Is it rude to request no children at my wedding?

@godara (59)
India
March 24, 2009 7:16am CST
On a wedding invitation there is a note -I kind of do not want children, especially under 10, at my wedding due to the fact that they make noises throughout the ceremony and there will be alcohol at the reception. Is it not rude ?
6 people like this
23 responses
@fluffysue (1463)
• United States
24 Mar 09
No, it is not rude, it is your wedding, and you can have it any way you want it, but you need to make it very clear upfront. I wouldn't say exactly what you said there, but perhaps indicating "adults only" and then addressing the invitation specifically to the invited guests (no "and family", or "and guest"), should make it clear.
2 people like this
24 Mar 09
Not rude at all. I assume your invites have gone out months in advance. (I've never received a wedding invite less than six months in advance). There is usually plenty of time for people to make arrangements for their children if this is the case. The excuse of "well, there was no babysitter" doesn't sit when you've had several months to find one. It's your and your partner's day, not your guests'. They are there to make your day even better, not worse. Anyone that doesn't feel they can do that shouldn't be there anyway... is my very mercenary opinion
2 people like this
• Malaysia
24 Mar 09
I don't think it is rude. It is well understood that we only invite the couple minus the children to wedding parties especially in a hotel wedding where all seats are limited to invited guests only. Children have no place in a wedding party and I have never brought my kids to any wedding party as I understand the nuisance they create when they feel bored in a much adult gatherings. Couples who bring their children are inconsiderate to the host and should not be encouraged.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
24 Mar 09
As it's your wedding and you have to do what is gonna make you happy and what you feel is right. I think if I were put in that situation, I wouldn't go and share in your big day. As a rule, my husband and I always try to find a babysitter for our children when their's a wedding but sometimes that's not an option, so we have to take them, but if there was a note included then we would not attend, because we wouldn't want to intrude, or feel very unwelcomed. I think there's probably gonna be alot of hurt feelings over it, but that is a choice that you will have to make. You also have to look at your families, if there's alot of family members that have young children, it's gonna cause a huge conflict, if there's not then shouldn't be a huge deal, but can't say their won't be any comotion over it.
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
Hello Godara, nice topic. Well anyway about the note, it is not rude as long as you have clearly stated your reason why kids below 10 aren't allowed. First of all, it is your wedding, not a kid's birthday party that your guest will take their toddlers or babies along with them. If the reason would be because of noise, intrusion and such, i guess your invited guests would understand your point very well. Anyway how about those flower girls and boys, would they too be aged 10 above? just a question anyway Happy Mylotting!
2 people like this
@tea512 (687)
• United States
24 Mar 09
not at all, there is one thing you might consider is if you have people in the wedding party with kids, it is a hassle, although it is nice to get away from the kids when you can. You did not state your brother and sister in any situation if they have kids it could make it tough for them as most of their network of babysitters will be at your wedding. It is not rude and it is your day.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Mar 09
It could be percieved as rude. Most people are under the impression that thier children are perfect and everyone likes having them around, so I would not be surprised if they took offence. If there are many guests who have children, it would be a good idea to make arrangements with this in mind, rather than just telling them "no kids" and letting them figure out how to handle it (especially for out of town guests, this is difficult). Perhaps hire a couple of adults to watch the younger children in a nearby but seperate location.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Mar 09
No I don't think it is rude. It is your wedding and things should be how yall want them. Hope you have a wonderful wedding day. Maybe you could have a spot with people to care for them during the wedding and a spot for the party afterwards that is for the children as well, if you have family that will be upset with you.
2 people like this
• China
25 Mar 09
In my mind ,it is not rude,but if there are no children at my wedding,maybe i won't feel bad at that moment,but after that when i watch the wedding videography,no lovely faces of children ,what a pity!
1 person likes this
@Savvynlady (3686)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Sometimes I think it's best. Reason being because kids tend to be disruptive. The very last wedding I went to, both parties of the wedding kids got disruptive and there was really nothing too much to do because the parents and grandparents were all in the wedding. So no I don't think so.
1 person likes this
@desireeo (595)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Aww, no flower girls? I love them...Anyways, it is your wedding so I guess people will have to understand your wishes. It would definitely sadden those guests who have kids and can find nobody to watch them when they go to your wedding. If it is not uncommon in your place to request that no kids are allowed in the wedding then I guess it is okay. I just hope everybody would show up...kidding!
• United States
25 Mar 09
No it id not rude..weddings are mostly for adults anyway. Children just get in the way sometimes and it is a special moment that 2 adults are sharing...Childern do not need to attend everything!!!
1 person likes this
@blion23 (404)
• United States
24 Mar 09
No, what you are doing is perfectly fine. Children under the age of about 10 can have short attention spans and may have trouble sitting through the whole wedding. Some younger children also are notorious for screaming at weddings, such as mine, and need to be coddled to calm down. To give you a candid response, no, I think that it is better to not have younger children there, however, having children that are more mature and older is fine. Make sure that you use clarity on your wedding invitations though, so that you friends know why you do not want younger children there.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
24 Mar 09
[i]Hi godora, You have a valid point also. I will not say it is rude since you have all the rights for setting a standard for your special day...But, I find this new actually, never heard anyone of my friends are doing this before....But, as I've said, it will be ideal not to have little ones to make the ceremony more solemn![/i]
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
24 Mar 09
I don't think its rude, if worded correctly. Children make noise, thats just the nature of little ones. I wish restaurants had rooms for no children. I can't afford to eat out often. And it seems that every time I do someone sits a family next to our table with a bunch of screaming kids. If I'm going to pay good money for a relaxing dinner out I don't want to fend off food fights or listen to screams. And that is also why I could understand someone not wanting children at their wedding. You want romantic, not screams.
1 person likes this
@bubbletush (1334)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
I do not think it is rude. I also had that indicated in my wedding invitation that there should be no children. I also indicated the number of seats reserved in the invitation so there is no way unwanted visitors can tag along. A seat plan is also provided to the ushers. I do not see the need for children to come to the wedding unless they have participation in the ceremony. For me, wedding is a solemn celebration and meant to be attended by adults.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2409)
• United States
24 Mar 09
It is your wedding, so you should do it however you want. I have to relate a personal experience, though. My cousins requested no children at their wedding. We would be traveling to a different state to the wedding and had no one to leave our children with in our home state. So, we didn't go to the wedding. My cousin was very disappointed. If you do choose not to have children at your wedding you may consider providing a babysitter, even if it is at a hotel room or some central location to your ceremony and reception. Your guests may not feel as left out or that you don't want them there.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Not at all. A lot of people are doing that right now. At first it may sound kind of rude but come to think of it, this is an adult ceremony and children may get bored. They will not as well understand what's happening. When I was a kid I would just wish not to go to occasions like that because aside from it's tiring, it's also boring.
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
25 Mar 09
I never heard of that before, no childern are welcomed at a wedding? I don't think it is rude but it is really weird to do that, I know some kids are really noisy and running around, it could be very annoying. Maybe they have seen so many bad weddings with kids making noise and running at weddings.
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Its not rude