will you choose Someone you love or someone who loves you?

Philippines
March 25, 2009 3:02am CST
I know this is a common discussion. Even in other forums discussions about this is never ending. But I just want something from experience. A situation wherein you have to choose. what happened, or how was the experience. It can be choosing the one who loves you or choosing someone you love. In my case I was able to experience both. I always believe that choosing the one I love is the best thing to do. so I always do that. If I love a person, I will fight for him. So, there is this man whom I love so much. when we were still together, he vanished. just like a bubble no words from him. But I waited since we didn't break up. and waited. I ask common friends to set up dates for us. so it happened. we were together again. after a long journey, all I got is heartaches. We still didn't end up together. But I never regret anything that happened. it was all an experience. So this guy come. i thought we we're just playing, until in the end he was serious about me. and loves me so much at first, i didn't love him. but still continued the relationship. on the process I learned to love him. and now, we are happily married now... so I guess for me, choosing someone who loves me is better. how about you mylotters, any experience on this?
7 people like this
27 responses
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Hello red! In my case, I haven't experienced it too. When I met my husband online, our feelings were mutual. We did like each other eventually. My husband is my first boyfriend so I never tried to break someone's heart or never tried to be heart - broken. But if you will let me choose one between the two. I would rather choose a person who loves me that loving someone who doesn't love me. I am the kind of person who easily fall in love especially if the guy is handsome and the guy let me feel I am special like what my husband do..hehehe
2 people like this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
hi aisa! wow that's nice. you met your husband online. Yes, loving a person who loves you is not that hard. take care
• United States
25 Mar 09
yes, we met online..hehehe..sorry for the typo above..
@tipay26 (873)
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
hi there wow that's nice to hear you met your husband online..I have a boyfriend now and we met through ym chat...this stories like yours are living proof that love moves in mysterious ways isn't that a song? nah, kidding! but honestly now,i'd rather choose the one who loves me.why?loving a person who loves you is a great feeling knowing that you are loved and no matter what happens that person will love and accept you for who you are really..unlike when you loved a person and that person never loved you back , you are on the receiving end of getting hurt it is very easy for that person to dump and forget you because that person never loved you..
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
this happened to me already. when i met the girl i really love.... someone likes me and i still choose the one i love. almost all my relatives and family is against that for they like the girl who likes me. but still i picked the one i love. i proved to her that i am worth and we are now married for six years and we have a three year old son
2 people like this
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
hi! wow that's nice. eventually the girl loved you back. but at first does she likes you also? take care
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
she likes me as a friend on the start and no more than that. i just gave my best and proved her that i love her and my intentions are real. it was not that easy for when she was starting to like me relatives started to tell her that i will soon get married to the girl who likes me. i have a set of heart and headache relatives. lucky she didint believe but it was a rocky road i can say. but no matter what was that and how hard that was we are still together inseperable.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
wow! that's is really nice. you prove to her that you are worth of his love. in her case, she choose someone who loved her. take care
• China
25 Mar 09
about this topic, i should say that if i were you, i'll do the same, choose the one who loves me. if you change the one you love, you'll be happy with him(her).but if after so long time, you've never changed him(her) to be the one in your mind. I think it will be very unhappy to live with him(her). so l'll choose the one who loves me.
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
i think choosing the one who loves you will save you from heartaches thanks for the response
@bettydeng5 (1709)
• China
29 Sep 09
I can experience what you discussed, I send my best wishes to you, because you find a man who love you much than you love him, I agreed your choice. Why I said that, because like you talked, if you love the man however he doesn't love you much, so you will be affected by him often, and at last you will the sad one. I married with my husband, and I always think I love him much more than he love me, so I often felt I'm so eager to get his love, but I often felt so tired, so my experience was that to marry the man who love you much, I envy your marriage.
• Philippines
30 Sep 09
hello bettydeng, Just let your husband feel your love always, and hopefully in time he will return the love that you give him, over the year he will love you more. best of luck to you thanks for the response oh, and welcome to mylot!
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
I would rather choose the one who loves me because i have almost spent my entire life loving the person i loved and just played me for a fool. i am a small learner and it took me almost a while to realize how stupid I was back then. it's a good thing my bestfriend(husband now) stood for me to the bitter end. oh, i mean happy ending.
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
hi mikaela, that was a nice choice. sometimes, we don't realized that people around us is the one who loves us truly. take care thanks for the response
@rakesh284 (1473)
• India
25 Mar 09
Even I will prefer to love one who loves me and will happy spend my life that person. If one will go for the person whom he or she loves then there might be some problems as there is no love from both sides. If you love one who loves you then you just have to love the other person and there will never be any problems in there life?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
hi rakesh. I think there will be lesser problem if you choose someone you love. like what's happening to me now. thanks
• India
25 Mar 09
i prefer de one who loves me since she ll really care 4 u
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
hi kumar! thanks for the response
@savypat (20247)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I don't think love is ever equal in a relationship. In the long term the balance will switch back and forth. So enjoy what you have and be thankful for it. Blessings
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
Yes I am very thankful for my husband for loving me so much
@chimrani (1430)
• India
25 Mar 09
friend i choose only who i love not someone who loves me.Iam the age of 21 and many girls from my locality and from my college loves me and many of them tried to come my house and talked with my family for marriage but i love on girl and married her and she is my wife now. "Every body only choose only who they love not someone who loves them"
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
hi chimrani! that's good. for a guy, it is better to prove to the one you love that you are worth of their love. take care
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
I am confused. If I would suggest it must be mutual.It would be hard for the other party if the feeling would not be mutual. But since love is patience and need sacrifices I would prefer to the one whose in loved. I would rather take all the patience and sacrifices in convincing my beloved to love me the way I did for her... The thrill would be there and challenges. Besides I would like that I would be the underdog....Cheers
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
Hi! that is nice of you. I guess for guys its good to go for someone you love. take care
@ank_47 (1963)
• India
25 Mar 09
yes i also think that choosing someone who loves me is better,then he gives more concentration towards me and he gives more freedom to me . but we have got arranged marriage ,which our parents have choosen,and now nothing can do. he just loves me normally. and i feel he has less care towards me .
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
Hi! did you learn to love him now? is it hard to be in an arrange marriage?
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
25 Mar 09
Receiving is always better. Now if I know that I am loved a hell lot by someone I would be too happy but if I know that that love has come from one who I am the last person to build love for. A precarious situation indeed. I just can not sacrifice my dream love only because some body loves me heart and soul. After all I am a human being and would like to remain so. Here sadly though I am bound to break her heart. However you can not predict human psychology. If I change my outlook and feel that bodily love or beauty lasts no long and hence it would be better to opt for one who really, selflessly loves me would be my final choice.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
hi giving is also good. and reciprocating the love being given to you is nice also. take care
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
I would have to go for the one who loves me... I am not sure if you'd agree with me or otherwise...but we could easily learn to love a person as long as they treat us right.... it would be very sad to be in a relationship with someone whom you love so much but you're not even sure if he feels the same..... you'll die trying to find out.....and insecurity would always creep in...
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
Hello pat! I agree with you 100%. I have tried both. choosing someone I love and I just got hurt, That's why, now I choose someone who loves me very much and I am happy with that decision
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
yea... for any woman, nothing feels best than being secured in a relationship... i would never want to live every single day with doubts and constantly wondering where I stand in my man's life....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
you are right. though sometimes, I tend to be spoiled, or very comfortable that my partner will never leave me, that sometimes, I miss expressing my love to him. I have to be more considerate to his feelings
@Nancy312 (283)
• China
26 Mar 09
I prefer to choose the one who loves me,only if he treats me well and has good personality,positive,motivated ,then i recon i can find his more excellences in the near future and loves him gradually But if i choose the one whom i love,i think i will be tired.Because i have to think of anything that i can do for him and try to treat him as good as possible to win his love ? Oh,that will be terrible.Perhaps finally he doesn't love me at all,only form the habit of what i do for him. And he will not care me because he believes that i love him ,so i'm willing to do everything for him .One day,when he meet another girl and find himeself love her.Then he will debandon me and look after his true love ? It's true that my friends met such man. Anyway,i think people all prefer to choose one who you love and to be loved. Wish you are happy!
• China
26 Mar 09
AS sensilibity as woman is, i thing she should prefer to choose a man who she loved before she get married.Sure,i know that if you choose a man who love you ,you will get blessedness,and nomatter what do you want ,he wii do his best to get it for you ,but ,that is not affection,at least i think affection is one thing about two peoples ,they are falled in love with each other. Once,i had heard that a person might meet three people in its life,the first is who he/she loved, the second is who love he/she,the last is got married with you .this is a very important experience for a life .so you should treasure itand should make a decision at discretion.before do it ,calculate it seriously,for you and your family
@ajithlal (14568)
• India
30 Mar 09
I always love to have a person who loves me rather than a person whom I loves. I think it is fun spend time with a person who loves you rather than a person whom doesn't love us. I have loved a lots of person in my life, but never got the love back. I am waiting for a person to come into my life and love me a lot. I am still single and hopes to get married within one year.
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
i don't have any real experience in this, but i have read some stories similar to the situation. in my opinion, choosing someone you love who doesn't love you back is not the wisest decision. for if you choose someone like that, love becomes a one-way street. one will always give and the other takes. your roles do not interchange and you become lonely trying to make this person happy and in the process, your loved one becomes bored because he/she is spending his/her life with someone who they do not love. it was wise for you to choose someone who loves you because that's usually the case when you choose someone like that. you gradually fall in love with them and you're not forced to love them. they also make you happy and love becomes a two-way street once again. i hope i answered your question. have a nice day. :D
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
26 Mar 09
TO me, i think the best way is to choose someone whom loves u more than u love him/her ^_^ It might be selfish in a way, but love is selfish.. NObody wants to be hurt in love, and instead of letting oneself to be hurt by others, we tend to minimise our chances by choosing to be with the ones whom love us instead ^_^ But then again, love do hurts, and if it does not hurts, it's not love.. When it comes to ple whom loves us more, they tend to be more patient, and even though there might be hurtful times for them, from us, they will still accept it for, they love us for everything ^_^
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
Although of course almost everybody chooses someone whom they love very much than those who loves them, really of couse, How would you be going with someone for a long period of time whom you don't really love. So, it's quite hard going to someone you don't love much. According to others or maybe even from my mom, those who loves you very much can bear with you even to the least possible things. They would understand and care for you that much, while with the man you loved so much, you'll always be the one to adjust, to understand all his misdoings. For me however I love the man who loves me and I love him on a 50-50 basis, a give and take situations, both understand each other, a smooth going relationship but sad ending I lost him due to kidney malfunction after 12 years of being together.
@Informer (803)
• India
26 Mar 09
HI Red, If I have the choice I would go for "The person who loves me".. Because If we love someone we care for him/her, we never try to anything which give pain to him/her. And if someone is doing that for me. caring me, loving me,So i don't think I should leave or avoid that person....
@eselmaro (208)
• Philippines
26 Mar 09
I dunno how many times I met this question in my life. Now, it is in myLot. Still, I would choose the person who loves me. I know later on I will learn how to love him in return. I would be so cruel if I will not try to do it the other way. A day will come that we'll realize that we are so much inlove to each other already. I will not force someone to love me even if I love him so much. That's selfishness.