I'm just about 9 weeks and found out when I was 5 weeks. I got a book from my sister and have been reading through it and my first doctor's appointment was about a week ago. Thanks for the tips I am feeling a lot more confident today.
• United States
23 Mar 09
I completely understand how you are feeling. When i found out i was pregnant i was 21 & definatly not ready for a baby in any way shape or form. I had just become legal to go to the bar & hang out with my friends. I was so upset, thinking i couldnt be ready for this. I didnt know if i could do it. Or if i would be a good mother at all. I was so scared & so nervous. I was that way until i had my daughter. After you get to hold your beautiful baby, all worries go away, because no matter what you have to do, you will make everything possible for the baby. I never imagined my life would change so much for the better. I am happier than i have ever been. I hope you are too!
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
hello new friend..wow, it's good that a new baby will come..yes, i know what you're feeling this time..it's really nervous to become pregnant, specially that it's your first baby..me, when i got pregnant i'm so excited and at the same time so depressed because my boyfriend leave me when i got pregnant..though, i've been experiencing that kind of feeling before but i still put in my mind that i can handle everything, i prayed alot and with the help of my family, i've pass all the hurt..you are fortunate because you have a husband that will support you.. don't worry freind, you can do it.. just pray and trust your self ok..you can do it friend, just think of your baby what she/he looks like..then you will become more excited..good luck and God Bless...
• Canada
20 Mar 09
First of all, I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I'm sure everything will turn out fine and you will be a wonderful mother. Hormones play a big part during pregnancy and we all worry about becoming a mom the first time. Do you have a strong support system? Do you have family/friends that live close by that are able to help you out. Do you have any friends that are also first time moms or pregnant at the same time you are? You are right...life will never be the same...but it can be better than it is now and it can be wonderful.
@hiddenwing (3721)
• China
20 Mar 09
Good luck to you! Chinese people tend to marry sort of late compared to the westerners! Well, take care!
• United States
19 Mar 09
Congratulation on your little one.I think everyone is nervous when having their first child,you ll do fine.Your life will change a little but just think of how youll have a new little one to enjoy your life with.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Hello, babysmamaforum. Welcome to myLot. Congrats on your pregnancy. The fact is, life WILL never be the same again. Everything changes and it is up to you as to how positive that change will be in your life. There will soon be another person in the world to love and share experiences with and enjoy. There is no possible way it could ever be the same again, nor would you want it to be. Enjoy your pregnancy... it is a magical thing!
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
nice topic
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
nice topic
@littleone3 (2065)
19 Mar 09
Hi First of all congratulations I hope that your pregnancy is going well. I remember when I had my first baby at the age of 19 I had the same worries as you I think that every new mum has them. Your material instinct tends to kick in when you give birth. I am now a mum of five, my eldest is 18 in October and my youngest 3 in May,I had the same worries for every one of my children. It might help to talk to someone in the same position as you.