What kind of friend is that?

United States
March 23, 2009 9:08pm CST
If you have a friend, who always ask for your help, I meant help in financially. Everytime she borrowed money, she only returns half of it, or never return it. Although I understand that she has financial difficulties sometimes, we did my best to help her. What about me, I kept losing money like that, I have to pay my bills too. What kind of friend is that? I don't want to let her borrow any of my money anymore. What should I do? Not letting her borrow money, it also meant the friendship might be harmed.
4 people like this
21 responses
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
4 Apr 09
You need to tell her "NO". Tell her that you are also having trouble financially and that you are sorry but you are unable to lend out any more money. If that harms the friendship then she wasn't much of a friend anyway. I could not imagine borrowing money off from a friend and then not paying it back as promised. I care to much about my friendships. Apparently this person does not.
• United States
4 Apr 09
Sometimes you have to put your foot down. If she is as real friend she will understand. If she doesn't then she was not a real friend and you lose nothing anyway. This is my opinion anyway. There are real friends and their are users. Be careful when dealing with users.
@springs (926)
• India
24 Mar 09
Don't get into her's stage by giving money to her.You told that she is in real need of money so she may borrow money from others.You gave alot ,stop now and take care of urself.
@springs (926)
• India
24 Mar 09
If u don't have money then why should u give her.You are telling that she is really in need of money,if u say no then she may ask help from somebody.Take care of ur own life first,don't get into her's stage by borrowing money from others.Thank you.
• United States
24 Mar 09
Okay this is your best bet don't loan your friend money that you can't afford to give to her. If loaning your friend money makes you late on your own bills then you didn't have that money to loan in the first place. Since you know that she don't pay borrowed money back then no don't loan her cash that you can't spare. Money have ruin a ton of friendships so don't let it ruin your to...... Great Day..... Wish u two the best.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
24 Mar 09
If you had not loaned anymore money until she had paid her debt in full you would not have been in this predicament. This so-called "Friend" is using you for her own purposes. If she was a friend she would never do this. You need to move on before she ruins your life. Get away from her NOW.
• China
24 Mar 09
I think you could honestly talk to her about your real thoughts though this maybe caught her unhappy.But you have already help her many times as possible as you can.Now the finicial crisis get worse and worse,everyone earning money is not an easy thing.I think she would understand you.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Hello Clorissa, it is good to help a friend, but when a friend starts to abuse you, then you have to be vocal and tell her about your situation. It is not wrong to help her with her financial problem as long as in return she will also do the same thing for you and at the same time, when she promised you something like returning back the money, it will be true. I know that you have been struggling to help this friend of yours so please tell her nicely that you also needed the money for paying bills and much more you would appreciate if she will be able to pay back the same amount she borrowed from you. If their situation is really hard this time, then give her time to pay you back. But don't push her much on how to pay you. You need to understand her too, but at least tell her what you feel, don't avoid the issue, tell it straight to her. Happy mylotting!
@la_chique (1499)
24 Mar 09
Its best to be honest. I've had friends before who have done exaclty the same. Just tell her you really cant afford to keep giving her money if she wont pay it back. Tell her that obviously you'd like to help her as much as possible because that's what friends do, but that you feel that its unfair of her just to keep taking more and more money when you're struggling yourself. Maybe she sees what you've been lending to her as a non-repayable gift. At least if you speak to her about it she'll know exactly how you feel and know that you too have financial issues to consider. Good luck x
• India
24 Mar 09
ok u said that ur friend always ask u for money but after taking it she dont pay it fully. she always pays u half. ok now what u have to do i sthat. just go to her house qand asl her some money. if she gives u any how then think that she is realy need ful but if sh e dont then just stop giving her money. and if she asks u money than tell her that u have to invested it right now.just before 5 minutes.ok than she will not ask u again.
@yenwie84 (1345)
• Malaysia
24 Mar 09
You should stop letting her money anymore. I think she is taking advantage on you and takes everything for granted. She is not a sincere friend anyways and she is not appreciating you as a true friend who has been helping her so much. You should let her know actually you care about her attitude and you are kind of disappointed of what she has done to you. Bear in mind,we need to choose our friends carefully in our life not until they mess up our life. Cheers,good luck.
• India
24 Mar 09
yes ofcourse you should help her more, if she is doing right use of your money.your money wiil return or it dose'nt matter because god gave you this to help others and make your buddjet accordingly.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Mine is different experience, i have a new friend, actually, a co-teacher of mine. We became friends last Jan 2008. I was surprised to this friend because at first, she was very generous, she gave me loads for my mobile phone, she even gave me free snacks and she was very nice to me. I received text messages and call from her everyday. In return, I was nice to her also. She asked me to help her decorate her classroom, I helped her but this few months ago, everything change. She seldom visit me in my room and never texted me anymore but we talked everytime we see in school. Last week, she called me up twice because she's asking me for a favor twice, and I helped her again. My husband noticed that this friend of mine will only call and approached me nicely when asking for something. Actually, I feel irritable when we see in school now because I feel she's not a real friend anymore to me. She's one of the reasons why I will transfer to another school.
@scheng1 (24741)
• Singapore
24 Mar 09
Is she making any effort to reduce her financial problem? I mean I can understand if she is sick or someone in the family is sick, that's out of her control. Even then, she can find out some public assistances to help her. The worst is that she is not working and not making effort to find job, and not making effort to reduce her expenses. Hopefully your friend is not such a leecher to leech dry your money.
@pavan4568 (122)
• India
24 Mar 09
I think you can sit with her and explain your problems clearly and i mean, you don't have to ask her to return back the money she borrowed directly but you can atleast reveal your concerns in a pleasing manner like you have so and so expenses to be borne and do not have enough money . At least, when you discuss your concerns she would able to know otherwise she might keep asking you money every now and then.
@tjdas83 (178)
• Malaysia
24 Mar 09
Like in everything else, friendships have limits too. If a cry for help from a friend is within your means, then you should go ahead and help. 'Within your means' is the keyword here. As selfish as this may sound, you always have to take care of yourself first before others. There is no point going broke in the name of friendship. Let her know why you are unable to help her all the time. If she ends the friendship because of this, then she never really was a true friend at all. Maybe she doesn't know that you can't help her financially all the time. If she did know and still expects you to borrow her money, than she is just using you.
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
24 Mar 09
My husband had a similar situation with a friend of his before. He actually still owes my husband quite a bit of money, and has never paid any of it back. It has been so frustrating for both of us! We actually moved recently because of my husband's job, so we don't have to worry about that guy anymore, but when my husband was still working with him, he sort of just stopped hanging around him as much. He also made sure not to lend money to him anymore. He tried to still remain friendly with the guy, but he just made a point to not hang out with him, so that he wouldn't have a chance to ask for money anymore!
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
24 Mar 09
My dear friendship is not about money. It is about support and love. Tell your friend that you cannot continue to help her where money is concern because you have your responsibilities as well. It is wrong to be a hypocrite and I know that you don't want to come across as such. Having a heart to heart talk with her let her know that she still has outstanding balances and you are looking towards collecting it. I have lost a lot of friends when I didn't have anything more to give to them. Was it friendship at the time No. I thought it was but they were only there because I was willing to put myself aside for them. If after talking with her she begins to shun you then you will know if indeed she was a friend. Peter denied Christ and Judas betrayed him but Jesus still forgive them. My these stories were told so that we become smart were friendship are concern. All the best
@Boofybutt (316)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I used to have a friend that's the same way. If she's truly your friend she'll understand that you cannot loan her money, because you and your family and needs have to come first. If she doesn't understand that, then she's not really your friend. Hopefully though, she'll understand, and maybe, if you word it just right, she'll pay you back a little more. I finally got $20 of the $100 my friend owed my by telling her that I had to borrow money from my mother to fill the gas tank, so she gave me just enough that I wouldn't have to borrow it from my parents.
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
24 Mar 09
This is a hard one, I have been in the same position, and I have been told by other friends that I am mad but I often think friends help each other and sometimes especially in these hard times some people may find it hard to pay back money borrowed, I must be honest I can't see my friends go through financial problems if i can help them and I think to myself that they would pay me back if they could...as I said it is a hard one to work out ..