I am sick & tired of...

United States
March 28, 2009 7:27pm CST
I am really getting sick of people trying to control my life. Not so much people, more my mom than anyone. I am 18 years old, married for almost 2 years, and I have a daughter but yet she still feels the need to tell me what to do! I'm really getting fed up with it. You only have one life, so live it. You have to do what you have to do. I'm thinking about getting a job as a "dancer", which I didn't tell her that. I told her I was going to waitress, because last time I brought the idea up she nearly ate me alive! Then today she visits and is like "you better just be waitressing, because if I find out you're taking your clothes off for money, I will drag you out of there and beat your a** all the way home. And you you know I'll come and check to!" WTF!!! Excuse me? First off, I am legal! I am married and have a child! It's my body to do what I want with! I mean seriously, she could careless if anyone else did it, but with me its a different story. THIS IS MY LIFE!!! What does everyone think? I mean, am I right? How should I handle this situation without it turning into a fight, which it will anyways. Thanks & happy mylotting
1 person likes this
9 responses
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Sick and tired, BTW, if you were my child and if you asked my advice, I would say don't do it b/c you might regret it in the end. I have seen too many stories on tv where young girls get themselves in big trouble out there dancing and men look at them as though they are the scum of the earth..Even in real life I've known of a few girls to do it and to make a long story short, nothing good seems to come of it. But if you feel like you have to go and do it, I would advise you to try to find a real upscale sort of place, not some sleazy hole in the wall sort of place. Who knows, you might even get discovered like Jennifer Lopez. Also if you are serious about wanting to become a dancer, you should try to take a few dance classes in your spare time...Peace out.
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
16 Apr 09
You are sick and tired of.... Hello Super_Mommy, I just have to say that I agree with you that it's your life and you have a right to decide what you want to do with it now that you are grown. You simply need to pull your mother aside and tell her, Look Mom, with all due respect I would like to commend you for having done a fine job of raising me but now it's up to me to get out in the world and to live life as I see fit. You have given me the tools which is a good foundation for life and now it's up to me to put them to good use. (Supermom, ur mother is only showing her concern and I can fully appreciate where she is coming from.) But on that same note, you are right, you are grown and you have to do what you gotta do. Believe me, you will know sooner or later if that job is right for you or if it's not. Personally speaking, I know that ur only thinking about the money to be made. You are probably not thinking about the fact that men will be out there looking at you as though ur nothing more than a piece of meat.It might seem like fun in the beginning but in the end I doubt that you will like it. They will not give you the respect that you are hoping for. But if you are satisfied with just getting the few dollars that are to be made and you are willing to put your body out there like that then it's really nobody's business but your own...Hope this helps you to decide what is best for you. There are jobs out there where you won't have to take ur clothes off but they will take time to get b/c most of the good ones do require you to have a college education, unfortunately. So I'm just being real with you...... If you are really so desperately in a money crunch, then you have to do what you feel you must do....... Nobody knows your situation any better than you do.....Personally speaking I could use some money myself right now but I'm not going to go that route b/c I think too much of myself and I have a lot of people that look up to me and they believe that I can do something very positive with my life and so do I. I hope that you will find the inner drive and determination to make some better choices for yourself but if not, I would not judge you b/c it's like I said b4, you have to do what you have to for yourself and your family.Best wishes, Peace out........
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
parents tends to be as they are. parents will not like to have their child into trouble. bear in mind these quote "mothers knows best". meaning what ur into is not a good example to your own kid. that suggests that u r still young enough not to find a good and decent job. dont lose hope in getting another one. try to challenge ur mother so that she can be proud of u... later u will realize what ur mother have told u... hope u get my point
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
Hi Super_mommy. Honestly, I understand your predicament at the same time I understand your mom. You've mentioned that you're already married & have a daughter. don't you think that it will best you consider them before deciding to be dancer/stripteaser. Just a question for you to ponder, what if your daughter ask you what is your work? I really don't need to get your answer just have a little thought about this. If you really love to dance & you're really decided to make a living out of it then I guess you always dance professionally -- you can join audition for TV or join other establishment looking for dancer who can dance decently. Remember, you can always dance without taking off your clothes. This is just an opinion from a concern person. Hope this helps. happy mylotting too.
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
since that you are now a mommy you should think of what you want to go that will not harm anyone most especially your daughter. if you do go for a dancer think first because you already had a daughter.. what if you see your daughter when she grow that she is also dancing in the front of many boys in a bar... what will you feel?? maybe i suggest you should find another job that suits you and not a job that can loose your moral and dignity.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
29 Mar 09
Honestly, It's always gonna be a never ending battle for you. Your mother is always gonna feel your her baby and she doesn't want to see or hear about you doing those things. Everyone is to their own though, and if this is something you want to do, she is gonna have to back down and accept it. She doesn't have to like it, but to keep the peace among each other, she's gonna have to just let it go. Easier said than done, I know. I can feel your frustration though, I am the youngest of 6, try having your parents and your siblings telling you what to do, when to do it and how to do everything. I live 1100 miles from them, thankfully that keeps things low key but when I go home, man do they have a long list of crap to lay on me about what i've done, i just tell them where to go and how to get there in a few choice words and move on. I live my life the way I want too, and Have done very well at taking care of myself, my husband and two children with out them for the last 10 years, so I know that I can keep on doing it. I know that talking with your mother about what you do isn't gonna be an option but maybe explaining that this is your life and though you want her in it, you have to make your own choices and if you faulter at them, at least you will know, instead of her always trying to protect you. I am a mother myself and know that we parents try to do what is best for our kids no matter what age, and sometimes we, as parents have a hard time seeing past the fact they are grown adults. I know when mine get older, I will have that same issue.
• Singapore
29 Mar 09
oh relax ...... one thing no offense just a advise. even you are married every mum treat her son or daughter like kids even you are 30 or 40 .like my hubby 36 but his mum still treat him like 5 year old. this is all about mother love. you are mother when your daughter getting older you might think the same way. to be frank even you married and got children but you still young . one thing is not good to say this is your body you want to do what even you like. no , because your mum bring you up ,your body is still belong to your mum and dad. married belong to mum and dad and your husband/wife. i hope you won't get angry when i say this. cause be a mum not easy ,you imaging after 10year your daughter don't listen to you ,don't care about you ,what will you feel? sad right? this is just a advise .dancer i don't feel is a bad job to me.is good! as long you love your self nothing to do about your job.
• United States
29 Mar 09
Your mother sounds like a kitten. My mother would have done all that your mother threatened plus burn the place down. I know it's hard to be independent but you will be surprised at how fast time goes by and as someone else wrote, your parents will be gone. I think that your mother is worried. I know I would be. Isn't there something else you could do that would be a little less drastic. I wish you well in all of this.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
29 Mar 09
I think you will find mothers will always be be mothers and their kids will always be kids no matter how old they are and you will probably find you will be the same with your children...I guess it is just hard for parents to just switch off from the protecting in their way sort of thing...from one whose parents are now gone maybe i could just say appreciate them while you have them as you won't have them forever and try and put up with as much as you can....