Do you feel safe bringing a child into this world?

United States
March 29, 2009 11:41pm CST
In so many ways, my mother sacrificed her life to give me all that I have today. For some reason though, I've never been that inspired to have children of my own. I'm pretty sure that attitude will change, although I am not certain. It seems like the future is somewhat bleak in regards to work, the economy, and international security. I'm sure many generations have felt the same way, and never saw an apoclypse in their lifetime. I've always felt that if I didn't have a stable enough home, then it wouldn't be fair for me to bring a children into this world. How do you feel about this topic?
4 people like this
19 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32271)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I've actually wrote a discussion with a lot of responses that are one in the same but with a good message. Basically the message is : You'll never be financially ready. I think that by reading the responses on the discussion I've calmed myself down about having to save so much money to have a child. Sure the economy is uncertain but your already making a step by coming here to earn. Do the best you can on earning here, don't stress, and just let things happen. I hope this helped.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
31 Mar 09
This has been a subject of much discussion in my area...my Mom likes to say, "If you wait for the right time to create a family, it'll never happen"...and while I never saw myself physically HAVING childrens, I like to add "I still just think it's highly irresponsible during the middle of a crises. Better to focus your mind on your own survival and wait for things to solidify at least (not get better, or even return to the way it used to be, but for the ground beneathe one's own feet to be solid. Maybe still shaking, but solid, if that's the new normal)." The only constant is change. Things will always suck in one way or the other, just 'cause the economy will be okay again someday, there'll be some other issue. It's the way of the world. But I think a person has to have some level of responsibility about creating new life. I'd choose adopting, over making a new baby, purely because there are too many already here who need us. In time, I expect, that too will change, but for now...that's my opinion.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
31 Mar 09
The way the world is today, it is really hard to bring a child into the world and know that you can provide for that child. Even for those who are wealthy, the time is not ideal. That said, there are always going to be problems in the world, things that make the time not ideal for having kids. If a couple has stable jobs and income, and a pretty good savings to fall back on, they could probably bring a child into the world and not worry too much. If the couple's finaces are uncertain and they have nothing to fall back on, they wopuld be better off than to wait rather than chance not being able to provide for a child. The world, in general will always have its problems and issues that make things unsafe to an extent; nothing will ever be perfect.
@rensal77 (116)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
Hubby and I have been married for two years nows. And most of our relatives have been asking us why we don't have a baby yet. We initially wanted to spend time with each other first. Then after two years, we'll start adding to our family. But since we are on our third year now, we still don't see ourselves having a baby soon. We still want to better our financial status first. Maybe next year a baby will come. Or who knows, if God wills it, I will conceive. Since I am not on any birth control pills anyway.
@oyenkai (4398)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
I think that's a very good question to raise. You know what, just last night, I told my boyfriend - I bet it's scary to have a kid and to actually raise one. I think that it's such a huge responsibility and that I'm not ready for it yet. I'm hoping that someday I will be but I don't think that someday is coming very soon. I've seen parents do a bad job at raising kids and I've always resented such people, it makes me wonder if I'm up to the job. I think it's a bit too much. Thanks for the response on my discussion!
• United States
31 Mar 09
There have always been dangers in this world, just different. And they were kept more private, in some cases. Like home abuse? Was considered nobody else's business. Think back to western expansion. While there may not have been as many of the crimes we see today, there was dangers in the wilderness and even vigilante justice. Humans have never been free from dangers that could cost us our lives, which is why we are able to think and to reason. Don't be afraid to bring a child into this world someday. Make sure you're ready, but teach them to be prepared for anything. Don't make them paranoid, but let them know there are real dangers out there. It's the less-than-vigilant sheltered kids that tend to be in the most danger (not saying always, that's just from what I've observed). There have even been more problems before, like diseases most people don't even know about now because we have either cured them, or found a way to get rid of them (but perhaps not permanently. Measles, leprosy, the 3 forms of the Black Plague that killed 1/3 of Europe at one point, etc. Humans will always have to deal with problems, they just change over time. I'm not sure one era is ever worse than another. The world will never be stable. But make your home as stable as possible, after all, everything starts at the home. Make them aware, and let them be kids at the same time.
• United States
30 Mar 09
I was like you for a long time. I never wanted children of my own for a number of reasons. First, I thought there was no way I could raise my child correctly (whatever that means). Second, I was concerned about the rapidly growing population and subsequent depletion of natural resources. Third, I just don't like kids. My mind was made up for a long time: no kids. But then my friend told me a story about a pregnant woman at his work. She was sitting there by herself as the rest of his coworkers chatted about nothing in particular, and he started watching her. She was staring at her belly, completely gone from the room, and when he looked down, he saw it move. I don't know about you, but I think it would be a very cool experience to carry a child in you. To feel it move, and to know that you would love it no matter what... It is definitely up to each individual woman personally though. Because of my fear of population growth, I plan on only 2 children. One to replace me in this world and one to replace my man. :D If the living conditions aren't stable, or if the woman is being forced into the pregnancy, there's no reason to have a child. Everyone needs lots of love and support growing up, or there is no quality of life to speak of.
• United States
30 Mar 09
I am currently seven months pregnant and the mom of a 2 1/2 year old. Over all, I understand that there is a lot of bleakness in the world. I know that my mom sacrificed a lot for me as a single mom, but my husband and I have a great relationship and I know that we are at least in this together. Most laugh at that idea since divorce is so common and easy these days (at least here in America), but neither of us "believe" in divorce. Economically we can't be certain that all is well. After all, there are a lot of people who had good jobs yesterday and today they are wondering where to turn to now. But, I think all in all, we have a fairly good handle on things and have a stable enough home for our children. On the other hand. My mother-in-law thinks that God is in control of the number of kids that one has and that we should have as many as physically possible. This has lead her nine kids to live off of hand me downs and the 80k a year their dad makes isn't really enough for them to live comfortably on. We are not wanting any more then two because we don't think we could be good parents to more then that and we don't think we could financially support more then that.
@abcnadz (461)
• India
30 Mar 09
everyone has thought about this at some point of time. everyone feels so insecure because the world is so not safe. i can give you the best of examples from the poem "prayer before birth" by mcniece. i consider it as the best of poems till date. the poet has cleverly used an embryo as the narrator. the child prays for its safety when it comes to it's world. it requests god to keep it away from people who may give it pain without it's doing anything , all the sins it is prone to. it requests god to provide it with grass and water to play , birds and sky to sing . the embryo wants god to keep him away from people who consider themselves par with god, from people who will humiliate it , who will rule over him. atlast, the embyo tells god that if god cannot do all this "kill me " . it is a really touchy poem. especially cause its narrated by an embryo who doesn't have any dust of evil in his mind. i recommend you to read it. have a nice day
@angel2009 (210)
• India
30 Mar 09
I am not married yet, still if I think that 5 years down the line will I want to have my babies, I don't get a positive answer... I feel this world is no longer a safe place...I cannot think of bringing a child in this world where their is so much of negetivities...thousands of diseases, some incurable like cancer,AIDS, bacteria, virus, economic crisis, rat-race in everything, jealousy, hipocricy, pollution...I may sound as a pessimist but its true!! moreover the way global warming is taking place,our next generation is going to have tougher time..We are living on the edge!! I always pray to the almighty.."heal us".. We need a saviour..I believe there are already many children in this planet who don't have parents to look after them, who don't have a life as we have...So I feel instead of increasing the population, we should look after those children...But still,I have never planned anything in my life, everything that has happened are spontaneous...So I will never have a baby just for the sake of having...If it happens spontaneously I will accept as a gift of god, but certainly not before the time when I will feel that the world is bit more secure and find a reason for bringing someone more in this world.
• United States
30 Mar 09
A lot of people feel the same way about the world not being a place to bring kids into. I can understand why. The world is not a safe place for kids. My 1st was not planned but after I had my child I just felt so alive and so much lave and joy all at the same time. I chose to have another. They mean the world to me and I would no change that for anything. I guess it all depends on the person and what is going on in their life. I don't think their is a right or wrong answer to this question.
@sisterjinx (1136)
• United States
30 Mar 09
You know I myself had 3 children. Even back when we were having babies we questioned it but felt comfortable enough at the time to still bring 3 into the world. However times have rapidly changed since my last child was born almost 16 years ago. If I were to consider this today, I don't think I could bring a child into the world as it is today. I really hate to even write this answer, so you know it's an honest opinion, because I love motherhood and I would hate to say that anyone should not experience it because I think if it's what you want you should.
@kevdiesel (129)
• Kenya
30 Mar 09
i agree wit u, work economy international security all this a factors that sometimes affect the havin of children..attitudes change also..u can never say.
• China
30 Mar 09
I think you have too much things to consider carefully,First of all.if each of people thought so,after many years,Iam afraid that people will become a value of animals,followed by,To pay the mother of their children,even if it is hard luck,They will think that it is a kind of happiness,Child is a continuation of their livers.In addition,you should believe that the world is better,there are the bread and the milk.concluded that,in fact,is my child.but i think the are,hope that we can become friends.
@aweins (4203)
• India
30 Mar 09
hi consciousliving112, my dear friend, i was too afraid of bringing a child into our world. i was like --- how'll she deal with such crooked people around, how'll she feel if i will not be able to do what she wants, how will match her energy. how will i match her . the upbringing is sooo costly. everything is sky high. there can come a situation when you feel that you are now two ends and it is difficult to meeet , then what will happen., there were thousands of questions in my mind befoer i finally gave birth to a sweet little baby. she is now one and is very naughty. i fully agree to what you have written that the future is so bleak in regards to woirk and economy and international security. i feel very afraid that what will happen if i will not be able to meet her needs. what will she think. there are sertain questions still in my mind and i think as she grows up, i will find the answers because there were so many more which found there answers on its own when she came. so i suppose some left ones will also find.
@parvezs (106)
• India
30 Mar 09
No I dont feel safe to bring a child into this world due to many reasons. Economy is the most important thing and there are many more bad things going around in this world so it scares to think of having a baby and diving it a fully secured life. Firstly I will make myself financially enough fit to give my child the best of everything then plan of having a kid.
@luvmysons (497)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I have 2 young children.. 3 years old and 10 months old.. And we always talk about having a 3rd however I dont think its smart with the way the economy is.. Life is just so unstable. Its a scary world out there.. We are living comfortable right now and my kids have everything that they want or need. But I am scared what will happen in the future if things dont get better out there.
@liviurus (155)
• Romania
30 Mar 09
well around 4 years ago I did not want to raise earth population but after 1 year I got a wife... and she said: kid now, we are old, we will must help him and we will be older so get to work, lazy husband of mine... and then (after 9 months) I met the most beautiful and wonderful creature ... and I said damn with the increased number of earth's population, whadda heck: I have the right to make 1-2 kids (those stupid people that get 10-15 kids, especially in Africa or whatever poor country are supposed to be told to hold their horses, not me!) and I also have the right to conceive him and through him in this world, so not only will be trashed by it, also him/her and me helping or just watching... I am cruel, no?
@maezee (31491)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I agree with you, it ISN'T really fair for you to bring a child into this world in less-than-ideal circumstances. And with overpopulation occuring already, why add to the problem? It's definitely a scary world. Even before terroristic threats and the economy being on the decline - we still have criminals, pedophiles, natural disasters - and all kinds of dangers that could prevent us from having happy families & giving our children the happy childhoods that they deserve. I know some people will most likely disagree with this thinking, but unless you're in an extremely safe and financially-stable situation, I wouldn't suggest having children, for the children's sake.