Best way to help someone through their adolescent teenager stage?

United States
March 30, 2009 10:58pm CST
Teenagers seem to have a natural drama gene. They over obsess, over analyze, and think that being sad all of a sudden means you're depressed. I don't want to just avoid them - and some would say I'm still in that stage but I disagree. I've been forced to grow up and now try to go with the flow and just do what I have to do and be there for my friends. It's hard to be there for someone who is so dramatic though - what would you do?
5 responses
@spalladino (17926)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I raised four kids...three of them girls...and one thing I noticed was that a drama queen needs an audience. If you refuse to play along, you will either cause the dramatics to stop or the person will move on to someone who will give them the attention they crave. I'm not suggesting that you tell a friend to take a hike, but that you try to redirect the conversation away from whatever the drama is, if it's something minor. Or give your friend a few minutes of caring concern and *then* redirect the conversation towards something positive. Being overly dramatic can become a habit and it's even worse to deal with when it's an adult doing it. I have a casual friend who I avoid like the plague when she's in one of her "moods". She's around 40 and it got old with me real fast.
1 person likes this
31 Mar 09
dunno soz ..
• United States
2 Apr 09
Thanks for the suggestion. And people who have been out of school for a long time sadden me when they start being overly dramatic. Are there lives really that boring that they have to embellish everything?
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
31 Mar 09
it is simple, to deal with teen drama you ignor it. If you are forced to be near it you try and remind yourself that with life experience they will all fade out of their little drama filled heads. Other then that all you can really do to tell them that the worst is yet to come. Okay, so Jimmy broke up with Katie the night before the big dance and she's a wreck. All you should have to do is remind Katie that it isn't as bad as if it were ten years into a marriage and she found out that her husband was cheating on her with the neighbor's wife a week before the family reunion. Or, the football star broke his leg and his "oh so hot" cheerleader girlfriend is all bummed because now her boyfriend isn't the best looking jock on the field. You can remind her that it could be worse. She could making dinner 5 years down the road and he gets killed in a car accident on his way home. Teenagers are convinced that everything (the little bit) they know is the world and once high school or college is over so is their life.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
It's so hard to get them to calm down when they know how stupid it all is and still don't calm down. The person I'm thinking of even says "I know it's dumb to be upset, I know I'm being dramatic, I'm sorry." and then continues to talk about it.
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
31 Mar 09
They are just looking for attention!
@Uroborus (910)
• Canada
31 Mar 09
Ignoring it isn't the answer, but fighting with them on everything is crazy. Choose your battles carefully. Ask yourself this question. Does what they are doing greatly threaten their safety. If not, then don't overeacte. They are exploring, and as long as they are safe, let them. It might also help if you listened to them, I mean really listen and show an interest in any new ideas they send your way.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 09
I try to listen but when it's the same damn thing every day, it gets a little annoying.
@thaMARKER (3094)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
i have a niece that's currently experiencing a hard time and i do understand it's part of growing up. some kids will walk into some trouble and go out with hard-headed friends. she's into that as of the moment. i'm sad because we're all disturb about it. we're afraid she might not get through high school and get pregnant because she has a boyfriend. her parents talk to her even scolded her but we advised to just slow down. and we also talk to my niece to slow down with things. we're giving whatever she wants as long as it won't influenced her and get her into trouble. i hope she'll be fine..
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 09
I'm sure your niece will be fine. Good luck.
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
31 Mar 09
That is tough. It wasn't too long ago that I was a teenager. And at that age you feel like you know everything and nobody can help you. You feel like nobody in the world understands what you're going through. So if someone were to try to reach out and help, chances are the teen would just push them away. Really I think the best way to deal with it is to just let them be. Be there for them if they reach out to you. But don't force yourself on them or try to get too involved if they don't want you to. And it is just a phase and as they grow and mature there will be much less drama.
• United States
31 Mar 09
What if they force themselves on you?