Second Chance on Love?

United States
March 30, 2009 4:10am CST
Is this possible? Can you love someone, have it not work out, but then years later have everything fall into place and the two of you be completely happy after going through it all? I really need to hear some feedback on this. I never stopped being in love with everything about this guy. I love the way he looks, the way his brain works, the way he talks, his bad singing, and even his mood swings. He isn't perfect, and doesn't act as though he is...and I love that about him. We met at a store, hit it off immediately, dated for a little over two years, and then broke up harshly. We remained friends and was always there for each other whenever we could be. I got married and he changed the direction of his life. Suddenly, feelings resurfaced. He pushed me away and told me to work the marriage out. I started comparing him and my husband...and my husband didn't come close. My husband cheated, we went through therapy, my husband got worse, and now I'm leaving. I want to be with my ex, but I don't want to jump back into something worse than the last relationship. Either way, I'm going to do what I want in the end, but I want to hear what you guys have experienced. I miss this place. Was up late at night and thought I would just go on and see what was going on. ttyl
2 people like this
10 responses
@KcLKcL (181)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 09
Did you feel happy when you are dating him? Did you feel happy if you are on his side? If yes, you can compare to your condition now and compare it with your husband. Well, If you leave your husband already, marry "him". And don't regret it But If you hadn't leave your husband yet, think about it, remember everything, so you won't regret what you'll do.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 09
Nicely put. Short, sweet, and to the point. Thank you for the words of advice. I'm sure I will remember them and use them to make a bad situation better. ttyl
1 person likes this
@sunita64 (6473)
• India
30 Mar 09
Well anything is possible in love, but you have to be careful and watch out for the reason why you went your own ways earlier, it is possible same things might surface again. Well all the best and be happy with the next time.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 09
I will. We talk a lot about it. And we plan on taking it slowly once I get away from my unhappy marriage. You are truly kind for such an honest response. Thank you for not being biased and knowing that two people make a relationship work. ttyl
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
It is definitely possible. There are so many stories about high school sweethearts getting back together at a high school reunion. And I've seen it happen myself. Do what you think will make you happy and know that it IS possible.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
Thank you so much for your response! He and I have our days, but I know in my heart that I still love him dearly. With all that is happening in the world together, I think love is the only thing that will keep us sane. I'm working my best to get myself in order so that I can move back to my hometown and begin my life again...hopefully with him in it. I'm glad I was able to hear from someone who actually experienced a second chance on love. Good Luck to you. ttyl
@coldmoon (1092)
• France
30 Mar 09
If you still have some feeling with your ex, ask yourself if it's worth to give up your happiness because of your fear, and if this may the final chance or there're many others waiting for you. Of course, you must check that this second chance is a fortune or a bad luck, after many years everything can change.
1 person likes this
@r0nwaren (39)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
Just give yourself a break for a while. Try living a life away from anyone especially from partners. Focus on other things and try dating others too. If the feeling for your ex resurfaces after sometime then maybe its time for you to settle with him. The point is if we are looking only in one direction, we are not seeing what is meant to be seen.
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
31 Mar 09
" LOVE is lovelier than second time arround"
• India
31 Mar 09
First love the person who sincierly loves you... He give his life to you or he sacrifies his life to you ... There may be a person that he really loves you...The part of your love is not important, his love is important..Anyhow think better and do the best..
• United States
31 Mar 09
My friend and her now husband dated for a few months then split for several years. The stayed in touch, dated others, came close to marrying others but eventually wound up married to each other. They didn't compare the latest flings to each other and managed to keep things on a friendship level with their souls. It has worked out well for them so far but all couples are different. You may be idiolizing your ex because you are unhappy with your husband but that doesn't mean it will work if you get back together. Ex's are ex's for a reason but there are cases where it could as long as each other really wants it and wants to make it work. So really you have to look at the history, what he wants and how you have both changed so that it doesn't go back to the way it was and why you broke up in the first place. You want to make a new start and not where you left off. If they really want this and to make a new start then there's a good possibility it could work. I do however think that you need to take time for yourself before jumping back into a relationship with your ex or with anyone else if you are going to end your marriage. TAke your time to really date, to get to know each other again and to get to know yourself. That will help things to work out the way they are supposed to.
@jshekhar (1563)
• India
31 Mar 09
Hello friend, It is an extremely sensitive issue. Once you break up, that awkwardness will always be there, no matter how good friends you always remain. I have not experienced something as bad as this one and hence, I would like not to say something too encouraging or too discouraging. At the end of the day, it is a question of your life so it has to be your choice.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
Yes second chance on love is very possible, but in yout case now, slowly, one at a time. Finished your business first with your husband. I mean a legal separation or an annulment or anything that would insinuate it's all over for you. At the same time see the changes made by your ex , if you think you really deserve him and he deserve you at this time, then you can say " Love is lovelier the second time around" (lol). You know there's a successful couple here in our local showbusiness. Both of them are famous actor and actress, they had 3 beautiful children, all were in the same limelight as they were. They got separated when their children were on their teens, the wife got married to another famous guy in another field and have one daughter who's already in her teens, their three children got married and have children all in showbusiness as well. The husband an actor and a singer became a born again preacher. After so many years they find their way of each other living together reunited with their children and grandchildren. It's a very happy ending for this family.