Don't Use these words...you knew it was coming...it was just a dog!

Canada
March 22, 2009 1:07pm CST
I lost my very, very best friend @7:32 a.m. this morning, after being up all night with him...."TOSH" my dog. Yes, he was 15 yrs. 5 months and 11 days old..YES, I knew it was coming...death is imminent....no matter the age, no matter...it's still as devastating...and he never WAS just a dog...he truly loved me NO matter who I was, how I acted, he understood..he loved me! But do you have to say "you knew it was coming!" OUCH! Why I am at this computer right now...I'll never know, I just had to let my frustration go...somewhere! This little person loved me beyond reason! And I am hard to love! I talked to him in his Mommies belly, I held him at birth, and it is so hard to hold him now....as I still want him to know I LOVE HIM! I truly mean it...Please, don't use those words! I truly am having a bad day! /and thanks for letting me vent, my friends!
4 people like this
17 responses
@winterose (39921)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
no he was not just a dog, he was a member of your family and of course you loved him and you will miss him. It is only normal. I felt the same way when I lost my dogs and now it is the same we I lose my cats as well.
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Mar 09
Oh, gosh, Thank you,,,he alwys laid at my feet whilst myLotting...so NOW it hurts to even be here!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 09
My friend cries when he loses a cat now, even though they are indoor cats, we can't protect them from some diseases. They are always there for you, to make you laugh. We don't have any dogs now, but I have a gorgeous, absolutely beautiful black cat named Xina, and my friend just got a tiny scrap of fur 5 months ago, all white and brown, when she was 8 weeks old. She has blossomed into this sleek, skinny little beauty, still white and brown, with fur as soft as goose down. Her legs are long, her body is lean and smooth. She is truly a beauty. Only one problem: She is the Alpha, and my baby girl Xina is not, as she doesn't pursue the little one, named Sparkle, and "put her in her place." Sparkle is constantly pouncing on Xina, batting Xina, chasing her everywhere, but Sparkle is not even six pounds. Xina, at her last weight, was a little over 17 pounds! Xina is so gentle and sweet, she won't even get in my lap without a delay, to get my attention before jumping up. Sparkle just appears, like a ghost, and curls up and goes to sleep. But she really is a treat. We look forward to how much she will slow down and be less aggressive when she is spayed next month, but we will have to see. Until then, we do our best not to lose our patience with the "beast."
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 09
One more thing: I forgot the reason for this post: You feel pain while on MyLot now, because you lost him only a little while ago. Eventually, you will cherish your time here, memories of "Tosh" with you like a comfortable sweater, because he shared his time with you while you were here. I cherish my memories of "Squeakie," because she was so affectionate. We even have a few photos of when she was young, just about 2 months before she was a year old, we were squirting her with a sprayer. She jumped up and started biting at the stream. It was so funny, watching her snapping at the stream, and the photo I remember shows her mouth open, and I remember her rows of white teeth showing as she snapped at the water. She was a treasure.
1 person likes this
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
23 Mar 09
I am very sorry about your pet, I know what you mean and wish you could hold your dog once more. *hug*
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you, ShellyB...and am so sorry I have been so long in responding! I just truly needed yesterday to try and start to mend..and take the day with my other two pets, a dog and cat...because I truly feel that they are grieving, too! They seem to wandering the house aimlessly looking for Tosh! They were all such good friends. Cheers & Thanks!
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
24 Mar 09
No problem, please take care of you and your dogs.
1 person likes this
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
24 Mar 09
and kitty, believe this or not I have a vision problem
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 09
I fully understand how you feel. My favorite dogs ever were only two I can remember: The first was a female Portugese Water Dog, despite the fact we never really spent much time near the water. Her name was "Boogie." She had this funny habit whenever she wanted outside, she would dance on her hind legs, spinning around like a ballerina, despite being a 3 foot at the shoulder, charcoal grey 60 pound dog. She had this wonderful trick when we ate meals where she would sit and stare at you, her eyebrows alternating up and down, left and right. Needless to say, it didn't take long to break down and let her have something from the table. Even though she was old when I last saw her years ago, when we went outside and I got her excited, she could run around the yard like a puppy. We came back from a convention in the summer of 1982 or 3, and she was not home to meet us. I was not happy with my Aunt who never liked her, and she was the only one we could get to care for her, when we came in the house and she told us "Boogie" went out and never came back. My second favorite dog, which even my best friend had the privelege of meeting, was called "Squeakie." She got that name as a puppy by my brother who got her from the SPCA. He didn't have much maturity, because when he moved out to a rented trailer, he didn't call or ask about her when he met us away from the house, and he tolerated her when he visited. She deserved better than him, and thankfully my father and I were there to spoil her. As a puppy, she loved to sit in Dad's lap and lay back against him. She was so excited when she got attention that she forgot she had pin teeth, and pierced his ears for him when she nipped him. She was a beagle-doberman mix, and you could tell in her body. She was short-haired, black and brown, sleek with long legs. She didn't have a muzzle as long as a purebred doberman, so I knew she wasn't a purebred, but she had the large chest and long body of a doberman. One time, my other Aunt who lived up the road came to the door, and "Squeakie" was so excited, she jumped up against the door. My Aunt wouldn't come inside because she was jumping against the door. But here was the funny part-"Squeakie" was jumping up and down, and she was actually looking my Aunt in the eye at the hightest point of her jump. I also managed to get "Squeakie" wound up, and she would literally run around the house, a 60-foot long trailer, in less than 5 seconds. It doesn't sound like much, until you remember the perimeter of the trailer would have been 180 square feet. She could run 180 feet in 5 seconds. Wow! The sad part was, when she got so old and frail, my father was the only one who cared enough to do what was right. He took her to the vet and held her as they gave her the shot to put her to sleep, and held her until she drifted away. He was still crying when I came home from work. All my mother would have said was, "It's just a dog." We always picked on her after that, because her favorite phrase was, "Where's the shovel?" She wasn't a very caring person for anything that couldn't make her happy. If nothing else, we can always count on our furry friends to make us smile, to give us a laugh, to warm our hearts when we need it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you for sharing, you're truly wonderful stories...they made me laugh & cry!And the emotions just won't go away...altho I did sleep last night! He was truly old...but was so much a part of me & whom I am. I learned so many lessons from him of tolerance, beauty....and life! I truly thank you for sharing...and by the way.......WELCOME to myLot, you will find many wonderful friends here.
• United States
24 Mar 09
I already have, pergammano, I already have. ;-))
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
22 Mar 09
i am so sorry , pergammano. i know how attached u can get to a dog. my dog is about that old to. it's just she & i around here & i would be lost w/out her.u can't help but grieve for them they are just like one of the family. hope u get to feeling better soon.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you for your kind words, my dear friend! No one can warn you of the grief & loss you feel when this happens. I knew, yes I knew when he turned 15 that every day I had with him was a miracle...and that the demise was imminent! Doesn't make it any easier...as you just don't know how you will feel....and I think that it is the helplessness, a thing you can't change, that truly breaks your heart! The little man will be sorely missed, forever! Thank you!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (48647)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I'm so sorry. My Sherlock is so much more to me than a dog, and it is vastly annoying when someone trivializes your pain by using those inane words, it was just a dog. To most it is like losing a member of one's family. I pray that you will find comfort. It is so hard to lose one's best friend.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Mar 09
Oh, AmbiePam....so nice to hear from you...NEVER was he just a dog...he went thru hell and back with me...and always there to love me, never judge me, never wanting, never...ding, dong, darn it...am I a major loser today! It was an allnite vigel...but we had a wonderful day outside, yesterday...and then at 5 pm he began vomiting, then seizures,...and I had to work this a.m., I called a friend, they came as I didn't want to leave him alone, I was afraid, as he was dis-oriented thaat he would fall down the stairs.....as soon as I got to work, the call came...he has crossed the rainbow bridge! My love....beyond anything that a human ever gives...I am about to put to rest! I have kept over the years, a teddy that he loved, when he was younger, it will go with him! Thank you, for being here, my friend....I truly needed you today...and still do!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (48647)
• United States
22 Mar 09
My heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry.
1 person likes this
@teka44 (3425)
• Brazil
22 Mar 09
Hi pergammano. I am so sorry to heard this. I know how you are feeling now because it happen to me too. Many people can't understand this but pets can be like persons for us. I lost a dog with 17 years old and a cat with 16 years old. My babies and I miss them untill now. I never forgot them. The worst thing someone can do when we are suffering because lost a best friend that is like our child is say " it is the life everything will die" or " it is only a pet". It makes the pain grow more. They are our best friends because none will loves us like they love. We only want to be alone and remember little things they did. And cry. I cry till now when I remember my babies. Our life becomes more poor without their love. I will not tell you nothing because nothing can makes you feel better now. Cry for your friend and keep his memory. My condolences
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Mar 09
whoa..teka44...how tremendously understanding you are! I truly, truly thank you for listening/reading my rant! I keep repeating myself, why am I here on the computer, I have figured it OUT...the people I know on a day to day basis, are the people that are uttering these statements. Good people, like you, live in cyber world..or I am associating with the wrong persons! Where I have to go dig the grave is beside his Mother (Mokei) and Brother (Oeuf) and so the memories will be all around me! Oh, my goodness, where will that happy little face, that I walked into the door to every time I came home from work be????? He never cared if I worked overtime, I didn't have to call him....explain....he accepted me for whom I am, and therefore I will be eternally grateful! I thank you, so kindly for responding, it is nice to know there are kind souls, with hearts....big as all the world...out there! Hope I didn't bring to much pain to you! Cheers!
@teka44 (3425)
• Brazil
22 Mar 09
Oh no my friend! I will keep my memories for all my life and it is something that none can take from me. I have been loved in this life because I had my little friends and it is much more than some people can say or feel. You too was loved by yours little friends so you are fortunate. Share your pain with someone that can understand you is a good thing. Tell about your friend is good for your heart because is like if you are sharing your friend with someone that will love him too. But not today or tomorrow. Keep your friend only to you these days. When you feel the need to talk about him you are welcome. Talk about things that only make sense for us like a funny thing he has did but only who have pets can understand. You are welcome ever. I felt this need but didn't have none to share and it is sad so here I am for you every time you feel this need. My heart is with you sharing your pain my friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Mar 09
I am so sorry you lost your friend. I know how you feel and I certainly hope you make it through this rough time without too many battle scars. Suggestion: get another puppy.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Mar 09
You are so sweet....I still don't know why I am sitting at the computer...He is lying right beside me (please don't think it is sick) wrapped in his favourite "bankie" with his favourite toy...and this is where he always laid, when Iwas here on myLot....Now, I must go and build a coffin, and dig his grave, to lay him beside his mother & brother! But it's the ridiculous words...think before you speak. Thankyou, crazyredhead, I have other puppy (actually 4) whom is a rescue doggy...and I truly love him....but the HOLE is there, big time...TOSH was the only pet I have owned, as I said, since an egg in his Mommy's tummy! That shud have read four years old...not 4 puppies! It was just the words, that had me devastated! How words rule your life! I truly thank you, just to have a response, as I am sitting here, reminiscing, means there are truly good people out there....and you are ONE! Thanks & cheers!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Mar 09
It isn't sick. Take your time. It's nice that you give them a proper burial. I'm sorry that you've lost so much. Our dogs are 8 and 10 and I don't know what I'll do when they are gone.
1 person likes this
@suscan (1957)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I would never say those words and think less of people who would. Animals are special and they have as special place in our lives. They give us so much friendship and love and we should always give it back to them. My thoughts are with you.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
I truly thank you for taking your time to stop by and offer your kind condolences!Just knowing people truly care makes a difference! I truly hope that his life was the best and "little person" could have....and there was no pain! By the way, I love your avatar..it is beautiful...sure am looking forward to some decent weather so we can have some flowers soon! Thank you & cheers!
@eztuner (451)
• United States
23 Mar 09
Oh pergammano, I am sorry for your lost, you made me cry, I know your feelings as I lost my baby girl one year and 37 days ago, yes I am still counting, and still hurts and I still miss her, but time helps you, and the memories even more, as you say they love us no matter what. As for him knowing you loved him, have no doubt about it; Because you Loved him he was that special with you. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry for your sorrow.
• Canada
23 Mar 09
You poor, poor darling....losing your own flesh & blood is unbelievable, I lost my daughter before she was born, her name was Marina Ashley, thank goodness I have my son! My pain is not nearly yours...and yes we count the hours and minutes...that we shared the joy of their lives. Please take care! Cheers!
• United States
23 Mar 09
Very sorry to hear you lost a very close friend of yours. I know how you are feeling since I have lost 4 of my very close friends (Pets) over the past few years and it has hit me extremely hard. I am a Cat person myself but my parents have a dog that I play ball and sock toss with alot and am very close to. I have a special area where my pets are buried and I constantly make sure the area stays well maintained and clean. I even go there and talk to them as if there still there alive and I even pray to the lord to take care of them in Kitty heaven. Some of you may think of that being strange but it helps me to cope with losing them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
I am truly sorry for you losses...it's a feeling that you never want to become accustomed to! I, too, have a gravesite here on my property...His Mother "Mokee" and his brother "Oeuf" is buried there! It is in the corner of my backyard, and I grow flowers there every year! It is too new, and painful to visit there right now, but will be able to soon. Thank you & Cheers!
• United States
23 Mar 09
I am so sorry to hear of your loss..years ago I had an old mongrel dog named Blackie...he lived for 22 years...when he passed away I cried all night..dogs are truly the ultimate friend...their love is unconditional...I hope someday you can give the love you gave to your Tosh to some other new baby...there are many out there that need us..shelters are full of them...there is a little one waiting out there for you to love...
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you for your two posts..and the understanding that you have imparted! That was an exceptional age that "Blackie" lived to! 22 years is phenomenol...and all that extra time to love him! I do have another dog "Brew"..and he is a Jack Russell Terrier that I rescued at year ago last September....and a kitty "Curlew" whom is ll ...12 on May 9th! They both are missing Tosh, too. Once again, thank you!
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
23 Mar 09
I am sorry for your loss and you have my sympathie. Cats and Dogs are often our best friends. They don't know the meaning of hate and revenge. They love us... no matter what. That's what make them so lovable.
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you so kindly, Aussies2007....there is a great big hole there, and it will never be filled....I still catch myself doing things that related to him, like calling him when I come in from work...or yesterday peeling him his favourite snak food...a carrot! My other little furry friends are missing him, too! I wonder if they know, as they have clung very close to me, since that moment! Cheers 7 Thank you!
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Oh, pergammano, I am so sorry for you! My heart goes out to you. I know you are hurting beyond what you ever realized you could feel. I only recently lost a companion of mine and I still have days that I think of her and cry. We have a new dog in our neighborhood with the same bark as my "Mocha" used to have and the day I heard it for the first time almost did me in. Sending you a sincere hug from someone who understands you pain only too well! Cry, live with the pain for a while, it will help. I'm glad you came here to vent. Be well, my friend.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Truly, thank you for taking your time to add your condolenses..and I, too, send you mine! You are so right, the pain is unbelievable, and as you say there is a great big hole, and I catch myself doing things, like yesterday peeling him a carrot as that was his daily mid-day snack! I owned his Mother, too...and her name was Mokei...close to Mocha! He is buried beside his Mother and brother! But I can't bring myself to go to the gravesite ...again for a while! I am truly sorry for you loss! Cheers!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I am so sorry to hear this friend! I can not imagine how devastated you must be. Please take comfort in knowing that he knew you loved him..animals sense feelings from other people so I know he must have known. Again...I'm so sorry.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you so kindly, Jen! I truly hope he knew that he was totally loved, but what I can't figure out is that I was up with him all night, and I had to work, so got a friend to stay with him...no sooner had I got to work that the phone rang and he was gone! Did he not want me to be there when he passed! I feel badly because I left him...and was not there at the end! But I did ask the Lord to make the decision for me...I knew if he was still alive later (when I could catch a ferry to the vet) I would have to decide on euthanasia! It was a decision I didn't have to make! Once again, thank you!
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
22 Mar 09
My little dog has the same effect of me. Tosh has been a family member for more than 15 years, that makes Tosh a member of the family dog or not. I am truly sorry for your loss. Please Take Care, you know Tosh would want you to be OK.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Thank you so kindly, my dear! Sorry I have been so long in responding, I was just too raw emotionally to think or make my fingers work, so I took the day off yesterday and spent it with my other two pets! They seem to truly miss Tosh, too and are wandering aimlessly around the house, looking for him! Last nite seemed the hardest, as I had lots of nightmares involving him in pain! Thank you for you kind thots & wishes!
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
18 Apr 09
I am sorry to hear this news. Even though i am four weeks late. I hope that you got another dog. You cannot replace your dog. No dog will ever replace him. But at least you can share your love with another four legged friend. When simba my rough collie passed away it was devastating... i did not know what i was doing for a whole week....
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 09
I am so sorry for your loss...over the years I have lost pets...I had an on mongrel dog named Blackie that lived for 22 years...it was horrible when he passed away. I can remember crying all night...dogs are truly man's best friend....you have a right to grieve...they truly give unconditional love...if only humans could be that way...yes, we know it is coming, but who in the world is ever prepared for it....I hope someday you can give your love to a new little guy and he can in turn give the same to you....