How do you move on?

@buggles64 (2715)
United States
March 24, 2009 1:18pm CST
How do you move on when you love someone and it's apparent that they don't feel the same way about you? It's been four years since I confessed my love to the man of my dreams, and I still can't move on. I want to, but I am having a hard time really "moving on!" I am hoping that a move will help, and meeting other people. What would you do to forget the love of your life? Or would you try one more time to get him to talk to you with the threat that something could go wrong?
3 people like this
19 responses
@Markio (2)
• China
25 Mar 09
Time will prove everything.Let the time prove to you wether he should be forgotten or not.
1 person likes this
• Sweden
25 Mar 09
Just fall in love with someone else. I mean not talking to them for many years will put your feelings down but then perhaps when you see them and talk to them again your feelings come rushing back. I'm also the kind that really just stays in love no matter what. Then someone pops into my life and steals my heart and I let them do it and so I move on to them. I really can't think of anything more than just distance yourself from him and just let yourself fall in love with someone new.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Yep, it's really hard to move on. I suggest you go see others and try to look for 'the one' for you. Once you meet that person, I'm sure you'll forget all about the other guy soon enough.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Mar 09
We can, if we really love them by heart strong, we can bring the stars from the sky, go to moon and do what we want, if you really loves him and the same way the man loves you, nobody is there to interfere between you and him and wait for the time and try to build the things what u think is right, dont be negative, my story is exactly like you, i will do the necessary changes where i need to move, definitely i have hope and am trying to move on, have a nice day
1 person likes this
@athinapie (1152)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Hi there! Just keep yourself busy and spend a lot of time with your true friends who could really give you and advise or two. Be open to possibilities of loving again though not necessarily the person you once loved. And most of all, choose to be happy.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Mar 09
Just wait until I love another person so as to forget the former one I have ever loved or tried to take up some interesting thing to shift your emotion.Well,I think if he is also love me,he will talk to me no matter of the troubles.But meantime,you must give him a hope that your determination is the same as his.My first confession to my lover is just to confess to him face to face.He was so shocked but accepted my love,though finally we aren't together for many reasons. Just go out with your friends and maybe you will find your love.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
like so many advices you hear on your everyday life, it seems more harder on which ones to follow. most especially when you're bitten by love. in your case, i can say that we're on the boat. only that we have different color because you were able to gather the courage on saying your feelings to the man of your dreams while me on the other hand chose to love the love of my life in silence. but i keep telling myself that just because i love this person it doesn't mean the person has to love me back. not unless God himself will make it happen. but we all have our wallowing days where we suffer from our unrequited love but at least we have something to be proud of and that is the thought that we are able to love unconditionally. if ever things will not work out between the both of you, just have the heart to accept that everything is not meant to be. but at least you had the risk to try it and was able to know where you'll stand now. not everyone can have the courage like what you did (example, me. LOL). don't worry. i know there's someone for everyone. let him come to you. while waiting for him, do divert yourself from doing things that interest you. at least, it can distract you a little. cheers! =)
1 person likes this
@ice_hot (13)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
hmmmmmmm... yep it can be hard sometimes... but would you rather spend the rest of your life hurting? its your choice really. choose to be happy. there are lots of good people out there. i bet you'll find one in no time if only you would allow yourself to do so...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
in my case, once i have accepted that the guy will never come back and that he does not care for me the way i care for him at the time, it made me think why should i continue hoping for him to come back when there may be other guys out there who deserve my care and attention more than he does. i am the type of person who likes people if they like me, i don't care about people who don't care about me too. and i spent more time with more important things like studies, friends and family so they helped me a lot in moving on. it was hard at the time and i kept crying and even wished i get amnesia so i can forget about him but eventually i was able to forget the hurt and the care for him faded too.
1 person likes this
@vworld4u (144)
• India
25 Mar 09
It is very very difficult to forget someone whom you loved! But it is not Impossible to move on. For that one need not forget the relationship, but have to divert thoughts on to different direction. It is by this diversion a person can make new friendships, relationships etc. Firstly, move out of that person (don't stay near him/her where you see that person frequently). This just helps to see a different world around you and start getting adjusted to the new world! The new world will teach you different lessons. Secondly, Try to mingle with happy people who preaches happiness and joy to your life. You will be forced to act like happy person initially, but will set your mind to happiness as time goes on with company of such happy people. Thirdly, don't try to suppress your feelings. Share them. Suppressing a love feeling will only enhance it, but sharing feelings with a close friend will lighten it. Try to identify a nice and close friend with whom you can share your feelings, events of your life which hurt you earlier. This will get you a good consolation. To get out of such tragical moments, you can view my blog at advice.com and search for "Advice on Getting out of Depression due to personal tragedies".
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Thanks.
• China
25 Mar 09
I think maybe it is time for stoppong your love to the man. Four years has proved that the man does not have the same feeling with you. If he has just a lillte love for you, i believe, he would be moved by your four years waiting. It is bad to insist the thing which should not be insisted. Wanting to sweeping him from you life? I think first you should do is to make no connection with him. His phone, the place you have ever gone, all things about him should throw away. Moreover you can do other things you interest to devert your attention from him. Maybe a long and far travelling can works. The best way to forget a love is to start a new love.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Yes, you are so right...start a new love. Hmmm, where to look.
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
how to move on? eat right. Exercise. Hang out with friends. Get enough sleep. In short don't let sadness make you physically sick. When your body is healthy, you feel good, when you feel good you make good decisions and have a healthy self-esteem
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Wise words.
@psyche49f (2511)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
There's always a limit to trying and failing. If after several futile attempts you still fail, it's already a big sign for you to move on, and do it fast. It's easier said than done, but give yourself 2-3 months, and you'll finally rid of the person in your system. Go out, circulate, accept invitations, be genuinely interested in people, be gracious, always look your best....and don't even try to overdo it. One day, the right one will just knock right through your door without you knowing it. Time heals, so I guess the moving on will have to start at once....good luck.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Time heals all wounds,right?
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Hi buggles64, moving on is not that easy, memories will always be there, but carrying on it's just up to you until when? Usually it's a big question mark specially if you always remember and treasure it. I think until now you still pick up the broken pieces. Life and love is a journey, we make it or we don't make it, remember you still have a life to go on, it's been to long I know you can make it, or maybe no one else can go up to your standard. I think you have to go some where that you can think really finding yourself first. Life is so beautiful it's sharing it to other that helps a lot by moving on. Have a nice day to you!
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Excellent choice of words, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
well i don't really know what to tell you. i have never been is the same situation. because i have never been as brave as you to confess my feelings to somebody. and i do admire you for that. i don't have much courage to tell someone what i really feel for him. but don't rush, it will heal sooner and you'll get over it. it takes a little time and you can move on again. just enjoy life and happy mylotting!
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Thanks :)
• Philippines
24 Mar 09
if i were you...ill just let it pass..there is someone for you out there that is really meant for you..try to go out with friends and enjoy...try dating others and keep yourself busy...you will later realize that you were able to move on and when you look back..you will just laugh at it that for once in your life you fell in love with someone who wasn't worth it..
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
You are so right. Thanks for such heartfelt words.
@snowy22315 (47174)
• United States
24 Mar 09
After four years I think things are pretty unlikely to change. I think that you could try to forget about him, and I think your idea about moving on, and meeting other people is a good one. I guess that you are just kind of trying to get over it and that moving your physical location is probably a pretty good thing to do.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Yes, definitely seeking a new location. And you are right circumstances are unlikey to change. I already gave it my best shot.
• United States
25 Mar 09
For everyone it is different. For me I unexpectedly fell in love with someone else. It was not planned and I was not looking. Next thing I knew I was over the other person. I could tell right away because as soon as he decided he wanted to see me, I was digusted. Yuck I was in love with someone else.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
25 Mar 09
That is a situation that can really prove hurtful. I would feel that moving on is probably the hardest thing to do. Love is a powerful thing and if it seems to go unrequited then it can hurt even more. There have been times in my life where I was hurt and my feelings were not returned. I had always wished that certain people would just feel the same way about me but there is just nothing you can do to make someone love you. You just have to go on. Sometimes you end up being surprised in the end. There could be someone special waiting around the corner for you. What happens then is the fact that if you find a new person that interests you, in time you will wind up forgetting about the last person that broke your heart. I know it sounds easy but nothing about life or love is simple. I say go ahead and mix and mingle with other people. Make friends and somewhere out there is someone waiting to meet you. Best of luck. I hope this helped my friend.