We are having a baby!!

@4ofmyown (1119)
United States
March 29, 2009 4:21pm CST
Recently we found out that I am pregnant. We are very happy and excited. This does make a total of 7 children..I have 4 from a previous marriage and my husband has 2 from a previous marriage. This will be our first together and probably the last. I have written previously about how hard things have been lately but things are getting a little easier and will hopefully stay that way. A few people have told us that we are crazy for having another child, that they can't even comprehend how we manage the ones we have. All 6 of our children are great kids. When we are out for dinner or shopping we always get compliments on how well behaved they are, etc... I guess, hearing people say unkind things to us bothers me more now than before. Who knows maybe it is hormonal but I can't help getting upset or ticked off. Yes, 7 kids is not the norm but would ever say such a thing to someone? How would you feel if someone said something like that to you about your family?
4 people like this
31 responses
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Congratulations for the baby! I feel sorry that you are receiving unkind things from others. Try not to mind about those things and just concentrate on the things that are most important to you. Remember that it is your life and not theirs so they do not have the right to criticize you. I am the eldest in our family and I still have six siblings, one sister and five brothers. I was also being questioned why my parents wanted a lot of kids despite the hard times and despite the fact that they do not have permanent jobs. I just told those people that my principle is different from my parents and that I never really wanted us to be a big family. Anyway I still understand those who want to have a big family as long as they are able to raise their kids in a good way. Children needs parents attention and proper care in order for them to grow as good citizens and with confidence with themselves. But I do not think that enough attention will be given if there are a lot of kids and it will be a hard thing to do. Yes it is possible to still raise them all in a good way but what about their needs? It is okay maybe if you have an above average income to sustain their needs but what if not like my parents? In your case I know you love your kids well and you have raised them well and so I admire you with that. I hope my parents were like you. Now I am married and I have a baby. My husband and I have the same principle. We do not like lots of kids. We are okay with what we have now and if in case we want to have another kid, then we might just end up with a maximum of three.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I agree with also. I know plenty of people who just don't want to have a lot of kids. With my first marriage I never though that I wold have more than my 4. But when I married my second husband he had 2 of his own, so there was automatically six kids! The first six are very close in age and I am glad we waited for this one. We have both decided already that this will be it...both because of finances and our ages. I wish everyone was as open minded as you. Thanks for your comment.
• China
30 Mar 09
you are very great ,you have a happy life ,i am very glad to read the view that you view,that is right everyone have own lifestyle
@jane9147 (252)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Wow! i also am so excited for you!! i just love babies. hehe they are so cute and they are God's gift to us. yeah, it's kinda annoying when people make remarks that we don't want to hear. don't worry about them. it's another blessing for you so just cherish the baby like how you always do. Congratulations again! God bless! :)
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Thank you for the very nice words. We feel that this baby is a gift as well.
@jane9147 (252)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
welcome. i hope you'll show us pictures of the baby. i'm looking forward to seeing your baby.:)) thank you for being such a wonderful mom! you'll make your baby proud. hehe. Blessed day to you!
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 09
You already have four children and that is the same number that my sister has. Your husband has two children so that is normal too. Together they make six and are really well behaved kids. I think it is lovely that you are pregnant and your superb family will be just a little bit bigger. I know that your family sounds fine. I suggest that you ignore any unfair comments about your family and sometimes such people like that are just jealous of you. My oldest son is almost 14 years old and my youngest son is almost 2 years old. So people make comments about the large age gap all the time. If there is a parents evening at the secondary school I am the only one pushing the buggy around. I am expecting another baby and so there will be less of a gap this time. My second son has spina bifida and so people all asked if my baby yet to be born has it too. I have had ultrasound scans at the fetal medicine unit and my baby girl seems perfectly healthy. My baby is due in late June. Good luck with your pregnancy.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I just can't believe that people make comments about other people's lives. Sometimes I am so surprised at what I hear I couldn't comment back even if I wanted to. Congratulations on new addition as well...I am glad to hear that all is healthy. It sounds like your a good Mom already, this baby is lucky. Thanks for responding.
@katsmeow1213 (28719)
• United States
29 Mar 09
Let me first apologize if this sounds at all rude... I'm trying to quit smoking and I'm rather irritable right now because of that, and the baby is crying, so I'm just cranky at the moment. Ok, so, what I want to say is I think this is a very bad idea. I have seen your discussions about how difficult you're having it right now, and ok, so it's gotten a little better for the moment.... this country is not out of the woods yet, which means neither are you. You say hopefully things will stay this way.... you're placing a childs life on "hopefully"!! What will you do if things don't stay how they are? What will you do if you lose all your income? How will you all survive? I forget if you're currently working or not, and how old your other children are... but if things are this tough now how much worse will they be when you're trying to pay for a babysitter for this baby so you can work, or quit your job because you can't afford a babysitter. Or if you've been a stay at home mom, then you could have gone to work at least part time to make things easier on your family, but that's out of the question now. If you're having trouble affording things right now, don't you think that will get worse when you have to pay for diapers and formula and all that other stuff that goes along with having a baby? Are you planning on asking for government assistance? Please tell me you're not! I'm going to assume you're not because I only have extremely rude things to say about people who knowingly get pregnant knowing full well they'll need tax payer money to survive. I'm sorry, I'll stop now. I like you, and really don't mean to offend you, but I just do not think it's smart to knowingly and willingly bring a child into a difficult situation, especially when you do already have children you need to support. It just seems a bit selfish to me. That's my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends you.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
29 Mar 09
No offense taken....I appreciate your opinion. Things have gotten better here. We are working with our mortgage company...straightening out that, which was the biggest mess. My husband has a solid job...no signs of layoff in his company, at his level, especially here in Florida. The other kids that live at home are 10, 9, 9, and 8. No, we don't use gov't assistance and I don't plan on it anytime soon. I was on WIC with my others when they were all babies for about 2 years. We plan on using cloth diapers and I am going to nurse this baby like I did my last. I agree with you that things aren't getting any easier right now...anywhere. We really feel like we are going to be okay. We have a ton of family and support, so God forbid anything should happen to us financially. I do understand all the points you made and I would be lying to say I didn't think of them either but I think those are always in the back your mind regardless of the situation.
• United States
30 Mar 09
Well I'm glad you're not thinking of asking for government assistance. I just truly cannot stand people who think it's okay for the government to support them! I just keep thinking of Octo Mom... you know? Already blessed with 6 kids at home, then goes out and has more, not stopping to think about how she'll afford to support them, and how her other chidren will suffer because of the new ones she's bringing home. But I said my peace, so I'll stay off it now. I hope it all works out for you. But you know... I wouldn't rely too heavily on family and friends support. I did that once... when I planned to get pregnant for my twins, obviously not thinking it would be twins... but anyways. I kept saying how much help we'd have from our family and friends. We had this huge support group, with all of his family and mine. You'd think we'd never have to worry about getting someone to help us. Pfft!! I was wrong. There were only 2 times I actually got any help. Once was when I twisted my ankle. The other time was while I was in the hospital being treated for all the stress I was under!
@clairemn (42)
30 Mar 09
Congratulations on your pregnancy! It is nobody else's business and as long as you and your husband are happy that's all that counts. I sometimes wish I had a bigger family. I think it's rude to say to someone they're crazy for having another child, but try not to get too upset or angry about it as it won't acheive anything.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Thank you very much. Yes, we are very happy and so are all the kids. Everyday one of them asks me how much longer? I have to agree with you when people make comments. Sometimes I cannot believe what I am hearing...I would never have the nerve to say things like that to people, especially about expecting a child. Thank you again.
30 Mar 09
Wow, that's great! Congratulations 4ofmyown! I am extremely happy for you. I'm very glad that things are getting easier, I know that life can be very hard, so it's good it's improving for you. You are definately not crazy having another child, this is great for you, you shouldn't care what people think of you if it makes you and your husband happy. That is pretty bad someone saying that about your children, I'm sure they are very well-behaved, you should be proud that you have brought well-mannered children into the world. I know a family that have 8 children, all well-behaved so 7 children isnt exactly too many. I would never say that to anyone as I am a person who thinks before I speak, I also think about If someone said that to me, would that hurt my feelings. If it would, i wouldn't say. I would definately feel upset if someone said that to me, it wouldn't be any of their business so they can keep their nose out.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Thank you very much for saying such nice things. Having a big family is awesome...very busy, but awesome. I wouldn't change a thing. We are both very happy about this baby, especially since it is going to be the last for both of us. Thank you for responding.
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Hi 4 and congratulations! I wish you the best for all your children and a happy and healthy 7th! I know it's difficult and you're right - you're probably hormonal but you have every right to get upset with these people who believe that they can say whatever and don't think about anyone else's feelings. No I would never say something like that to someone - every child is a blessing! Keep doing what you're doing and forget the naysayers!
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Thank you for your support. That is exactly what we are hoping for, a healthy addition to our family. I will do my best to ignore the others. Thanks, again.
@angel2009 (210)
• India
30 Mar 09
Congratulations!!!! Don't bother what others are saying...just live your life in your own terms... Be happy with this seven beautiful gifts which god has given to you...think that you are lucky you are blessed...so be happy and enjoy!!
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
1 Apr 09
We are very happy with all 7 of our children and try to do our best to only hear the positive things that people say. Thank you for saying such nice things.
@liaamur (417)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
my normal response: SEVEN kids?! wowwwww inner me: when is my turn??????? i like kids, and kudos to you and your hubby for having brought them up very well. i live for the day when i finally could talk to my daughter...tell her off...listen to her complain about her dad...lol *sigh* when is my turn, indeed.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Thank you....yeah raising the 6 has had its challenging times but we wouldn't change it for the world.
• United States
30 Mar 09
congratulations on your pregnancy.It sounds like you will have your hands filed.Do not listen to all the negatives that people are saying as long as this is what you want and you can afford it then go for it,children are a gift from god.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I am starting to feel much better...I have only heard really one negative post so far. Thank you for support and we agree, this is a gift from God.
@ying470 (60)
• China
30 Mar 09
Really pleased for you,it is to celebrate,you would like the healthy gowth of chinden
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Thank you so much.
@parvezs (105)
• India
30 Mar 09
First of all hearty Congratulations. I can feel your happiness as even I am expecting a baby now. My wife is 8 months pregnant and this is our first child so we are more than happy and very much excited. We are desperately waiting for this waiting to get over and see our baby in our arms. We both love kids and so we are very very happy and excited.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Thank you and Congratulations to you as well! I have to agree that waiting is very difficult, especially towards the end of the pregnancy. It always seems like the last month or so always seem to take so long. Go luck to you.
@wzgis17 (41)
• China
30 Mar 09
Congratulation! Having a baby is happy thing for all the mothers, the baby can bring so much happiness. It doesn't matter of other's opinions only if you can afford it, and be pleased.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Thank you so much...we are both very happy. We never thought we would have a baby together so my husband and I are both very excited.
• India
30 Mar 09
I think in todays world you should not have more than 2 children
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Well for us that is a little too late. Thanks for your response.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
30 Mar 09
I wouldn't like it and I do not thing comments like that are useful, it only serves to hurt the pregnant woman's feelings, it is your business whether you have one child or 20, no one else's you are not asking those people to put food into their babies mouths, so they have nothing to say about. of course everyone has there own opinion but they don't have to open their mouth and let it come out any time they feel like it.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
That is one thing I don't understand either...you would think people would think about what they are saying and how it would make someone feel before they say it. I just don't see the point of being rude when you know it will hurt someone's feelings. Thank you for your response.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
30 Mar 09
it is good if you are well off. I want to say if you can afford. Hope there is no problem bringing up 7 children.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Taking care of the 6 has been no problem so I hope having another will be just as easy. Thank you
• China
30 Mar 09
Congratulations.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Thank you very much.
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I think we can't blame other people of saying something bad against you because as we all knew, the world is currently facing the global financial crisis and each of us here knows that we are definitely affected by that. And raising too much children nowadays will surely affects our budget and family ties. But atleast you are trying to raise and give your husband a child who in the near future will also help you in whatever problems you may have....
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I can kind of understand why some people say the things they do but not everyone is affected by the global financial problems as bad as others. But, I do understand. Thank you for responding.
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Would ignore it, as long as my hubby is there by myside to support me. Nothing to worry about...having kids is the essence of a married life... its a blessing too. lol
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
30 Mar 09
You are right. We are a family and we will get through anything, together, as a family. Thanks for your response.
@sandal13 (142)
• India
30 Mar 09
Hey ! welcoming a 'life' out of yourself is the most amazing feeling ,I congratulate you guys. and to hell with people who have nothing to do than passing comments. God has been kind on your family and i hope your family sets an example for others too for accepting kids from the spouse's previous marriage and living all together like a one big happy family. GOD BLESS YOU .
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Thank you so much for your kind words. There have been times when it has not been easy but we are a family and it all worked out fine. Thank you again.