Is he a stalker or just a hopeless admirer?

Philippines
March 23, 2009 9:43pm CST
I used to work in a university a few years back and would occasionally receive love notes and gifts from an anonymous admirer. I was an early bird and would be the first to arrive in the office and I would usually find letters slipped under the door or some package left outside. He would always sign in his name as WT in every note and that's the only clue that I have of his identity I wondered a few times who could he be but never give an effort to find out because I was pretty much occupied with much important things. I then resigned, go freelance and got married. Then yesterday from out of the blue, I found in my home mailbox a note signed in with the same WT initial. There is no doubt that he is the same person. I was both confused and a bit afraid. I almost forgotten about it because it had been like almost 4 years since I've last receive his last note. I had mixed emotions when I read his letter. He wrote of how happy he is to have found me again and that he still feels the same way even if I was already married. He also said that I should not be afraid because he means no harm and watching me even from afar just makes him happy and that's all he wants. Its kind of weird but I'm more afraid and gets paranoid at times everytime I go out of the house. What do you think should I do? Should I really be afraid? Could I really take his word that he means no harm? Is he a stalker or just a hopeless admirer? Should I report this to the police? Please advice me.
2 people like this
5 responses
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
24 Mar 09
I think if you are feeling scared and very much frightened, there is no harm in reporting the matter to Police. However, if you feel alright, you may wait for few more days to see, if he repeadedly sends a Note to you, or the one you received was the 'only' note. I can understand that he may make nor harm to you, yet by sending such Note(s), specially, when he has come to know that you got married, is invasion of your privacy in my view and no one has any right to invade your privacy, without your consend and to make you feel unfortable in such a way. All the best.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Thanks,I guess you're right, I'll wait a week or two. In the meantime, I have to be careful.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
25 Mar 09
I hope you will come to know about his real intentions in few weeks time and meanwhile you try to be cautious from your end. All the best.
• United States
28 Mar 09
hello misschivy...don't you know that this man is stalking to me too?hehehe..scary.. lol!
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Hello misschivy! Well, if it's good looking, probably it's an admirer but if the person is ugly, he is a stalker..hehehe..lol Seriously speaking, you should really be alarmed. I mean, my God he looked for you and he wrote to you saying how much he still loves you although he's married. Just the idea of knowing that someone is following you everywhere is a little bit scary actually. But don't panic yet, maybe he is just a hopeless admirer. Wait for few days and observe, if nothing happens, then nothing for you to worry about. I might even think he stops following you now especially that he knows you're married.
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
He is probably ugly considering the way he hides himself hahaha. Maybe he has only half a face like the Phantom of the Opera hehehhe. Anyway, its been a week and no notes have surfaced in my mailbox. I'm a bit relieved but not quite comfortable. Still we are all keeping watch. I just hope that he will just forget about me and get on with his life.
• United States
29 Mar 09
probably, he loves you because he looks for you for so many years..but maybe when he found out that you're married, he decided to stop because it would be useless anymore..Hope he is not a pycho type though..just kidding..
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
27 Mar 09
I would report it to the police to be safe. I would be terrified if I found a note like that after four years. I wonder who WT could be...do you know anyone with those initials? or even ask people you knew from the university. I would try to figure out who he is and of course tell my husband.
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
Its hard to figure out his identity with his initial as our only clue. Even if I asked from the HRD office a list of all the employees or from the registrar office for the list of students, there would prabably be a dozen or two of people would have those initials. Besides this, we don't really know if those are his real initials. I did try to ask some people though but never had a lead on it.
@censae (72)
• United States
24 Mar 09
You may or may not be in danger. The truth is is that you know full well what is on your mind. You surely do not know what is on his. Did he always know where you lived or did he go through some trouble to find you? He is invading your privacy. That is harmful enough. Does your husband know? This person is enjoying his fantasy. What happens when something occurs in your life or his that displeases him---an interuption or what he thinks is a threat? All human behavior serves a need. What need does it serve for him. More importantly, exactly what does your behavior, your silence serve for you. This behavior is more often that not progressive. This person will probably want to get closer and closer to reality. Your silence may be taken as agreement. Be careful. At the very least, let some close to you know of this situation.
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
Thank you so much for your concern, Yes my husband knows about this, even before we got married. In fact he himself has read all the notes. And yes, I guess he knows even before where I lived because he once sent me a note or two at home before. We have been silent about this because in all his notes he seem to be someone who means no harm, he writes in such kind and earnest words. But then again, we don't really know him and must be cautious. My family already know and they too are keeping vigilant and agree that we should wait a week or two. We want to wait for the next note to show it to the police later. Also in the hope of knowing his real identity through fingerprints, my family advised me not to open any anonymous letter so we can get it to the police for fingerprint analysis. I just hope everything will be straighten out as soon as possible so I can have my peace of mind.
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Aww, that's really scary.. i mean, if i were in your place, i'd panic for sure.. i guess, it's best if you report it to the authorities.. you know, he might get so obsessed of you.. just let the police know about it.. it's better to be safe than sorry..because you know, it seems that your stalker is getting scarier as he knows where you live and he knows who you're with... take care!
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Thanks for the response. I'm a bit anxious but not really that scared. I'm trying my best to act as normal and stay as calm as I can because I don't want to give an impression that his presence has affected my normal way of living. I am of course taking precautions like avoiding being alone or always be with a companion at all times. I think I'll wait a bit and if he keeps sending more notes, I'll have to report him.