how correct is the livin relationship

a loving couple - two people in a livin relationship
India
March 27, 2009 8:41am CST
Hey lotters, i asked this questions from many people and the answers varied from person to person age wise,all the people of age above 40 answered its wrong and when i asked it from teens some of them said its correct,to be in livin relation rather than getting divorced after a few years of marriage,the logic they gave me was that it is a good way to know each other,i finally cant conclude is it correct or not?what do you say?
3 people like this
13 responses
@la_chique (1498)
27 Mar 09
I live with mine, but we plan to get married for the eventuality of having kids just to avoid the hyphonated surnames and questions as to who the actual parents are etc. If we dont have kids though we'll just stay living together. We dont need a piece of paper to prove that its forever.
2 people like this
@jassics (205)
• India
27 Mar 09
AGAIN I m not above 40 not now a teen i am 24 yrs old. See i have not come through any such instance nearby but what i can feel and what i can say is every problem has some solution, try to find out that and resolve it. Why getting divorced may be ego problem, status problem, freedom problem, betrayal, doubt, and blah blah. ask directly the reason for getting divorced give some time to it . if after few years of marriage you can't read mind of our opposite partner then no meaning of living relationship and even no meaning of divorce. i am also confused this time but i can say that after getting married getting divorced is the wors time for any couple. so one should avoid it at any cost thats it.
1 person likes this
@max1950 (2306)
• United States
27 Mar 09
im 59 and have been in live-in relation ship's for 36 year's. i got married once and didnt see the need to do it again. my ex wife and i are still best friend's s we just couldnt live together we have 2 great kid's in their 30's that are sucessful so no regrets. in these day's when more people get divorced than stay together that little piece of paper mean's nothing, but bravo to those that make it.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Mar 09
I think there is hardly any difference in that,as long as two people are in love,and they want each other too much,it's always right to be together,or they wll long for each other untill the day when it might risk to end without their dreams fullfilled. So, better is, be together first,and then decide sitting together what to do next.
1 person likes this
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
Live in whether it is correct or wrong still depends on each and every individual's perception about it. We all have different stand regarding the matter and different opinions and beliefs. But for me there is a need to have a live in first in every relationship before entering marriage. I just based it from my own experience because I was able to find out the real character of my husband at home. Being in a relationship characterized by long years of loving each other is not enough. I guess it is the attitude and the character of the person you will be spending your entire life with is what is more important. I believe that if in case you never go along together when you are on the same roof then you can just go your separate ways. Problem of course is you happen to have kids when you were living in. Then that is a different matter. I think when you live together it does not follow that you have to bear kids. But in case that happens make sure you talk about it and you and your partner should decide to get marry. But before that make sure you love each other and not just marry for the sake of the child. We all know that divorce and annulment are expensive so we need to be practical.
@Boofybutt (316)
• United States
27 Mar 09
I would say that with the divorce rate these days, it's probably better to do the live-in relationship thing. I can honestly say, had I known my husband's attitude would change after marriage, I wouldn't have married him. We did live together before we got married, and he was great, but after we signed the marriage certificate he became very hard to live with. Now he threatens to divorce me at least once a week. Marriage is a state of mind, if you feel married to the person, with or without the paper, then you are. It's all about love, no matter how you look at it. You wouldn't live with them if you didn't love them, and you definitely wouldn't marry them.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
28 Mar 09
I'm 75 and I think its Ok to do it either way.I doubt marriage is worth the extra trouble when a divorce looms on the horizon. 51% of all marriages end in divorce, so contrary to popular belief, Marriages are not Made in Heaven!
• India
28 Mar 09
really saying living relationship is not good at all because in it you cant trust your partner that whether he will be there l be there with you for life or not. you will say now that in marriage too you cant trust but there guarantee of all thing is there. like social problems. for eg. child etc. and secondly your partner cannot leave you easily as he has to fulfill many formalities and had to give answer to many which even decrease image so he is afraid of all that and in small problems he will not live you till he can adjust but in living relationship your partner can leave at any time even on smell problem which can sometime cause you a large problem.
@jshekhar (1562)
• India
28 Mar 09
I believe it is wrong. It does not matter what age I am but I would still see it as something wrong. It spoils the society and in a way it betrays the families as well. I think girls should not accept it because they are so insecure in such a situation. If the guy dumps them the next week they can do nothing about it. they have just been exploited and then dumped.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Living together is perfectly fine in my opinion. I have been living with my mate for 10 years, with no piece of paper telling me that we are married, and it's working just fine. We have to beautiful children, and are doing just great the way things are. It's not that we haven't planned to get married, we'd set things aside and started working our way there and something always happened before we could finalize everything, and that right there was our sign that we needed to keep things the way they are, so we have. Getting that piece of paper to say we are married isn't gonna change the way we feel.
• United States
28 Mar 09
I think it is a good thing to live together before getting married. I live with my boyfriend now and it is giving me the chance to see if we can live together before we make a commitment that is hard to get out of. We have discussed marriage and we will in time but I am so glad we are living together first.
@mrrome (73)
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
Actually the answer your looking for depend on your belief, moral, religious, and or practicality. But when you say livin, it's always a question about marriage. Marriage is not a just a piece of paper, paper is just a paper belongs to the government. Marriage issue is always about morality. If you only need to know the character of your partner to be in life, you must not hurry. Being impatient is the key to many broken relationship, broken marriages and broken family. You your self can say if it is the right time or its not. "Livin" is allowing your partner to used you and dump you whenever he feels like it. So where's the love? Or the question of "is it moral to use someone's body, after you don't feel like it and not suit your likings you just flew away". Well I can say that it is practical. It is practical for someone who embrace the idea. How about if you got a child due to this experimentation, practicing or trial relationship. Can you say to them that they don't have a family or father because they just part of an experiment relationship. I think they have the rights to have a family like a family that ever wanted of each and every children. So the virtue of patience can take you in a right direction in life. A life that's never easy to anyone. Thinking of relationship is not easy from the first moment you taught of it. there is always a drama. Choosing the right person, takes time. If you hurry you might choose the wrong person. Wise people are walking slowly, they are precise and looking each and every corner of the road, stop if needs to stop, they don't hurry, they don't run, cause if you run fast and fall, it's a real pain in the As*! So that's how correct livin relationship was.
@phoenix79 (302)
• United States
28 Mar 09
I have had it both ways and I say that it is better to be married if you are going to be living together. Just because you may get a divorce does not justify just living together. You can go to a relationship counselor if you have trust issues.