Jealousy - it kills me...

@Volkus (202)
Romania
March 20, 2009 1:01pm CST
My girlfriend is away from me, but she loves me very much, I'm sure about that. The previous week she went to salsa dances with an ex-collegue of her. AT the beginning of this week a young professor invited her to Opera, and today she wants to meet with some old friend of her...And I AM JEALOUS!!! She tells me that she loves me more than ever, but this can't stop me from being jealous...What can I do?
2 people like this
18 responses
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
I think you need not to be jealous about his professor. I know it is hard not to be jealous because it's human nature. I think you need to trust her, maybe she just needs to socialize with his friends in school.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
21 Mar 09
lol your situation is ruff. You must be wondering what I am laughing about but I have to asked you this question when she was getting these invitations why she didn't include you on it. Well she loves you more than ever because she is doing things that she know is not right. But continue to be jealous and not ask question.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
Good day... I think jealousy is part of a relationship and that's just shows how much you love a person. But then again too much jealousy could kill a relationship so instead of being jealous why not trust her.?
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
Fight off insecurity first. Insecurity often leads to jealousy. Try to love yourself first.
1 person likes this
@lvjunjie (80)
• China
21 Mar 09
you regard her as a girl friend ,really ?of course is ,so you should trust her at first .and i think she is very wise do that .you don't need to mind them a very now and among friends .so why not change your opinion about the things .you should to care more about her not doubt the realationship between you and her . if the situation is awlays like that ,she may lie to you .so be patient .just love her and wait
1 person likes this
@LCHBheart (167)
• Singapore
21 Mar 09
Just to be sure, you could hire a private eye.
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
Thats normal especially if your gf is far from you, my bf also gets jealous at times but I let him know of my activities and people who are with me. There are times my bf will call me and I let him talk to my sister if she is with me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
why is she going out with other men if you guys are "exclusively dating"? does she consider going out with these other guys as "dating" or not? well, you can tell her how it makes you feel when she does go out with these guys. that yes you know she loves you but you cannot help getting jealous. in our country, some girls will turn these guys down if they are already committed to a guy because it does not look good that you have a boyfriend but you still go out on a "date" with a guy. if it is a group date, it's okay but if just the two of them, it does not look good to us. any way, you may have different cultures in your country that makes going out with several guys okay. just tell her what you feel okay? get it out in the open and maybe try also to accompany her in doing new activities =)
1 person likes this
@chriswolf (360)
• China
20 Mar 09
If possible, you could be with her. IF not, you'd better find something to do. Jealousy is a bad thing that everyone has more or less. In my opinion, the best way will be communication between you two. YOU can tell her the truth. And you should tell her you trust her, you just don't like the feelings. Things will get better. -_-
1 person likes this
@abanerji (1026)
• India
20 Mar 09
there are two things here from your side. one is jealousy that you have pointed out. you are jealous of the other people with her because you are possesive about your girl. your love for her is very much apperant here. the other thing that comes in question here is that you are unabl to trust your girl. may be she is giving you less importance now adays or you are taking trivial issue to the heart. trust binds a relationship. try to trust your love. well, you have to intelligently find out why is she spending more time with others rather than you. either you have made some mistake or she is avoiding you for some other reasons. you need to act intelligently. well, next tim wehn she is invited to some place by a different person, you too invite her to the same place. then wait for her reply. may be it helps. i am not sure about it. but, one may take such a chance.
1 person likes this
@gicolet (1704)
• United States
20 Mar 09
What do you usually do when she's busy with some of these commitments? Do you just turn green, go in one corner and pout with all your jealousy? If you do then you need to find things to do to keep yourself busy also. Jealousy sets in because one always want attention. It's not good. It's either you trust your girlfriend and relax or stay green with that monster! Irrational jealousy is something I can never understand and tolerate. I can speak from experience but I'd rather not bore you. Suspicion goes with jealousy. If you think you can not trust your girlfriend then find someone else. I will never stay with someone whom I don't feel I can trust. On the other hand I will also never stay with someone who I feel is going to emotionally suffocate me. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
@Jezebella (1447)
• United States
20 Mar 09
You will have to deal with it. If she tells you she loves you more than anything then you shouldn't be jealous of her friends and professor. At least she is telling you about going out with her friends instead of doing it behind your back. Try thinking of it that way.
1 person likes this
@reploid (1239)
• France
20 Mar 09
Jealousy is the easiest and fastest way to kill love. Jealousy comes when there is a lack of trust. and this is the basement of love.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
20 Mar 09
What you can do is trust her. Then maybe you need to stop and think about your reasons for being jealous. Is it because these men get to spend time with her or because you think something will happen? If she is clear with these men about her feelings and does nothing to lead them to believe they have a chance with her everything should be fine. Let her know you are uncomfortable so she can take steps to be sure there are no misunderstandings.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Dec 09
I don't know why i jealous with my bf friend i am open minded but some times i feel jealous his friends he always says me that she is not my lover but i feel jealous why................. i really don't know
@forptc (290)
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
Simply put: TRUST HER! I know you have no idea who I am but trust me on this. Let me tell you, I messed up my relationship because of trust issues. Though I know I had some itsy bitsy reasons to be jealous once in a while but it really gets to you and eats you up. Jealousy consumes you as it grows to paranoia specially if you don't keep a close watch on it until it gets out of hand. It turns into a monster that feeds on your good nature and you won't like that to happen. There is such a thing as healthy jealousy, a good sign that you still have the love for your partner intact. What makes it unhealthy is when it comes in between the both of you and severs the ties that bond you two. Trust is a double-edged sword, it may keep relationships whole but it may also be prone to abuse. Be careful with giving out your trust even to people you hold dear. All I'm saying is be vigilant at all times. Follow your heart and think less, be half-blind to love keeping one eye closed and the other half-open. That way, you could keep things in check without ruining everything you've both built with blood, sweat and tears. Good luck and I hope that whatever action you'd take will make your bonds stronger and would keep the both of you together. Best wishes.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Ok did she go to the opera with this young professor or did she just tell you that she was asked? Was the old friend male or female? I kind of get the meeting of the old friend. I think you need to trust her on that one. Going to the opera with some professor may be innocent enough but it does sound like a date and you have to wonder if he looks at it as one. I kind of understand your feelings on that one. Still jealousy is never good to a relationship. You have to figure out if your jealousy is valid or not and whether or not you want to be in a relationship with a woman who makes you feel this way. It's not a pleasant feeling at all.
14 May 09
You really need to trust her otherwise your jealousy problem will ruin your relationship. If she say's that she loves you then clearly she does, do you have doubts? She would probably feel the same way if it was the other way round and you were going to meet a friend instead. Jealousy ruined my 5 years relationship with my ex boyfriend! Hope you manage to over-come this.