could you forgive a CHEATER?

Philippines
March 20, 2009 7:36pm CST
if you are single and you are seeing a committed guy? does it make you a cheater? i have known people who still go out with someone who is married or under a relationship. if you are in a relationship and you are tempted to cheat, is it a sign that your relationship is losing the spice? if that will happen to you? would you forgive your partner? as for me, i can not forgive a cheater. period. no more explanations. because for one big reason, i don't cheat. how about you? have you been cheated? or are you the cheater?
9 people like this
41 responses
• Canada
21 Mar 09
I live my life in open relationships so anyone that wants to have a relationship with me i lay it out for them that i am not faithful and never will be. therefore i tend not to have too many relationships.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks... open relationships with anyone? explain further david...:-)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I really don't know what to say about people who go out with others whom are married. I guess that situation will depend on what agreement they have with their partners. Now if a person partner don't know they are out with another. Then yes that is cheating because there partner have no idea what going. I don't like that behavior.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks.. me too. i dislike that behavior.
• United States
21 Mar 09
If you are single and you are seeing a commited guy? does it make you a cheater? - IMO. It's a YES. It still makes you a cheater since you are deceiving "real" partner of your guy. If you are in a relationship and you are tempted to cheat, is it a sign that your relationship is losing the spice. - There maybe something missing from your current relationship and once you find that from another person who shows signs that he/she is into you, then one maybe tempted to cheat. But there's no excuse to cheating. Your problem with your currently relationship maybe resolved by open communication with your partner. Its the person's weakness to fight temptation that drives him/her to cheating and not because of the issues in his/her current relationship. If it will happen to you ? Would you forgive your partner - He has to be truly sorry in order for me to entertain the idea of forgiving him. Forgiving is not very easy, you cannot just erase all the hurt, mistrust, shame that cheating has brought to you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
i am just asking. i am not in that situation. read along. thanks.
@yanime (4)
• Philippines
2 May 09
are you sure you think you are not a cheater?think of it.......
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4399)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
I never cheated and I will never cheat. Some "experts" on relationships say that sometimes people are really tempted to cheat (something about human nature bullcr*p) but that as long as the person chooses NOT to cheat, then it's still a good relationship. I think that if a person is really tempted to cheat, then there's already something wrong and that means that there's something that should be fixed. Maybe he's getting bored - then if he is, they should do something about it. I can not forgive cheaters because it's not just about him, it's really about ME. I respect myself enough to not be treated that terribly. Thanks for the response on my discussion!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 09
Would I see a married man? Yes.IIf I do see a married man then I helping him cheat. I wasn't the one that promised to be faithful so I am not technically the cheater,If I have a boyfriend and I a m tempted by someone else isn't a sign of anything but if I act upon it , then that's a different story.We all can look but we shouldn't touch unless there is an agreement between the couple.So if you have a affair there could be trouble between the two of you.I have two completely different answers to the question what if this happened to me. If I am married , I would forgive him and yet I would Never sleep with him ever again. If we were married a long time, chances are he isn't the only one cheating. But if my boyfriend cheated , I would leave him. why should I stay if I don't make him happy and he doesn't make me happy?
1 person likes this
@lingzi (568)
• China
28 Mar 09
hi ,donnakristel,my answer to your question is absolutely no. i will never forgive a cheater. i will not cheat . i was cheated by my first bf. that pained me so much. i can not make other person taste it anymore.i always think the love may change or disappear between the lovers,it's natural.everything can change with the time passes. i told my hubby,if he doesn't love me someday,just tell me,i can accept calmly.but i can't bear the cheat. teeling me the truth means respect to me.it's not bad if love's gone.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
28 Mar 09
i met a cheater guy before.i never forgive him i am sure.he cheated me all things,big cheater,i really hate him till i die.
1 person likes this
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
hi donna I've been cheated many times but I had forgiven the guy who cheated out on me. Because of that I don't think I'll date a cheater because once a cheater always a cheater. Neither will I date a guy who is committed whether in a relationship or married. It doesn't go well with what I believe. FAITHFULNESS...
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
thanks... i hope you will find your true love....
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
thanks, I hope so... and you, too...
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
21 Mar 09
I have had boyfriend's that cheated and I have forgiven them. I have never been married, but I know that I can forgive my husband for cheating. I would certainly want us to go to counseling, as I would be in a lot of emotional pain. We would need to do a lot of work and rebuild trust issues, but I don't think that it would be impossible to work things out. I know that I am not perfect and would want forgiveness if I messed up that bad.
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
thanks... you are very loving person...
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
28 Mar 09
Sometimes the only way that we can truly love others is from a distance. I believe that some people can be toxic for others. But we still need to forgive in our hearts.
@myralmedo (815)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
hi :) i've never experienced to be cheated or cheat my partner- it's very hard especially if the "trust" will be the topic here, yes we can give them chances if they are feel super sorry and promise that it will never happen again but i think the "paranoid" thoughts will be there- as they've said- ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER, they've done it once and tried it and i think it will happen again and again..i dunno i've never been to it but based on others story it's really hard just my two cents!
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks... good answer....
@preppy (28)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Mar 09
Its really bad to have a relationship with a guy who is already committed, its like you are stealing the most important person in childs life.. if you cheat to someone you love that means that you don't love her.. if you love someone you will never cheat because love is respect and you won't let anything destroys the love you have for each other... cheating destroys relationships and trust for each other.. and its unforgivable.. once a person cheats there will come a time that he will do the cheating again.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks... i agree...
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
I guess, I couldn't forgive a cheater especially if it's my husband who will do that. for me, the biggest mistake that my husband will do to me is to cheat. We already made that clear and I hope he will stick to that promise till the end.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks.. i know he will stick to his promise...
21 Mar 09
Nope. What goes round comes round. I would neither date someone who is already committed elsewhere nor cheat when I'm in a relationship.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks... good luck!
• United States
21 Mar 09
I could never forgive cheating. I don't even want him looking at another woman. Maybe I'm just too jealous.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks..
@marc1874 (83)
21 Mar 09
It would all depend on the severity of it to be honest. Circumstances could be a big factor in someone cheating. But in most cases i would say a big NO! someone said previous, if they would cheat on the person they are with at the moment then they would have no problems with cheating on you, which is 100% correct!
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks.... 120% correct!
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
21 Mar 09
I would not say that I wouldnt forgive a cheater, but I would not be with them either. I would be afraid they would do it again! That is usually the case. Trust to me , is the most important part of a relationship. If you do not have trust, you cant have a proper healthy relationship. That person may still be a friend, but that would be all. I would give nothing else after that.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks... good answer!
@suzzy3 (8400)
21 Mar 09
No it makes you a home wrecker and him a right swine,do you know how it feels to do all the housework and look after kids without a moment to yourself,only to find the man in your life is sleeping around,pack him in and find your own man and don't pinch anybody elses,what chance has she got if she does not even know she exists,mind you she is probably to busy looking after the cheating ba$$$srd.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks.. take it slow suzzy ...thanks...:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
What goes around comes around.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks..
@ancy114 (102)
• India
21 Mar 09
no i'll never ever forgive a cheater if such situation happen in am life..i'll better break ma relationship n i wont continue my relationship wid a cheater .. coz i 'm not the person who used to be loyal ans bounded wid ma relationship so i'll never ever forget a cheater
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
thanks...