Yes, I'm about ready to strangle him
March 29, 2009 10:48pm CST
My husband that is... I know we've all been there, where our spouse has just really gotten on our last nerves and it's about time to just let them have it! Well, that's me here lately... I think my friends here know that right now is a very hectic time for me. I'm a CPA and I'm working 10 hour days, almost 7 days a week. I try not to work 10 hour days on the weekends, but I'm still putting in about 5-8 hours each weekend day. So, my husband and I were kinda talking month or so ago and the mention of a garden came up again. Well, I LOVE having a vegetable garden, fresh veggies all summer long is awesome! BUT, in order to have a garden, you need to be getting the soil ready, planting and all that stuff NOW, when I don't have time for it. I told him (many times) I'd love to have a garden, but I just don't have the time for it. So, this friend of his gives him a tiller - they don't have a need for it any longer. And he tills a patch of the yard for me to do my garden - I guess by the moonlight... I tell him "Honey, I don't know why you did that, I don't have time to do this." So he says HE'LL put the garden in for me. --- Oh, I know some of you are groaning with me here... SO, Friday night we go out and get the seeds because this weekend is really about the latest we can get things started. I knew what I wanted - tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, lettuce and squash. Keep it simple, make it easy. He says he wants corn, and how about brussel sprouts, and hey, they have seeds for broccoli. We ended up getting onions too. I knew his patch was not going to be big enough for all this, and since I know he's not going to read the instructions for the spacing on any of these, I make a "map" of the garden for him. I actually cut out sections in green paper for each area of the garden, scaled 1" = 1'. Come to find out he needed to double his patch for this. He says to me "Oh, I didn't realize this was so much work, I thought you just put the seeds in the ground." Well, NO!!! Some things need more room than others. As I'm getting ready to leave for work, he says it will take him all day to enlarge the area and we'll just plant it all when I get home. So, I don't bother to tell him the spacing he needs to do for the planting. I leave work early, while it's still light out, and call to tell him I'm on the way. What's he doing??? Oh, he's planting the seeds! I about blew a gasket! By the time I get home, I am so mad that I really just want nothing to do with this. I ask him how far apart he planted stuff and he says "Oh about this far" holding his hands about 6 inches apart. Well, the brussel sprouts need a few feet each, and the lettuce needs inches. I had it all mapped out for what we normally consume and he's just gone and willy-nilly planted it all. I just said, "Hey, I told you a million times I don't have time for this and I've spent time on it and you've totally destroyed it." I have no clue what's been planted, when I looked at it he had it backwards and the direct-sun plants are now in the shade and the indirect plants are right in the sun. It's almost a total waste. I know I should be greatful that he was trying to help, but I told him quite a few times that I didn't have time for a garden and when I took the time to get it going, I just really wasted all that time. I'm sitll fuming over it and he's still mad at me for being mad at him. Sorry for the length, but I really needed to release...
• United States
30 Mar 09
Yikes! You are stressed to the max. It is great that he wants to help out, but no need to let it break into physical violence. Step back, take a deep breath or two. Let him do the garden, if it is wrong, then he will learn from it, no? You don't have the time to care for a garden, perhaps his schedule is not as horrid as yours. It may not be a perfect garden, but so what? At least he is trying to help you out. Let him take over garden chores since he has already done the work. Perhaps it will be wrong, perhaps not. Nothing to freak out over.