could anyone kindly tell me how to clean the house and keep the house tidy?

China
March 25, 2009 8:14am CST
one of my male friends visited my boyfriend's house on tuesday,he told one of my female friend that :my bf and me were lazy,because the house was very dirty and very mess.i was so sad, i just cleaned the house on last sunday. i am not good at house work,especiall poor at keep tidy.and my bf , he likes cooking ,but he hate cleaning the house and washing plates.he likes to throw his clothes everywhere,he can see the trash as nothing ,he never mind live in very dirty and mess house.because we work in different place,i just can go there on weekends,i just can clean the house on weekends. i am very sad about what my friends said,i had tried my best , i don't know how to change my bf bad habit.i always get angry with him about this,but he just can't easily to change. could you kindly tell me ,what shall i do?
3 people like this
22 responses
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
25 Mar 09
I just don't understand why is your fault at all that the house is dirty when is only your BF living in it, and you are there on weekends to clean it for him?. Well I would tell him to get his act together and clean the place himself, you are not his slave, and tell him to get real! And if your friends complain about the house being dirty ask them to help you clean up.
@BizzyB (58)
• United States
25 Mar 09
This person you thought to be a "friend" may not be a "friend" after all. Friends can be open with one another and tell each other what they think. This one can't, this one has a need to turn you down amongst others. That's not a true friend! Most humans that know what it is like to work and keep house, especially knowing you are not there during the week, only on weekends, would just start helping to clean up, but because this so called "friend" of yours is a male shovenistic pig himself, that would be out of his league, and the only thing he is capable of doing is condemning others, especially ones that think of him as a "friend". This person is no saint himself. I'm sure he is far from being perfect. And, I'm sure he's not the one that keeps his house tidy, if indeed it is tidy... Because you say he is your friend, I would do what friends do. I would call him on the phone or I would pay a visit to him in person and I would tell him how upset you are with the way he went about this situation...talking about you, and not in a good way, behind your back. I wouldn't beat around the bush....I would be straight up and ask if he talks about all his friends behind their backs. Let him know how he hurt your feelings, speak your mind. Hopefully he will think before he speaks the next time. If he doesn't have anything good to say, why say anything at all. "Friends" don't talk about other friends behind their backs, unless it's about something good.
• China
25 Mar 09
i used to think so ,i am not his slave but his gf, if he don't care why i neet to do for him? but if you love one person, you can devote yourself to him you hope him to live well
@orenji (39)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Uh oh. I love cleaning the house and keeping it tidy. A place that is clean and in order is a place of serenity. It's more calming that way. Well for starters you can do small steps everyday because a general cleaning although will cover your whole place is somewhat tiring. Also try to incorporate these small steps on your routine everyday. From there you'll form the habit of keeping the house clean. Let your boyfriend do the same. Sweep the floors every morning. While in it, put the magazines or the throw pillows in its proper places. Do the dishes after every meal. Making sure that the kitchen is in order too. Get a hamper where the dirty clothes can be kept. Things like these. But since you can only visit during weekends what you can do at best is to hire a cleaning lady. That way, there will be someone who'll keep an eye on the order of your boyfriend's house. I hope my post helped you a bit.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Mar 09
hi friend,thanks for so detail response yes,in order not let my bf throw clothes everywhere,i bought a hamper to keep dirty clothes.it does works:)
@rainmark (4306)
25 Mar 09
Your male friend has a big mouth lolz. Sorry but i hate those kind of attitude,why he needs to tell somebody about the dirty house,he sounds like the wife of my hubby's friend lolz. Our house is not super clean and not super dirty.I keep cleaning everyday but the toys of my sons is everywhere because he likes playing it so i just let him enjoy messing around the house the important is there's no dirt and dusts. All i can say is , everytime you finish eating you need to wash your plates and always put the stuff in the right place. It's not that hard job. Happy posting.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Mar 09
we four know each other,he told this to my female friends online,but that time i was just in front of my female friend computer, i saw what they talking.... it should be that,wash plates in time ,clean in time, it's still hard to me ,anyway i will try. and thanks for your good suggestion:)
@lilcee (2704)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Hi Jenny. Sorry to hear you are having a problem. The only suggestion I can give is to put things away when you aren't using them. A place for everything and everything in it's place is something I learned when I was younger. I don't know if that will help but it's worth a try. I'm not the best of house keepers. I don't like to clean but I like a clean house. I'm just not good at it. My house gets dusty sometimes but I don't have a lot of clutter so it doesn't look that bad. I hope this helps. Welcome to mylot and have a good lotting day.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Mar 09
hi licee, thanks you so much for sharing your experience yes, i will try to put everything in it's place, it's not only keep tidy but aslo it's convenient to find it next time.
1 person likes this
@natalusiQ (118)
• Slovak Republic
25 Mar 09
everybody has got some habits..you must cope with him...or he must change yourself..
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Do it a little at a time, and keep it up a little at a time. You will burn out and continue to get angry at your bf for his sloppiness if you clean in mad spurts and feel like you spend every Sunday doing it. The best thing to do is get it under control and keep it up a little at a time. I don't think you will change your bf. He may want to change for you if it means a lot to you, but unless he wants to change..... As for feeling bad about what your friend said, personally I think it was kind of rude for them to say it. Then I wonder too why your other friend told you he said it, also kind of rude in my book. But that's just me.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Welcome to myLot, btw! How you enjoy yourself around here, Jenny8520.
• China
26 Mar 09
thanks for your respone friend. they chatted online, but i just at the front of the computer,my female friend and me saw the message at the same time.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Keeping the home tidy is a matter of everyday picking up and cleaning. You have much less to do and it doesn't take so long to clean if you do it everyday...even just a little. Your boyfriend needs to start picking up after himself. Tell him you are not his mom, you are not his maid and he needs to start putting his things away where they go. Tell your boyfriend that you are ashamed of the way the home looks and that he must start helping by cleaning up after himself. You both work outside the home, therefore you both need to clean the home.
• China
26 Mar 09
thanks for your respone my friend. yes,i think both of us need to work, we need to share the housework, i am trying to find a good way to talk to him.
@Aquilis (175)
26 Mar 09
If you throw everything away, and then set fire to what is left you will find that this is a very easy way of making sure you have a nice clean home. Then with the insurance money you can buy yourself a new place. When this too becomes dirty simply repeat stages 1 and 2. I should so write a book with all my wonderful advice in it.... :)
• China
26 Mar 09
maybe a wonderful suggestion lol you can have a try ,then share us the result:)
• United States
28 Mar 09
If your really looking to get some help here. I am sure I can help you. Get up every morning and brush your teeth. After that wash out the bathroom sink and toilet. This can become very easy to do if you do it daily like we do here. While your boyfriend is cooking wash some of the dishes. Ask him to wipe and clean the stove while he is cooking. This will remove anything that can get hard to remove. While your online doing tasks and such. Take a 10 minute break to tidy the living room. That will also help you to ease the strain on your eyes. And release some blood back to your behind. After drinking or eating something clean up the dish you just used.
@starangel (414)
• United States
26 Mar 09
I'm not sure that's a real friend. I've had friends that had dirty houses due to stress or other things that kept them from doing it. Instead of gossiping about how lazy they were, I just cleaned up for them. My friend had just had a baby and she didn't have it in her to do anything on top of 2 older children she had to take care of, one in school the other still a toddler. Her floors got black...so i came in and cleaned for her. It wasn't a big deal. that's what friends do. I'm not sure what you can incorporate into your bf's mind since you're not living there and are only there on the weekends. Getting angry at him won't help. I find it very calming to take care of my things and make sure my place is good for my family. Sometimes things pile up because kids get sick, or kids decide they want to play with every toy they own and sometimes it does get tiring to constantly pick up after everyone one day just to do it again the next day. Maybe use some psychology methods on your BF. Tell him that generally when people expect company over they clean their home to show that the welcome them in. It shows respect for those that are coming in and you want them to feel comfortable in your home and that you want them over again. If you invite people over to a messy home, they won't want to come again. I feel uncomfortable when I go over to a persons house and it's mess. I feel like i'm invading their space and privacy. Maybe it's the way i was raised(perfectionistic OCD grandma). After you explain that to him tell him that it would make you feel more appreciated if he cleaned the house not only for himself but for you. If you love the person you're with, you'll want to make them happy and a cleaner space will make you happy. you've already shown him that an unclean house makes you angry. You're not his slave and you shouldn't have to resort to cleaning everytime you go over there. Even if you guys did live together, he still needs to pick up after himself because you are not his mother. You are suppose to be his equal. Just make sure that when you're there you eat your words and pick up after yourself, too.
@berrys (865)
• Singapore
26 Mar 09
I know what you mean, I'm a very messy person. I throw laundry on the floor, do not bother to pick up garbage if I miss while shooting it in to the bin, and never wash my plates. I was a very messy person until i met my boyfriend. He would motivate me to be cleaner and more organized. you can try this too. tell your boyfriend that If he can put all his laundry away or not throw all his clothes on the floor he will be rewarded with a kiss, or massage, etc. and go on to other parts of the house from there. good luck.
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
26 Mar 09
Hi friend,If we want to keep our house clean we need to work on it everyday.It is difficult to clean once in a week as it accumulates.There should be a place for everything and we should replace the things when we use something.It is not easy to correct a person suddenly as they get used to a habit.So only if your friend wishes the house can be kept clean.But only you wish for that so you need to change his mentality.Can you?If not, accept his qualities and you clean it whenever you can.thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.
@Ithink (10673)
• United States
26 Mar 09
I think the first thing is if someone doesn't like cleaning they should make sure that they don't have a lot of things. Less is best in this case. Dishes should be done at least at the end of the day. When something is used put it back right after using it. Organization is the key in all households. Unfortunately he will have to want to change as you cant change him. Being a little grumpy at times cause of the messes could help. LOL!
@jennajai (19)
• United States
25 Mar 09
they key to keeping a tidy house is to actual work at keeping it tidy!! :) its not fun work for everyone but its always a great feeling when you finish and the house is neat and put together...its just turning your bad habits into better ones...you and your boyfriend should work together to keep the house tidy....since he likes to cook, allow him to cook and you do the dishes for him, since he hates washing them...sit down and talk to him and see if you and him can compromise....he should be responsible enough to keep a tidy place..you dont live there so it shouldnt be your responsbility...i think if you stop doing so much for him, maybe he wont expect you to do it all the time.....you can always make the house cleaning a little fun as well and "reward" him with special things when he does take the initiative to do something... if you make trash, put it in the trash can right away..dont let it sit..if you make dishes, be sure to wash them by the end of the day...dirty clothes can be put straight in the laundry room or put in a basket until laundry day...you can make your place look more tidy if you just do the little things....
@reploid (1241)
• France
25 Mar 09
It requires hard work and a lot of time. better give up :-)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Good luck with that. It is not so easy cleaning and then keeping a house cleaned constantly, especially if someone lives there (lol). I clean everyday. Most of the time I clean and by the time everyone gets home I start to see little pieces of stuff on the floor, or the tables need to be wiped again or clothes from showers need to be picked up, etc. It is a never ending job! However if you get others to pick up after themselves it at least makes you feel they notice what you are doing and they care that you are doing it. If its his house then let him clean something, why should you have to do it all alone? When you dont even live there? And you work....nope, sorry!
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I wsill be one of the first persons to admit it is really hard to get a place tidy especially if you do not put stuff back into it place or do not have a special place to put the stuff. I went through my house about two weeks ago and I gave it a great cleaning. I sat my family down and I told them I expected them to do their part and clean up after themselves especially if they messed it up. My spouse wears a uniform and he changes them daily so the clothes can pile up. My spouse use to throw the clothes on the floor or threw them in a chair or over the closet door. I told him that I had placed a dirty clothes hamper in its place and I wanted the dirty clothes placed there. When my spouse goes out I will remind him not to throw his clothes over the closet door but take a few minutes to hang them on a hanger and place them back into the closet. When my spouse smoke the ashes sometimes find their way on the night stand and the empty packages are placed on the back of the bed. I kindly say your side of the room is looking kind of shabby. He then tidy it up. I would suggest you talk to him and let him know that you would like to keep the place cleaner than it is and also try using paper plates they make a world of difference. Much success
• India
25 Mar 09
Hi It is a common problem for people when two different mind sets reside under one roof. You have two problems according to your discussion. 1.You like to keep house tidy but it is not posssible for you as you are busy person 2. Your boy friend likes to keep house tidy but he could not besides he makes house untidy Right! There are two solutions, you can engage a maid to keep the house clean and tidy; but this is suggestible when you two people are busy. The second is you two need to work together twice in a week to keep house clean and tidy- this gives a good lesson to your boy friend. The second one is suggestble in case of you as you want to make your boyfriend to know the importance of neatness.
@phoenix79 (304)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Go through each room and get rid of anything that you have not used in the past 6 months, or you have no more use for. Donate those objects to the thrift store of your choice. The next step is to get the house organized. This step will take the longest. Make sure that everything has it's place. Organization is the biggest part of cleaning. The next big thing is daily maintenance. Cleaning just a little each day will keep yur house clean.
@momoftwo (94)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Hi there, I struggle with this as well. But I think we can all agree we're happier when our place and things are clean and organized. The biggest mistake a lot of us make is trying to do everything at one time. It doesn't sound like you live there so it's going to be hard for you to make changes. I also must say it was a little inappropriate for your male friend to say anything. It's not your responsibility to clean you bfs house. It's your bf's responsibility! With that said.. here are some things that may help: Have your BF over to your house on the weekends instead of going to his. He may realize he likes it better in clean enviroment. You can get a lot done in 15 minutes a day. If your bf likes to cook. start with the kitchen and get some cool but cheap organizing containers and one of those scrub brushes that holds dish soap. Having a clean kitchen may help motivate him to clean other areas of his house. Bottom line, he has to respect himself and his stuff enough to take care of it.